I am currently planning to kick my mean,controlling husband's butt out. He has shoved me while pregnant, yelled, pushed me down, and displayed uncontrollable anger to me in private and infront of people it feels horrible when I think about it. I had never been exposed to anger like his before I met him, maybe that's why i've stayed with him for these four year's. Maybe just trying to understand him and make excuses and pray it'll get better but it doesn't and i'm tied of trying to change myself and i've done alot of that. I've learned alot being with him. I'm tired of my son seeing us fight. I now he wont go w/out a fight. My stomach can't take anymore of him though. My head tells me I have to do this for my son as well for myself.

I have tired to leave him before but I take him back the next day. Fear comes rushing in my head telling me I can't do it on my own, why struggle. Things will change, the biggest one is my son I always had in my head that the Father always has to be there because I grew up with out my dad at 5years old. And if I leave my husband one or two things will happen he wont come around that much to see his son or I'll have get complete custody of my son because of his dad's anger w/me.
I can't take this pressure I know what I have to do I just wish I had a real friend to talk to and cry on.
I'm need a roomate first, I do have a job. I guess it's just a matter of putting thing together. Any good advice and support would be greatly appreciated

Welcome too the site.

It is a scary thing to face the unknown future.
It sounds like you have plenty of reasons to make this move. It won't be easy I am sure, but you know what you need for yourself and your son.

Be safe.

Enough....welcome to the forum, I wish it were under BETTER circumstances.

Since they are SO closely related...at least at first glance ...you might want to take a look at this thread / post: Both of you posted or started your topics last night.

http://singlefamilyvoices.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/m/433107...901033691#5431006852

Good luck and our prayers are with you.

Hi Enough. Welcome to the forum.

It sounds like you have made up your mind as far as leaving your husband. It is important to have a plan. I suggest you get an attorney to advise you on how to go about matters. It can benefit you later not to make mistakes in the beginning of a divorce. Having a good plan about what you are going to do as far as living arrangement, finances, etc is important. . It is also important to know before you leave about all of your families various financial arrangements...bank accounts, assetts, etc.

Divorces some times get nasty, but make sure that you are doing everything you can to shield your son from any nastiness. Dont discuss things in front of him and dont badmouth his father in front of him even if you think he's not a good person. You cant control what your husband does, but you can control what you do.

I hope everything works out for you. I know that it is scary to step out on your own. But you will find support on this site and the people here are evidence that you can do it. Good luck to you.

I felt the same way when I left my ex. I was terrified of raising my two boys alone and my ex had me so convinced that I couldn't do it alone, that I stayed for WAY too long. That was two years ago and I can now say that we are doing good and I CAN do it by myself. I am a strong believer that it is better to have no father in the picture then one who is setting a terrible example for their kids. I knew I didn't want my sons to grow up thinking that it is ok to treat woman the way their father treated me. I think you will surprise yourself at your own strength. Good luck my prayers are with you!

Yes, you CAN do it. And you won't be alone, you'll have your son, and that in itself will help bring you strength when you know you are doing what you need for him also not just yourself. Plus you just found this forum which as you can already see will lend an ear, a shoulder, all around great support for the mind.
Normally I would suggest trying counseling for the relationship, being as this world is already full of broken relationships that some of which were just a matter of people not putting enough effort into it. But I just can't seem to do that this time, not with that type of abuse happening. Do what you need to do to keep yourself safe.

Get legal advice of some sort, idealy a lawyer or a social worker to protect your son and yourself, they should also be able to tell you about useful resources to find a job and affordable housing.Chances are that there is a number of options available for single mothers who are leaving abusive partners, so professionals should be able to inform you about them.
It sounds like a very scary situation, but no one has the right to intimidate you and take away your peace of mind. Just think that if you stay by his side, things are not going to change much, because you can't change people despite good intentions, but if you take your own separate way, you stand very good chances of feeling happier and by consequence, teaching your son about happiness. Best luck for both.

My ex and I were married for nearly 10 years, and we've been separated for the last 3 of them. We split once when our son was 2 and got back together 9 months later because I felt like I was drowning as a single parent and couldn't make it on my own. That was a huge mistake, but without getting back together I wouldn't have my wonderful little girl, so I am blessed.

It's not easy as a single mother. You'll have it rough at first, but it's well worth it. Your son will be better off without the anger and agression he sees in his father, if he chooses not to be in his life.

If you need legal help, search online for Legal Aide resources or check local colleges with legal programs. I found my attorney (free) through an internship program at the University near me. They allow law students who are about to graduate and are alread board certified interns represent for courtroom experience while supervised by a staff attorney (one of their instructors). It might help.

Good luck to you, and I hope you have the strength to do what is best for you and your son.