To make my story short. Married almost 9 years. During my spouse pregnancy, she subscribed to American Singles and then everything went downhill from there.

Our lawyers are taking their time to do the work. Doesn't help she gave me a 30 page seperation agreement. Things she mentionned in it (full custody, paying her mucho $$$, paying for her house repairs, medical expenses, 500000$ life insurance,etc) total nonesense.

Anyway, we are still tied up financially. Luckily we had two houses, so I'm living in one and she's living in the other. We are renting the basements on both houses. Both houses are in both of our names.

The situation arises now, that I don't know what to do. She hasn't worked since 6 years now. We got a child last year. Now she claims to have a 'valid' excuse not to work. I usually paid for both mortgages with my salary every two weeks and the rental money paid for the rest, but during the years, we were losing lots of money cause the rentals didn't achieve their occupancy rate. So, of course, credit was the way to go. Now, several thousands in debt. So since she didn't work, most of the credit is in my name.

Since I moved to the other house, she's choking me financially. She made a pact with the renters not to give me any money for the rent, only to her (for both houses) and she expects me to pay for the mortgage in full. Well, this leaves me with a problem, I have NO money to live on. SO I have been a sucker and using credit cards. Of course, they will be full in a few months, as I can't pay them back.

A suggestion that I had was to stop paying the mortgages all together, but keep the money when the bank go after us. Of course, she won't know that. I don't know how to pressure her to get a job so I can be free of her nonsense. She has babysitting options with her mom. so I don't know what is the hold back. She wants to have her own business, but refuses to do a business plan. LOL.

I don't even know what advice to give you, I'd hate to see you ruin both your credits in the process with the two mortgages. But I also would not be thrilled with the rent being paid to her and not going towards the mortgages at all.
Seems to me that the lawyers need to at least get some temporary orders put in place to slow the landslide down some.

What about selling one of the properties? I would certainly go back to your lawyer and discuss this financial problem you have......

Sorry I have no advice. But I have a question. I am seperated from my husband for 4 yrs now. He doesn't pay anything here. We have a 11yr and a 7mth. He helps with daycare and private school but I get no assistance with food or bills or mortgage payment. Should I file legally for a seperation? I still love him and I would love to work it out. But I don't think we are on that same page.

Lonely+2, I would definitely at least check in to your states guidelines for support and make sure your children and you are entitled to. I hope that everything worksout for the best for you and your children, but regardless of what happens you need to get what your children are entitled to.

Nightdude,
I am sorry for what you are going through. I have no idea what your legal options are, but would think if you own both homes jointly, you would be entitled to half of the rent with each house. As for making her get a job, good luck if she iss determined not to. Unfortunately all you can do is find out what your rights are to legally protect yourself. Good luck and I hope to hear an update with good news!

Lonely+2,

Fine your local CSE (Child Support Enforcement)office and see if you can apply for child support. They will represent your children and assist in helping set and collect child support.

Think about your legal obligations in your state while still married to him. A lawyer would advise you what your possible risks would be. Some of the ones I can think of off the top are: Are you going to be responsible for 50% of the debt he incures? Does he have access to accounts that you have his name on? How do you feel about him handeling emergencies if you are incompacitated? Don't forget your liabilities with IRS taxes while married, you could still be held responsible. If it bothers you... then yes, legal separation will protect you.


Nightdude,

What a jam. It doesn't sound like she is familiar with the family finances at all. I don't have any advice except to have a financial advisor help you sort these things out for you .... i tend to procrastinate and stall when I'm bothered by these kinds of issues. It doesn't sound as though you have much time to continue meeting your spouse's demands.

Now, why would an adult woman think she does not have to work for a living, Hallo! Wake up, this is the 21st century, and expect you to financially enable her to live her life as she **** well pleases......??

I think you have to step up and take charge of this situation before you get into a complete financial "ruination".

The way I read your post, she is milking you for all she can get (and more).

Good luck!

Find a few nice daycares see what they cost and offer to pay that for the child care so that she can work a few days. How can she just ask for more and more money. I mean you gave her a freaking house.