i would like to ask the parents here a question? do you see your child as a interracial child or tell people your child is? i hope i did not ask that in a wrong or insultive way. please forgive me if i did.

i am asking because my Ex is japanese and i am white and we have daughter. i never really seen her as a biracial or interracial baby. i never really thought about it either. one time some lady at the park came up and starting talking to me and my daughter was playing with her son. she asked me "is she biracial"? i said "mmmmm yea is yours"? after that i thought about it a bit.

The short answer on that is that I think of my son as just my unique, smart, funny boy. I am white and my son's father is Black...but it's much more complicated than than.

My ancestors were from Ireland, France, England, and Maine (Abenaki Indian.) My son's dad had a Cherokee great-grandmother and also a white great-grandmother.

I might be more disposed to think of him as "biracial" if he was involved with his father or his father's family in any way, but they haven't made any attempt to contact us in years. But even then, him being biracial is just one small facet of the incredible little person that he is.

Most of my friends have children who are multi-racial in one way or another (black/white, Korean/black/white, Hispanic/black, etc) so when we get all the kids together, it looks a little like a UN convention anyway .

I have made a point to stress to him that he is even more special to have anscestors from so many diverse places and we discuss race and racial issuesin the context of discussing history, news, etc. However, I do know that when he gets older he will need to navigate his way through the complicated world of a racially-influenced society and that he has to have the skills to deal with those issues. But no, for me, my son's race is only a very, very small portion of his total identity.

I agree w/Kiermeg. My son is half Portuguese. I try to teach him as much as I know of that culture, but don't really look at him as bi-racial. His father was full blooded Portuguese, but doesn't have anything to do w/him. He is a gorgeous, happy, loving, hard-headed, smart, funny kid that is completely perfect in my eyes no matter how many flaws he may have. I wish that people would quit worrying so much about race and worry about real topics. Why does it matter so much what race someone is? I don't understand. I want my son to be seen as the bright, intelligent, gorgeous little person that he is, not as a race. I think that it really is just a small part of who he is and doesn't have as big an impact as the person he is, at least it shouldn't. I think that he needs to know his ethnicity and the cultures he comes from, but I wish people wouldn't see him as a color. I don't look at that when making friends or finding the love of my life. I don't find that as important as whether they are an axe murderer or rapist.

So, in answer to your question, I know he is bi-racial, but don't actually think it matters as much as the man he grows into.

Thank you Ty's mom...your last sentence said it perfectly for me.

TY's mom

those are my thoughts exactily

I understand the concern, though! It is hard to know that the world isn't color-blind! I find that sad really! Hopefully, one day, someone will get everyone to understand, but until then, my views are written above and I would shout them from the rooftops if I thought it would help.

Hey you guys,

I was pretty ignorant about the whold situation with my bi-racial children because I was looking through rose colored glasses. I have never seen anything wrong with dating a person of another race so when I had my children I had the "why should it matter?" attitude. The my daughter complained because she was tired of being "brown" and wanted to be "peach" like me (her words not mine). I realized though that it was not because she wanted to be white, it was because she adores me and wants to be like me in every way including appearance! Imagine that when all the while I have been longing my entire life to look like her. All that sun tanning for nothing!

I think to think that there will be no problems because of the race issue is a little too optimistic. Kids are mean and it will be an issue. So are adults for that matter. BUT I have made it clear to my daughter that people will always find something to hate about and if it were not your appearance it would be something else and you always have to keep your head up because God is the lifter of your head and you do not live for the praise of men but of God.

In that same respect I have told her to be thankful for the prise she receives because of her appearance but to not put too much worth in that for the same reason, we do not live for man but for God and God looks on the heart. THAT is where you should be beautiful.

Just as I can't take pride or shame in being white as I had nothing to do with it, my children cannot take pride or shame in being what they are as they had no choice either. The only thing we can do is love other's without prejudice ourselves and bless those who curse you!

I think that you can take pride in who you are and your culture is a big part of that. I take great pride in the fact that I'm from the South and have grown up w/alot of those values. I didn't have anything to do w/where I was born or what color my skin is, but I do embrace it everyday! I just hate that it matters what color someone's skin is. I wouldn't care if someone was purle w/green polka dots as long as they are a great person on the inside.

I'm not ignorant enough to believe that it doesn't matter, because I see it and hear it everyday. With that said, I wish that we could raise our kids in a world where none of that mattered. My own personal opinion is that race doesn't matter any more than a personal handicap like needing a wheelchair. I know that people are cruel, though. I think there needs to be more education to help the prejudice of the world disappear!