Im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm white and his father is black. My family isn't open to "race mixing" as they would call it. This was hard for my parents to accept, my father inparticular. I was wondering if there are any others with families like this that eventually changed their minds and loved the child anyway? I'm afraid that my son will have to grow up in a family where no one will accept him. I don't want him to be treated and different or loved any less. If there is someone out there that has been through this before please reply. I could use all the advice or encouragement anyone has to offer.

Hi brittany,
My younger sister has 3 kids now. Our dad, their grandfather used to have fits that she dated black men since high school but over time he has mellowed out about it. At first, with her oldest he had a few comments of his own as well. But he does absolutely adore her kids, his grandkids, and there are no acceptance issues.
Best wishes

Thats very reassurring. I just know that its gonna be hard for him growing up. He is gonna know that he is different. There is only one other mixed child in the family. And like I said, his father isn't really around and I can't teach him about his black heritage. I don't want to keep that from him or hide it. I just don't know that much about it myself because I'm white. I just want his life to be as easy as possible. And I don't want unnecessary predjudice from his family to be a problem.

I have a biracial son who is the light of my life, however unlike you this was never a problem for my family. I do have a cousin who had part Asian children and her parents were horrified and tried to have him deported when she told them she was marrying him. My grandfather said to them wait until you are dangling your grandchildren on your knee. He was right as soon as the baby was born they changed and they love their grandsons.
My son is part maori (native New Zealander) and his Dad does not visit. Here they have pre-school that is called Kohanga Reo and we go to that 2 or 3 times a week. It is total immersion in the maori language and gives Haydn a chance to learn about his culture. I really wanted Haydn to understand his culture and like you felt that I didn’t know enough. I am useless at learning the language but am getting there. Are there any groups that you could get involved in that would let your child get exposure to his black heritage? When I went a long I explained that I felt inadequate at providing Haydn a grounding in his culture and they have been really supportive.

brittany

my mother sort of had a disapproval of my dating a woman of asian decent. but we did marry and had my daughter. my mother fell in love with my daughter first sight and shows nothing but love for her.

My mother and grandfather were both very racist people at the time they found out I was pregnant with a black man's baby. But they came around, how could they not love someone who is part of their family?

As for your son having a hard time growing up... maybe not, more and more people are "race mixing" as your family called it. It's not very uncommon anymore to have biracial children. Even in my generation biracial children aren't treated as outcasts.

I have two bi-racial daughters and I have found that even the most racist of people cannot resist a baby. And if they can their hearts are so hardened that I would not want my kids around them anyway. As for being able to teach the child about their culture, you can't. Going to preschools and schools that are mixed helps alot. I happen to have a best friend and many other friends who are black and have children also which helps my kids in that area. I also go to a inter-denominational, multi-cultural church and that has been one of our greatest assets! Their dad's family is just plain country and I have come to learn that that is a culture in itself!

Good luck. Don't worry, just wait until they see that precious face, they will start singing a different tune. If they don;t you can start singing "Hit the road Jack!"

Hi! I came accross this site when I was doing some research. I'm actually not a single parent at all, but I am a woman who is biracial. I thought it might help you to hear my families story. When my mother got pregnant for my oldest brother my grandfather and grandmother were very against it. They are Slovaks, right off the boat, and wanted my mother to marry a slovak boy. My mother was scared, told them, and my grandpa, who is a strong Roman Catholic, told her to have an abortion! But she didn't. My mother went through with having my brother, married my dad, and had my other brother and me. My grandparents saw what they were missing. I mean mixed babies are beautiful!! And they came around. Now, out of 7 grand children I'm their favorite. I've spent more time with them than any of my cousins and brothers. Your family will come around. Just let them know how you feel, and tell them that this is going to be a special child, and that you would really love them to be a part of its life. When they lay eyes on your baby, they will totally change their mind. My grandparents did! And they come visit me at college all the time, we have spent every Sunday together, and they love me very much!!! Good luck with the baby!

Hey there...i just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that you are not the opnly woman out there with this problem...

i got pregnant by my ex who was black and i had the hardest time telling my parents. i knew that they wouldnt approve..my father is totally racist and my mom said that i shouldnt date or sleep with black people but i can have them as friends. when i told them that i was pregnant they had their worries. they were very very mad at first and tried their hardest to prevent the birth from happening. i went through all the long..emotional talks...horrible racist comments and everything else horrible that you could think of...and in the end when they saw my son...they both melted. i couldnt of asked for better...more supportive parents. my dad plays with my son and keeps pictures in his wallet and even on his desk at work. he loves him more than i could ever imagine he would. and my mother is the same way. i cant believe how different they were when he was born. so even though it is hard right now...it gets so much easier. and people do change...a baby can change how you look at the world. just keep that in mind...i hope my words helped you even a little bit

quote:

Originally posted by britty04:
[qb] Im 25 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm white and his father is black. My family isn't open to "race mixing" as they would call it. This was hard for my parents to accept, my father inparticular. I was wondering if there are any others with families like this that eventually changed their minds and loved the child anyway? I'm afraid that my son will have to grow up in a family where no one will accept him. I don't want him to be treated and different or loved any less. If there is someone out there that has been through this before please reply. I could use all the advice or encouragement anyone has to offer. [/qb]

Well, I am going to post something a little unorthadox this time.

In today's society we are just starting to get over the controversy of different colors or nationalities. I want to ask a question, do you care if your lover is a different religion or not?

A few hundred years ago religion ruled the world. If you were a different religion then someone, most likely you were at war with them at some point in time and were mortal enemies. Society eventually grew up and learned to cope with the diffferences in people's beliefs, but still people preached that "Thou shall not kill" as a commandment yet holy wars were created to force people to believe in their religion, talk about being a hippocrit. Why am I mentioning this, because of the point I am about to get to that might help ease your way of thinking about your problem.

People for some reason fear that which is different or unknown. It doesn't matter that we all have red blood, live under the same sun and moon, drink the same water, or have the same anatomy. People for some reason what to feel better then their peers, being equal doesn't feel right to society. In the next 50 years or less Black or White won't make a difference anymore, beause society is going to start judging a whole new different group of people.

About 10 years ago a scientist cracks the human genetic code, which means that in the near future they will be able to learn what flaws a specific person has genetically based upon their blood line. What does this mean? Well, if the world was a perfect place it would mean that people could get help for genetic diseases and live what most people consider a normal life. But looking back at the evolution of humanity, lets be honest for a moment. We are looking at people being discriminated for their genetic code. Black or White like religion is to us now will become meaningless, as long as you are part of the genetically sound group you will be considered part of the important society. The real question is not whether we shall do this or not, but why will we do it.

You family will soon forget about racial matters because the future of discrimination is close. We are at the end of one bad cycle and about to begin a whole new cycle. Guess my news is not much help because there is a huge down side to all this, but it might help with being upset about have a white and black child.

Glenn

There is a cultural arts center here in Nashville. I looked in your area through google and found this site:

www.oldschool.org
Old School Square Cultural Arts Center is a nationally recognized historic preservation project, thanks to the determination of a local group of citizens who saved the 1913 Delray Beach Elementary and 1925 Delray Beach High School buildings from demolition. Over $7 million was raised to restore and renovate the facilities, located in the heart of downtown Delray Beach. Now a National Historic Site and Florida Cultural Institution, the four acre center is a testament to the role of the arts in downtown revitalization.

Perhaps this can help you both learn about your baby's heritage when the baby gets older.....

So I was watching PBS the other day. It's black history month and I am fascinated with geneology. They are at a point now with science where a swab of your inner cheek can tell genetecists what percent European, Sub-Saharan African, North African, South African, Asian, Indian blood in you. Guess what???? Not one person that they have tested is 100% one race. Everyone is biracial. We are all people.

PS see my little mixed son with his whale. haha