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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
I am a white but my son's father is African American. It took everyone by suprise and a lot of people I know including my family disagree with the mixing of races. How can I help people to see that someones color has nothing to do with loving a beautiful child? Please Help!!
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I am New to SFV |
Hi I am a white mother, my son is white, but my daughter is mixes, her father is black, my family had MAJOR problems with this, I was raised that you do not mix colors, I never thought I would ever date outside my race, well I found myself at the age of 32 and dating a black man, now came the time to tell my family, my mother did not speak to me for a few wks, my grandparents well it just hurt them beyond believe but they didn't say much to me, then came the time to tell them I was preg, totaly different story, my mother refused to have anything to do with the baby, although she was not yet born ( LOL) it took her a few months to talk to me, we had major arguements, you yourself cannot change how they feel, all you can do is ask God to move in their life and show them what a beautiful child you have and ask God to blind them to color of your child, that is what I did, I could not change how they felt even though I thought I could, it just made matters worse. And there are times when the family will not come around, you just have to go on, I know it hurts and you hurt for your child, but they are the ones missing out on such a beautiful blessing. You can just tell them that you yourself do not see color in people that we ALL came from the same DNA ( which is God ) and then let God take it from there. This may not help you much, but I pray that it does, the out come of mine is this: Before she was born my mother accepted the fact that her granddaughter was mixed and now that she has seen her, she is the light of her life, my family loves this baby regardless of her color, doesn't mean they like it,but they see past it..
God Bless you, Theresa |
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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
Thank you so much! That is pretty much how my family responded but it is the outside people I have to deal with more now. My son is 4 months old and i am still hearing stories and racial slurs. How did you deal with it?
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I am New to SFV |
Well I guess I got fortunate, I live in Tulsa, Okl and it is common here for mixed children. I have not yet come across anyone who has looked at me strange or rediculed me for my daughter being mixed. I guess if I was to come across that, I would just have to turn and walk away, although that would be hard, I would want to say something, but it is best just to go on and leave it to God, they should not be judging us, like the Bible says, you must take out the plank in your eye before judging someone else. I am sorry that you have had to deal with this, I will keep you in my prayers. My daughter will be a yr the 4th of June and everyone we come in contact with just goes on and on about how beautiful she is, some have a hard time believing she is mixed, she is not very dark, but then there are some that say oh yes I can tell she is mixed, I have found that mixed babies are the most beautiful babies lol...and very smart but at the same time, very stubborn, hard headed, very very strong willed lol....Good luck to you and if you ever need anyone to talk to please feel free to email me..
Much Prayers, Theresa |
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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
A lot of people don't know how to act when they see a bi-racial child. Thry don't understand the beauty of them or that they are a masterpiece made by God. I wouldn't force anyone to see my son if they didn't want to but I would feel very sorry for them because he is so beautiful and very special. Maybe in time your husband's family will come around! Good Luck!
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I am New to SFV |
Hello everyone. Well my daughter is 13 weeks old. She is mixed. I am white and her father(sperm donor) is black. I just had to add the sperm donor part because that's what he is. I haven't been with him for almost a year now. It has been 9 months.
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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
I know what you mean! My son's father is also a sperm donor, but that just fine with me. It can get hard sometimes but in my situation we are better off without him. Feel free to e-mail me
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
hehee.. sperm donor. I know what you mean! Mine is a sperm donor! He is asain and I am white. I just hope she looks like me and not like I adopted her. Thats my only fear. I also wonder what my family will think. They are weird like that because they are from another country. Especially my grandparents. My parents already know and are somewhat dealing with it. The only thing that bothers me is that my mother keeps trying to convince herself that the baby will not even look asain. Come on. the father is. And I know its a very dominant gene. She keeps saying, His eyes arent really slanted. he doesn't have much of a flat face. Now if i showed you a picture you guys would say... yeah. hes asain! LOL OH lordy..... this is going to be interesting!
6 more weeks till she is born! LOL |
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I am New to SFV |
I am a mother of a mixed daughter, I am still connected to her dad but not for long, and I am starting to think she is confused. She has white half brother/sister and black/half sisters and most of the people we interact with are dark skinned as we usually say. But she is white you would really have to be searching to say she was mixed. Starting last year when she started pre-k she didn't want her dad to come to any activities (the school is mainly comprised of dark skinned children) he was even aware of this, she is embarassed by him. She will not admit she has any dark blood in her and does not want to even hear anyone say it. She has friends that are not white. I don't know what to do. I want her to grow up knowing who she is and be proud. She is really beautiful and I am not just being the proud mom. Do you think she is in an identy crisis.
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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
It is very hard for kids to understand about there race, even if they are around other mixed children. My son does not look like other mixed kids, this will probably be something that I will face and the only thing i know to do or to tell you is to always encourage her and don't push her to be around her father. You can e-mail me at ethanlesley*yahoo.com, I would love to hear from you and maybe we could help each other. Good Luck!!
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I am New to SFV |
I'm a single father of a 3mos mix baby boy I'm not a sperm donor but I feel like one at times thou. My family just accept the fact my son is mixed I'm going throu a long court hearing thou for visitation/custody, But I fear my son will turn like his my mother sister is which is mixed but she has not had ne black role models around so they basically raised her the best she can which is white, I'm trying to be involved my son his life I want him to know what the world is gonna view him as black and nothing else raise my son to be strong and proud of who he is.
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"I am New to SFV" I am New to SFV |
I am very glad that you have chosen to be a part in your son's life. Your son doesn't need to just have african american male role models he needs to have supportive male rolemodles. Your son won't see color, he will see the actions that the men will make. Good Luck!!
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Board Member |
 Venus, I am very confused with everything about you. The baby is not the one with the problem you are. You continued to say that you would not know that this chid is mixed unless you search for it. and that she is ashamed of her dad. Why? I know a lot of black judges, doctors, lawyers and dam good actors and sports personalities. So what is the problem with being black. I think you are the one with the problem. children only know what they hear and what they are taught. You really need to evalulate things. One piece of advise to you. Don't lay with another race if you are going to be ashamed of the outcome. You are the one with the problem. |
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