my babys dad cheated on me the day i told him i was pregnant with his child. his new girlfriend is a control freak like his mother (i think he likes a dominant woman)and is trying to be the mother to my child along with his mother. i feel bad trying to keep my daughter from him because of her but i hate her with a passion. he even had the balls to bring her to my hospital room three hours after my daughter was born. am i being selfish?

I don't think selfish is the appropriate word.
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The words I have for the insensitivity of bringing the new girlfriend to your hospital room are not acceptable here.
The only word I will use is clueless.

I am sorry you find yourself having this life situation to live in. Perhaps you could find a councilor or therapist to help you learn how to deal with these people and how to express yourself. I really think you will need to set boundaries.
Your daughter is a person, you are a person.
His mother and girlfriend may be control freaks, fine-they can control him all they want.
You need thoses boundaries to keep them from controling you.

Good luck, stay strong and enjoy your daughter

He brought her into the room? I would have chucked something at him and blamed it on left over horomones.

I can relate to the dominant controlling mother (my soon to be ex-mother-in-law is the same way. She's doing her ranting from a distance right now and it's quite nice). As crazy as these women make you, just remember no matter what they say or do, you are the mommy and they need to respect you in that role. If they can't do it on their own, it's pretty sad.

I would've had words with the nurses.

What does the new girlfriend do to your baby?

I don't think you are being selfish, but I do think you need to set the boundries. He needs to know that this is between you and him and not the new girlfriend. She should have nothing to do with decisions for your child.
Once the boundries are set remember this is just as new for them as it is for you and all of you are going to have to adjust and come to "friendly" terms for the sake of your daughter.
I wish you the best.

I don't think your selfish. That man needs a good butt kicking!! How old is he? Be glad you saw his true colors. I learned to be nice to the girlfriends, because they tended to be the ones watching my kids the most during visitation. But, not at the newborn stage.

It's so tough to be nice... A long long long time ago when Jack would visit his dad, he would have his girlfriend there with them. It was really tough because his girlfriend was a stripper (not the stripper he's with now, but a different one), and she had 8 kids that she had given up for adoption. It made me uneasy...

As tough as it was to hand him over to dad and hootchie-mama, I knew I had to be the bigger person, and get over my feelings of animosity and anger.

There was nothing I could do, I didn't like it, but my hands were tied.

But once you can actually overcome those feelings (or bury them deep down inside you), things get much easier.

i just recently found out that the father of my baby doesnt want to deal with being a parent. his father told me that the only reason they want my daughter up there on weekends is so her father will stop hanging out with his girlfriend. what the f. is that.

Welcome to the forum :welcome:

Stick around for a while. It might make it easier...

the dad came over yesterday for a halph hour then left. it takes an hour to get here. i dont get it.

Time to put hour foot down Proud Mommy. You can do it! We all will be cheering for you.

oh my goodness. so ians parents came to my house today to visit kylie and tell me that ian was moving to minot with his girlfriend and that he wants nothing to do with kylie. oh my god and i worked sooooo hard to please everyone to find out it was all for nothing. i am angry and happy at the same time because i dont need ian i can take care of kylie alone. and my parents are around whenever i need them plus my family is huge and they all just love her to peices. im not worried about that at all but what i am worried about is her not having a father. i think i can find a better father for her. someone who will love her and take care of her.

Proud mommy, it was not all for nothing. You know in your heart that you did what was right by every one involved. That all alone is a great accomplishment.
Keep your chin up and God bless.

I am so glad I read this. I am with you proud mommy! My ex brought his new girlfriend to the delivery room too! Since they've been together I haven't been allowed to talk to him alone. I am in the same boat. We used to work together and he quit when I got pregnant and came back 6 months later with her. Yeah, he got her a job with me. Talk about aqward! I don't know what to do about it. I just ignore her and if she talks out of place I say, this isn't your kid. Good luck!

Proud mommy. If he's anything like my daughters father, be sooo thankful. I wish I had let him go when he wanted to. I fought so hard to make sure my baby had her daddy, and if I hadnt, things would be so different now. You'll also find that you are much more careful of who you choose to be your boyfriend after having a baby. It has to be someone who WILL stick around, and really does care about you and your baby. Good luck to you.