I am New to SFV
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quote: Originally posted by Gabriel's Mom:
[qb]You sound like a really great guy, lol do you have any brothers in texas? :-P[/qb]
Sorry I don't! But thank you very much for that compliment!  I'm sure there are plenty of good guys over there, if I happen to find one I'll let you know! |
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| Posts: 3 | Location: Florida | Registered: 28 May 2004 |  |
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On the Board
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I can give advice from I know. I live in florida and Im going through a battle and 1/2 with my ex. He doesnt want the kids so he doesnt want to help me by paying child support. The only that you could get 50/50 if your ex isnt willing to do it, is by going to court and letting a judge here your case and explain the whole situation to the judge. Because if you were to take the child and your ex decides to be a b**ch about she can say you took the baby without her consent. In florida the mother has all legal rights to the child when a family splits up until/unless the mother is proved to be unfit to raise a child. Im sure that a judge would not say no to 50/50 because of the fact that you want to help raise your child. You can email if you have anymore questions or just want to talk at mommy3113*aol quote: Originally posted by zgx:
[qb]Hello all, New to this forum. I am 23 years old and my fiance who is 18 and I are thinking of going our separate ways, however we have a beautiful 7 month old baby girl. I understand the bond between child and mother but I would to be able to visit or spend as much time as I can with my baby. I mentioned shared custody to my partner but she says that since it is my decision to go our separate ways she shouldn't have to suffer being away from our baby. I would like feedback in regards to this issue from other parents out there. We're trying to stir out of court as much as possible, I don't believe in it because I know what I am responsible for and I would never withhold support from the most important thing in my life.
If for some reason we were to go to court for shared custody in the state of FL. What are my chances to keep her half the time? Like I said i am 23, I come from a stable family, educated, no criminal record, secure career, responsible, mature and affectionate person. This sounds like I am full of myself I just want to point out the qualities that I see within me.
Thanks a lot of any future advice you might provide.[/qb]
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| Posts: 50 | Location: Spring Hill, Florida | Registered: 09 June 2004 | |
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I am New to SFV
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Hello, I am new to this forum, but would like to respond to you. I am currently going through a divorce that I initiated with my wife. We have a 3 year old (who is my stepson) and a 4 month old daughter. It is not always best to stay with the person you are with because of a child. If the parents are constantinly fighting and angry it is not healthy for the children to see that. No matter how much a person says they "keep it from the children". Kids aren't stupid. They pick up on those things. I currently have temporary custody of both children. My wife has accused me of being verbally and emotionally abusive, which I was not. It was her who was emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive to me. Fathers have been getting the short end of the stick when it comes to their children for years. Society still thinks that fathers cannot raise their children by themselves. That's false. I work 40 hours per week, I am 3 classes away from my Bachelor's degree and I have a very close relationship with both my daughter and my stepson (who will always be my son no matter what, I label him as my stepson only on legal documents and on here for clarification, anywhere else he is just my son). I have a very helpful and supportive family and my parents live with me so they help out a great deal. My mother watches the children while I work and it saves me a great deal of worry and money with daycare. My son has major allergies and asthma and is lactose intolerant. My daughter was born with respiratory problems and a heart condition as well as allergies and she is also lactose intolerant. I normally get about 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night but I really don't mind because my children come first. If my wife had had the same mindset I do, we would probably still be together. Right now, I have a pretty good chance of keeping full custody of both children and plan on fighting for that until I win or I die whichever comes first. I do not care how bitter you are, you should never condemn someone for doing what they feel is right. If this man and the baby's mother cannot live together, then maybe it is best to split custody. That way the child will still see two happy parents. Even if they are not happily together, isn't it better that they are just happy and loving to the child? David White quote: Originally posted by mommat:
[qb] My question to you is why do you want to leave your fiance. I personally have gone through this with my ex and I just can't understand why anyone would want to leave a relationship when a child is involved. Unless of course there is abuse which doesn't seem to be the case. You obviously felt something for her to get her pregnant so what has happened. Wouldn't you rather provide you child with a happy 2 parent home. I'm not trying to judge you but your child needs to come first. How could you possibly be satisfied with only seeing your daughter some of the time of her life. I'm sorry I'm a little bitter cuz I can't understand why men just up and leave there families.
I just want to speak on behalf of your fiance, as a fellow mother. Being the mother of an infant is very difficult and time consuming. If you are thinking about leaving her because you feel she has changed or that she is not giving you enough attention you need to talk to her. She probably isn't even aware of it. Motherhood only makes good women better so if she is willing to try you need to too. I don't mean to offend you but that is what is wrong with our society. Men and women alike give up on relationships to easy. A relationship is hard, hard, hard and it isn't about love it is about being committed to that person even when you feel like you don't love them. And its even harder when you have kids.
As far as 50/50 if you do split I wouldn't advice it. First of all the child is going to have a strong bond to whom ever is there for her all of the time. It doesn't have to be a mother or even a father. So I'm not saying this because I think you daughter needs to be with her mother. My ex left my daughter when she was 10 months old and she had never ever been away from me. Visitation was very hard on her, she would come home and wouldn't talk, smile, or anything. It wasn't because I was her mother it was because I took care of her every need and loved her. You definatly need to spend time with her but like a previous post said you have to remember that she is just a baby and that she needs stability and ROUTINE. Visitation with both of you there is the best way to go that way she can be in familiar surroundings.
In my oppinion if you leave your relationship with you daughter will never be the way it would have been if you had stayed and no matter how much she loves you she will grow up and she will always wonder why daddy didn't love me enough to be with me everyday.
I appologize for being staight forward but I hope that you will think long and hard about what kind of life you want to give your daughter. Because I promise you if you and your fiance are loving people she is a whole lot better off with an intact family than two seperate ones.
Again sorry, I'm just thinking of your daughter. [/qb]
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| Posts: 1 | Location: Manning, SC | Registered: 31 December 2004 | |
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