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So I've posted on here before...you can check it out under "my son rules"...Everything's been going very well since that last post...my son's mother and I have gotten along very well, and I get to see my son often. However, she recently wrote me an email and told me that she wants to move out of state and that she doesn't want me to follow. She wants to "follow her heart" and "grow and become a success". Honestly, I think that's wonderful, but she adds, "I don't want you to follow me." "No one considers him to be your baby." I'm scared that she's going to take my son away from me! I told her that eventually I'd follow regardless of where she went, but obviously, that takes time. Should I take her to court? And if so, should I do it before she leaves or wait until after she leaves, then file for some sort of custody? I'm so afraid of losing my little boy! How can I resolve this situation peaceably? I love my son more than anything in the world, and I don't want my love for him to get in the way of his mother going out and pursuing her dreams. I don't want to make any selfish decisions--I just want to do what is best for my son, but I can't help but feel that what his mother is doing is just as selfish as anything that I could do.
Posts: 8 | Location: Harrisonburg, VA | Registered: 03 February 2004
Jourdan, It sounds as though you may have to atleast get something drawn up by an attorney for distance visitation. Just to protect your rights as a father. If you have documents from the court concerning visitation, custody and support, she may not be able to leave the state without proving more than a latteral move. That is how it is in Florida. Even in the case when the custodial parent gets married to someone out of state, the judge can still say no. I hope it does not come to any of this for you. I would get paperwork concerning visitation at the very least! Good luck. Carla
Posts: 1598 | Location: Florida | Registered: 14 February 2004
hey Jourdon, I would definitely talk to a family attorney. He is your son too. As long as you have been an active part of your child's life,she shouldn't be moving. By her moving she is being selfish because she is denying her son his father. If you were an inactive parent then i would say let her go i t would be best for all of you. in CA parental rights are 50/50. you get stuck on moving restrictions. Fathers don't realize the rights they actually have. Good luck keep us posted on what is happening.
Posts: 94 | Location: Riverside, CA | Registered: 15 March 2004
I am a single mom but I say take her to court before she leaves. It is much harder to do things when she is in one state and you are in another. The sooner the better. I mean for her to say that is jsut wrong. I would understand if you were not in your son's life but you seem to be very active in his life. You have every right to your child as much as she does. good luck and don't give up the fight.
Shannon
Posts: 159 | Location: Chicago, IL | Registered: 04 May 2003
When I read your posting I felt really bad about your ex wanting to take your son out of your life. I see this scenario alot, and it really upsets me that there are so many women that would DREAM of having a father involved with their child but the father does not want to. Then, here you are wanting to be a part of your son's life, and she thinks she can just pack up and leave? I would definitely take some action fast. If you wait too long, she may leave and not leave an address or info on where she is going. I would suggest getting legal advise fast. You can have the judge order her not to move until the court date. On the day of the court date the judge will order you both to come to a visitation agreement. (or send you to a mediator if you cannot come to an agreement) I think that she is being very selfish and is failing to realize that your child needs you. I commend you for wanting to be there for your child. I wish you the best of luck, hope this helps!
Posts: 2 | Location: Los Angeles, CA | Registered: 13 April 2004
I have been going through exactly the same thing that you have been going through and I will tell you that it it is easier to hire a lawyer before she leaves town. The main reason for this is that once all the paperwork is in the court system she can not leave town. If you wait untill after she leaves then you will have to hire a lawyer from where the child resides.
My advice to you is to do what ever you can to see your child, you will never regret it.
Posts: 1 | Location: Louisiana | Registered: 17 May 2004
I just wanted to say congratulations for wanting to be part of your sons life. You need to take her to court and fight for your little boy.You are his father if you do not stand up for him noone will. I wish my sons father wanted a part in his life.
Posts: 4 | Location: Tennessee | Registered: 01 July 2004
Take her to court before she leaves and the judge may grant a stay until things get worked out on paper. She will eventually get to go over state line but not if there isn't an arrangement worked out between the two of you. It could take a long time if you two don't agree. I do have a question...Why did she say no one considers you the father if you are so involved in his life?
Posts: 1102 | Location: MICHIGAN | Registered: 03 June 2004
Originally posted by Jourdan: [qb]So I've posted on here before...you can check it out under "my son rules"...Everything's been going very well since that last post...my son's mother and I have gotten along very well, and I get to see my son often. However, she recently wrote me an email and told me that she wants to move out of state and that she doesn't want me to follow. She wants to "follow her heart" and "grow and become a success". Honestly, I think that's wonderful, but she adds, "I don't want you to follow me." "No one considers him to be your baby." I'm scared that she's going to take my son away from me! I told her that eventually I'd follow regardless of where she went, but obviously, that takes time. Should I take her to court? And if so, should I do it before she leaves or wait until after she leaves, then file for some sort of custody? I'm so afraid of losing my little boy! How can I resolve this situation peaceably? I love my son more than anything in the world, and I don't want my love for him to get in the way of his mother going out and pursuing her dreams. I don't want to make any selfish decisions--I just want to do what is best for my son, but I can't help but feel that what his mother is doing is just as selfish as anything that I could do.[/qb]
Ok, my opinion is very dif. from everyon elses here. First off, do you get to see your son as much as you can if she allows it. Whenever u want? If so then ask her how often you would get to see him if she leaves. Ask her how you guys would arange that and if she would be fare to you? If anything does not sound concrete then yes you can go to court, but it takes a long time to go through that process. ANd maybe things will work themselves out when she leaves. Going to court is such a hard thing to do when you have a child. I know b/c I wont go. I dont get enough support money for my son, but I just dont want to take his dad to court b/c I dont want to deal with all the drama, and it would give us one more thing to fight about when we can somewhat get a long now, and I am just scared that things would turn really ugly. But mostly b/c I am scared for him to get legal rights and be able to take him whenever he wants him. WIth me saying that I realize that you do want to be a part of your sons life so now I say go for the court thing if you have to. Sorry, I am a confusing person!! Good Luck and God Bless you for wanting to be a part of your sons life. You are an inspiration.
Posts: 42 | Location: nashville | Registered: 21 August 2004
hey jourdan- i do not know when all this is going to take place,everybody is basicly right.me,personally,everybody is forgetting about the one important person,your son.if you are on speaking terms with your ex,talk things out,before calling lawyers,courts,into this.call the lawyer to see what you can do(do not say anything to the anyone,until after the fact).if the two of you can work things out,before she leaves the state,and then go to court to have things in writing.remember, your child is in the middle.my ex like to used our daughter has a weapon against me.who gets hurt.the person,who is first,is your son.i am things go well.would you please let me know how things goes.you would me able to reach me at my email address- wildcats502000@yahoo.com.my second email,so my kids do not read somthing that are not soppused to. thanks dale ellen
Posts: 28 | Location: grayslake,il. | Registered: 22 October 2004
It's sad to say, but take her to court. There are too many fathers (and mothers) who do not take part in their child's life, and here you are trying to be there for your son and she wants to take him away. She will be hurting your son if she takes him away from you, and to do the right thing by your son you must keep that bond between ya'll.
Posts: 215 | Location: Virginia | Registered: 23 October 2004
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