Hi all, I recently moved from England to Norway to be with my girlfriend. After a month of being here we found out that she was pregnant with our child. Since moving I have found it hard to settle in here, neither of us know the city very well, I'm finding it difficult to get a job as I don't speak Norwegian and I've been generally a bit freaked out by the pregnancy on top of all of this. This has meant I've been a bit depressed and not very helpful with my girlfriend's problems of having to settle in to a new course at college and be in a new city and be pregnant aswell. Anyway last week she told me that she no longer wants us to be together, she doesn't think there's enough between us to start a family. She still says I can be involved and see her during the pregnancy but I'm finding this all very very difficult. I was just wandering if anyone has had a similar experience (from either point of view) and has any advice on dealing with things. Thanks in advance for your help.

Brenden,
Pregnancy does strange things to a woman. Hormones can make them feel all wishy washy and not really know what they want. Picture yourself in a year...can you imagine your life without her? Can you imagine your life without your baby? If not then let her know. Insist that you love her and the baby and you want to try it out as a family before you call it quits, what's the worst that can happen? Set a deadline with her as to when you should decide if you're going to saty a family or leave, at least talk her into giving you and a normal family a chance. Spoil her rotten, sweep her off her feet, tell her she's beautiful every single day, that's what a depressed pregnant woman needs! She needs your love and support, become overly involved, buy something cute for the baby and suprise her, go to her appointments and get excited-she'll adore you for it! It's what most women I know want! Do you want to be in this babies life? I think you'd be making a huge mistake to walk away now, being a single parent is so much harder than having two loving parents working together! Good Luck!
Jakesmommy

Hi there, I think Jakesmommy is right. You need to tell her how you feel. I know that when I was pregnant I would fly off the handle and have some pretty silly ideas. I didn't think they were silly until after the fact. To be honest with you sometimes when you are pregnant you are not quite yourself. I know that I seemed like a mental case at times. I hope for you that everything will work out as you want, but if it doesn't don't loose the chance to be a dad. Make sure you are involved in every part of that childs life. Children are true wonders of the world and they come in this world and change everything for the better. Good Luck to you.

Hey Brendan,
I was in a VERY similar situation myself about a year ago. My girlfriend got pregnant and told me that she did not want me in her life anymore at all. Though I assume my situation was a little bit more drastic, I think your course of action should be what I SHOULD have done. If you love her, then tell her that you do. If you want to be part of the babies life, and part of the pregnancy, then tell her so. However, if she asks you to stay away during all of this, then respect her wishes and stay away from her and give her the space that she needs. However, DO NOT go anywhere. Always stick around, don't go back home thinking that you've done all that you could and give up. Always make sure that you're somewhere near and that there's a way for her to easily contact you in case she ever wants/needs to talk to you. That was the mistake that I made, and I've regretted it ever since. Just make sure that you're doing everything that you can and following along as closely as you possibly can, even if that means keeping a healthy distance from your girlfriend.

Actually I am doing the same thing w/ my I guess now ex-boyfriend. Don't feel bad, w/ you it might be she feels overwhelmed and lost and doesn't think you understand or care that she's the one phyiscally going through this. With my situation it's different and more complicated. I have known this guy for well over 2yrs and I have also have soon to be a 4yr old boy. He knew I was a single mom and we got another on the way but he made plans with me but hasn't followed through with any of them. I was supposed to move last week and he hadn't even called to find out if I was moving and if he could help. She might see in you broken promises and that you might be alittle self absorbed or maybe it's her how is doing it. Give her space. With mine, I told him from the get go that if he kept braking promises that I would make a decision he wouldn't like, and I did. He lives about an hour way and I didn't expect him call everyday or anything like that. I just wanted him to make the effort a couple times a week to start resolving and planning for both children, his idea was to constantly work and he makes alot of money, I never saw the money, and ignore me for 2 or more weeks at a time. If that's not the situation, then she's a bit spoiled.