I am extremely glad to have found this site! I posted a condensed version of "my situation" before. Briefly, my son found out in Dec 2003 he was the father of a child that was born in Sept. 2003. We as a family had moved across country & he had no clue a girl he "left behind" was pregnant. When he found out, he stood up & was accountable from moment one. He moved mother & child out to Va., where he lives. After a few months, mom of baby got "homesick" & decided to take thier child to visit her mother, & was supposed to return in 10 days, but she didn't. My son filed for joint custody & went to court last week. He received joint custody & physical custody for 6 months of the year. His babys mother is co-operating but did not show up for court. She only began co-operating after papers were filed... Anyway, my son lives about 3 hours from me. I am flying out to get his son on Dec. 11, with courts & moms approval. My son will be 20 years old on Dec. 4. So he is young. I am proud how maturily he is handling this & very proud of how seriously responsible he is acting; baby proofing the house, interviewing babysitters, quit smoking, etc. He has a decent job & his own apartment. (He has a roomate, his best friend of 10 years who is absolutely on board) The situation is NOT ideal. I stand in his corner 100 %. However, he has gotten negativity, from his grandparents especially, about his "illegitamate child" & lectures on what he SHOULD'VE Done. Too late, it is done. I welcome my Grandson, & make a concious effort not to condemn my son. I am wondering if it would be possible to ask for a favor here, as single parents who have face the awesome responsibility of raising children. Is there any way some of you could send a card his way? I'm thinking Christmas Cards with positive words of encpouragement... I just want my son to sknow he is not alone, & support extends far & wide... He knows my family & I support him, but he thinks we are it & is beating himself up for his irresponsibility... Anyway, is that ok to ask here? I don't know if I should post his address here... Oh. Just in case, this is NOT a call for financial or material help! Thank You!

Hey Molly, I am in NC too and think you have a great attitude toward your son. Yes hind sight is 20/20 but I have also learned that people need time to come to terms with those less than ideal occurances in life. Please be patient with the other grandparents as technically everything they are saying is true, they just need some gentle encouragement in getting past that.

Also, I would love to send your son a card of encouragement but I do not think that posting his address is wise. Maybe Robin or the other moderators have a good idea as to how to acheive this? Priavte messages to let her know we are interested????

Good luck and thanks for being a fantastic mom and grandma!

Does he have a computer with internet access? Why not join the boards here? Lots of support, and encouragement.

If you want, we could maybe type a little letter of some sort, or short message, and you can print it and he could read it. Put it in a stocking for Christmas. It is better than giving out his address or email. Just a thought. I think he is brave and very responsible. Like w/all the men that are members of this board, I applaud his efforts and think it is fantastic that a man his age has taken on that kind of responsibility!

AndysMamaw,

your son can be very proud of his parents. It is not an easy situation. And I am sure his grandparents will play along and also support him as soon as they get to know the child better. I have never met grandparents who can resist a baby's smile.
Are they closer to him than you (geographically) ?. That would be a great help (e.g. occasional babysitting).
BTW, he's not THAT young at 20.

Yes, it's better not to post private addresses or email on here. There is no need for it either. Anyone who wishes to write a few words to encourage Andy can PM you, and you can forward that to him.

But the best in the long run would be, I believe, if Andy comes to the Forum himself, eventually.
He needs more than a few words of encouragement, he needs to see how he is part of a group of people, almost a virtual community on this web site, who all have their own story, and manage to deal with it, just like he does. All Single Parents.
That is up to him of course.

That is great Andysmamaw. I am glad that court went your son's way. I am still hoping for that for my boyfriend. the children's lawyer had it in his favour but the person with temporary custody wouldn't agree so that have to go to court.

YES! WE WANT ANDY!

Single father one girl 11 joint non-custodial here Andy. You've done a heck of a job. Up here, 6mos with and 6 without is an achievment. You're doing better than average. I honestly don't know if I could have done it at that distance. A tip of the hat and a pat on the back to you sir!

I can see where Andy gets that "determination" of taking responsibility for his actions and doing the right thing. He is going to make such a great father because you seem to have made a great example as a mother. Way to go and keep it up! Your grandchild will appreciate it later on too.

To Andy: Kudos to you for being a loving father and STAYING involved in your child's life. Good luck with everything you do!

Hi Andysmamaw,
If you want me to send a card PM me with his address. Getting things in the mail is way better than an e-mail in my book anyday....It is the effort I will gladly put forth. You are an Awesome mom and I respect you for being there for your son and looking at all the positives instead of dwelling on the negativeness that is always there with the positive. The grandparents may never come around but at least your son has learned from you the importance of being there for a child. Send me that address and I will jump to it....Take care and Happy Holidays. Karen

If only more parents were like your son - standing up and admiting responsibility and most importantly wanting a relationship with his child, if only my ex would do the same with my son unfortunatley he wants nothing to do with him. As for Andy's grandparents they have their views it was a different time when they grew up and i know if my grandmother was alive today she'd have the same opinions and would have no hesitation in saying it to me as i had my child at twenty - but you know what if i could do it all again i wouldn't change a thing.

Defintitely, I would love to send him a card! Where in VA is he? I can see how very proud you are of your son, as I would be. Seems he gets his maturity honest and with good example. COngrats on the court ruling... that's a big hurdle to cross and he did it!

We would love to see Andy sign up here, it'd be a good place for him to get ideas, support, and perhaps some friends that will be able to relate to the singleparenthood. I remember your previous post about this and happy to see it work out they way it has.
I wish him the best.

sure send me a pm with the address and I will send him a card. I just think about how happy I ma when I get good mail and how much my daughter enjoys getting mail addressed to her so positive encouragement is not a problem.

I am praying that everything turns out good for you and your family, I would love to send your son some type of encouragement letter!. To have a truley supportive father in a childs life is essential and I wish him the best.

Hi All;
Thanks for the encouagement! I don't know what "PM" is, LOL! And how do I send private emails? No big deal, but my sons name is Jacob, my Grandboy is Andy! I'd like Jacob to sign up here... He doesn't own a computer & his hours make it hard... That's why I'm here. I've been accused of being an overprotective Mom. I AM a mom, but I've told Jacob he has to stand up & take responsibility; I am not raising this child for him. He's made his own choices & decisions. I'm real proud of hm. We were THRILLED Jacob got Andy for 6 months each year. Andys mom has 6 or 7 sisters, only one without a child (12 years old!!!), & no Daddys around. Jacob adores this Baby! They live in Norfolk, by the way... Can I post my email addy here? I'd be truly thankful if ya'll would send cards to him. I've told him about this site, but I think he's overwhelmed right now... THANK YOU!