Hi, I am a 21 year old who is about to be a new mother in december of 2005. Everything between me and my boyfriend were absolutely perfect til I told him I was pregnant. He already has a daugther who is almost two. But this is my first. He says that he is excited and happy but after I told him I didnt hear from him for three weeks and now he is said to be seeing another girl. So I just broke up with him cause I cannot be stressing myself out thinking and worrying all the time for the sake of the baby. But what should I expect when the baby comes does it get harder with the father out of the picture? Im just scared and excited all at the same time and I want to be a good mom not an emotional wreck like I have been lately. anyone with suggestions would be great. thank you for taking the time to listen.
Your friend

Welcome to SFV !
Well, you're certainly in for a bumpy ride ..but even if it's hard, very hard, it's 10000 times worth it.
Glad to have you here on the forum, and this is a great place to glean and give advice.
Dew

Welcome to the site. There are plenty of mothers/fathers that do alright without the other parent in the picture. Just as there are plenty that have issues created by the other parent that is involved but not worth a darn, and actually create problems. But we take what we have and do the best for our kids, as I'm sure you will as well. Don't worry too much about the unknowns, just be sure to take care of you and your baby. Best wishes

Hi! Welcome to the site! I agree with Don --parents without the other parent around do just fine. I am GLAD that my son's Dad is out of the picture as the man contributed NOTHING in a financial way and very little emotionally, etc -- on visits he used to like to talk about himself and his own life -- never even asked my son anything about his life! I know because I refused to let him see my son alone as he is very irresponsible so I used to go along on the visits -- yeah a torture time for me having to sit there and listen to that man yap on and on about himself and not even half listen to my son! It was my son who finally told me that he didn't want to see him anymore as he was "not like a real Daddy. He only cares about himself!" Smart kid as I NEVER once bad mouthed the man anywhere near my son. My son and I are very content not having the man in our lives and you will make it too -- it is better to not have the other half in the picture when they only cause stress in your life. Be happy and focus on you and your child. Keep smiling and I'll keep you in my prayers. :huggies:

Yeah, my EX has a daughter now with his ex wife and Its really hard cause I know that he is there for her and loves his daughter I just only hope that he will do the same once this baby is in the picture. But this is my first child and its scarry but I am more worried for the sake of the baby rather than me. I can always find a good man but the baby only has one biological father. It hurts. But thank all of you for your help. This site is the best, Its great to have such nice supportive people to talk to that can relate. :lovehearts:

Blood relation is not always the best dad. For a long time as I w as growing up my "real" dad was not there for me. My mom married a wonderful man who already had 3 daughters and he never once treated me like a "step" child, I was always treated just like his 3. So just because he is the biological father doesn't mean he is the best one out there. I have 2 children by 2 different men. My son's father and I were friends for years before we started dating and I got prenant. Ultimately he decided that he didn't want to be a father. I have a court date this month for child support, but I am really only going there to request that he signs over his parental rights so he will legally be out of our lives for good. My son is almost 5 and has NEVER seen his father or talked to him. I also have a daughter and I know without a doubt that her biological father would not be the best choice, because she was conceived as a result of her father raping me. We are doing great though, we live with family right now and the living conditions are a little more snug than I like, but I work and I am going to college so I can make a better future for my children. Just keep your head up and trust me you can do it. I won't say it's easy because it isn't but you can make it with or without him. The first time you hold that baby in your arms you will be filled with so much love that you won't even care if you have to share this beautiful little person with him or not. :huggies:

Welcom to SFV!!

Hey we're both due in December! I'm on December 24th the day before my 8yr son's b-day. Go figure March would have to be my fertily month!

Anyways it will be hard to raise a child on your own but I think it would even harder to be rasing two children (your new baby and the b/f) at the same time. I'm in a simliar sit. Babys daddy went all werid on me stayed out at bars every weekend and hung out with very youn girls lately. He is 32yrs and with 19yrs girls.

Anyways I just ditched my babys father and i'm still hurting but getting better. You can do it. Do you want to lose sleep over him running around b/c when that baby comes it's going to hard enough to get what sleep you can LOL

I wish the best

SPIRIT :huggies:

I am still hurt for making my wife leave my home but after this past Monday I am sure I made the right decision. Sometimes we don't know everything but sense something is wrong based on things we see or don't see. Same thing with me since I am human too, I saw things that were not right and finally made my wife leave. She was neglecting my children and she was suppose to be their primary caretaker since she was a stay at home mother. Police had to bring back my 1 year old because of her.

I thought she loved me, she told me so many times she did. I felt bad kicking her out knowing that I did love her, still do today. She didn't love me and that would later affect my children because of the friction her lies were causing. Monday I found her diary and she stated she was cheating on me already without being sexual, but she was planning on getting sexual and it was worth losing everything including the children. That was enough for me to know that my instincts were right. Some people never learn how right they are in their decisions because some people are liars to their core, then us nice people who are honest to our cores get walked all over because of our good nature. Don't feel bad about your decisions, there is probably a lot more going on behind your back you most likely will never know about. If he won't talk to you, it is because he was using you or lieing to you. No man should treat a woman like that and doesn't deserve to be a father with such corrupt morals. Woman are not tools for a man's pleasure, they are human beings who we are suppose to sope with and share our lives with. God created woman so man would never be alone again, some people forget that thinkings woman are tools and it is sad. I am sorry that most men are bad people, nice guys do exist and you will find one or two some day. Just don't let them go when you do find them.

Glenn

:welcome:

I have never been in your position exactly, tho I am a single Mom now... You have come to the right place for good advice and great support!

Yes, this place is great for advice and communicating with people that are going through the same thing I am. I am so glad I found this place.