Hey Rainman~

It is wonderful that you are so positive and ready to participate in your child's life. No chance of you two working things out?

You can do everything without having an attorney. There are forms and appointments necessary, and some small filing fee's.

As far as medicaid goes - I may be wrong but - you shouldn't have to pay her medical bills. It may depend on the state. In any case, it would only be a small portion and I think that would only happen if she gets an attorney.

I have listed a few websites that may be helpful to you. I assume everything will be filed in Delaware since that is where she lives.

Child Support Calculator
http://courts.delaware.gov/Support%20Calculator/

Child Visitation Guidelines
http://courts.delaware.gov/How%20To/Custody%20and%20Visitation/?visitation.htm

Court / Overview of Support, etc.
http://courts.delaware.gov/Courts/Family%20Court/

Good luck with everything and Congratulations!

Welcome to our board - We all love it here. Glad you have joined us!

MJ,
thanks for the info!
im hoping everything will work out. i dont think i have to worry about her being "MEAN" or difficult per say, but i just want everything in writing like i said before.

Hi rainman99,

A little late in posting been trying to keep up on my life. Now I've caught up some what I am able to check out the board. Anyways WELCOME TO SFV!!

Wow! What a spot you're in. My pregnancy was not planned w/this 2nd child and had hoped the father would react like you did. I think it's best to be there for every app. you can and be there for the birth of your child. That is something you can never replaced no matter how many kids you have.

You seem like a good dad that is willing to try to be a part of this babys life. I hope you keep this postive additude and she will allow you to be a part of it's life.

Who knows maybe she will work her things out and decied to make a life w/you and your baby.

GOOD LUCK

SPIRIT

Hi rainman99~

Congrats on the baby!!
You will be a great father and a dad whether you are with the mom or not stay postive and she will respect you for that. Stay in your childs life as much as possible and you will be given great things that are not measurable in quanity or dollar amounts but in moments and memories.!!!

Good Luck
Jessie

Because it sounds as if you and your ex are willing to work things out. The easiest method would be to obtain a child custody packet (contains petition, affidavit and judgment for custody) from the courthouse in which you live. The packet will contain all the forms and documents you need and you and your ex can fill them out together. These packets generally include all aspects of child custody including support payments, visitation, insurance coverage, and type of custody (full or joint). If you are able to come to an agreement with your ex on these issues and have completed the documents together then you can file your paperwork with the court. There is usually a filing fee for such documents, you may want to discuss splitting the cost of filing with your ex since it can sometimes be expensive. One or both of you will need to appear in front of a Judge to have the paperwork signed. Be prepared also to have your documents notorized, this is usually free and most court staff are notory republics and can do this for you.

If you and your ex are able to work out these issues on your own, you may be able to avoid a mediator all together. The process is really not very difficult if your both in agreement on the issues at hand. It does not generally take more than a day or so to have a Judge finalize your documents.

just to update everyone.. she never calls me at all and when she does she only talks to me for like 2 mintues.
everytime i talk to her a argument always ensues.
i just wanna be happy and raise my child but she is proving to be very DIFFICULT! i am not involved in the pregnancy at all, she won't let me be in the room when the baby's born, because that would "stress her out".
when i try to email her to ask her some things, she says "I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP" meaning the almighty dollar.
she thinks that I SHOULD support her financially throught the pregnancy. it's bad enough that im only going to get to see my son or daughter every other weekend. and she wants to beg me for money now. im not giving her a cent until after the baby is born.
it's not my problem that she has a 493 a month car note. to me, that's just plain STUPID!
she's older than me, she should have better sense than paying that much a month for a car!
this is going to be a long, drawn out process.
i believe now she just USED Me to get pregnant.
im glad that we have courts in america, because when people act like ***holes, someone has to be able to step in and decide what is fair.
sorry just had to vent.

Rainman,
You are the rare one. You hear so many women complain, I just want him there for the ultrasound, I don't want to date him again, I don't even want the child support, just for him to be there, to see the baby.

Check with the state, but I don't think there is any requirment that you support her thru the pregnancy. If you weren't providing financial support to her before the pregnancy, i.e. living together, common law marriage, there should be no requirement that you provide financial help to her now.

You can't dwell in what she should be doing. She's not going to live by those rules. She's pregnant, probably having mood swings. She's realizing how big this is. She's probably very worried about how she's going to support this child once it's born. Even with child support from you, her bills are going to be bad. And the medical expenses, I'm sure she's terribly worried about it. No, that doesn't give her a liscince to bash you. Never does! You didn't automatically become the emotional punching bag when she got pregnant. But, understand where she's coming from. Might help you not get so frustrated by it.

She's going to continue emotionally punching you. Be prepared for it. Expect the worse, then you can enjoy anything that's less than that. Be at the hospital when the baby comes, but expect that she won't let you in the room. PUt measures in place in case you think she'll fail to call you.

I wish you the best. You're doing good so far. You are doing very good. Just keep it up.