Hello, I am looking for some advise. i am 27. I have been dating what I thought was the perfect women!! She is now 4 months along. She wants nothing to do with me anymore, and wont let me go to any of the doctor stuff with her. we talked last night for the first time in two weeks. She openly told me she wants nothing to do with the child and wants to give it up for adoption. I am scared/excited and VERY confused. lookig for some experance guidence....lost in central WI

Hello, welcome to the forum.
Not sure what you are trying to find out. Are you thinking of keeping the child yourself? As long as paternity is established you would have to give your consent to allow adoption, so getting custody shouldn't be hard at all.

what does give your consent to allow adaption mean??

What it means is that paternity will/must be established and that will give you rights. If you are considered the father, then you must allow (or deny) any adoption procedures. It will also obligate you to support for the child.

I am just really scared....is there any one out there that went/is going through the same thing? I moved from my home town (where my family is) to be down by her. Now it's over, we are expecting, she want my out of her life/hates me....and I want a chance to do what is right....

I became a single father at 14, when my daughter's mother told me she wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. So yeah, I've been through the same thing. It's scary..the scariest feeling ever..but you just have to do what you feel is right. If you want to keep your child, do it. It won't be easy all the time but it's the most rewarding thing in the world.
Take your time, come to a decision. There's a lot to consider and hopefully you can be at peace with whatever you decide in the end.

I don�t know if it is relevant for your situation, but the first few months of pregnancy mothers can have extreme moods due to hormones, and don�t count on what she says now being the same in two months time. I am really sorry that you are going through this If you are considering going for custody yourself, I would suggest getting some legal advice to make sure that you do all the right things.

Thanks to all who are out there....your advise and thought are being listened too...
She is three months into it....and she is 18 yrs old.... I want to keep the child, she wants adaption. SHe told me last night not to talk too her until I change my mind. i cant be involved in the doctor stuff at all, name selection, everything.....help

I don't believe that there is too much you can do about some of that since you weren't married. Your hands may be pretty well tied until after the baby is born and a paternity test is done.
Really as Zealand suggested, it would be a good idea to check into some legal advice, at least a consultation to find out what you will need to do depending on what you would like to see happen.

All of the advise given has been wonderful, and mostly the legal advise you should seek because it varies from state to state. If you want your baby you can gain custody it may take a while because the mother is not cooperating, in GA we have a paternity list where if you believe you are the father you add you name to this list and they have to notifiy you before she can allow the child to be adopted out so that you can have a paternity test done to see if you are indeed the father. then you have to become legitimized as the father and you have every right she does from there, she can notadopt out your child without your consent. Even if she has the child and you do not know about it there has to be a add run in the newpaper asking for the father to come forward. As was said before though woman that are pregnant are MOODY!!!! Trust me I remember, they swing back and forth and really aren't too rational. She may come around and then again she may not either way do not trust her if you want this child you need to make preparations, in the end the choice is yours but i know this being a parent is the greatest experience you'll ever know! Honestly it sounds like to me that she is mostly just scared and wants to eliminate the problem, which means the child. The only other thing I might ask you is do you know that you are the father?

I'm pretty familar with WI custody laws. I was researching this when my ex's ex claimed her 4-year-old was his and she never told him she was even pregnant.

What should a father do if the mother or her family does not want him around?
If a man believes he is the child's father, it is his right and responsibility to establish paternity. That is true even if the mother or her family does not want him around. The child support agency may be able to help him with the process of establishing paternity, or he may hire an attorney.

http://www.dwd.state.wi.us/bcs/paternity.htm

I'd contact your county child support office now and if she refuses to let you be part of the childs life she will be forced to a paternity test to prove you are the father once the child is born. She will not be able to give the child up for adoption without your consent as adoption is a legal agreement. The most important part is that you initiate the paternity testing NOW so that she cannot do this without your permission. Good luck!!

I can say she is definitely scared and confused!! I was in her exact shoes up until I was about 5 months along. I went as far as to tell the father to be he wasn't the daddy of this baby just so that he wouldn't feel bad that I wasn't going to keep the baby. He fought real hard to make me see he wanted this child. Once I decided to have it I went back and forth with “can I really care for this baby or should I let another family do it?” I didn't want to just give him the baby because I didn't think he was a stable enough person to be so responsible for it. I still have my doubts about how this is all going to work out.

Please reassure her that you are going to be a responsible father and she won't be alone in raising this baby. Maybe all she needs is to "see" you fight for her and this baby. And when I say fight I don’t mean cause anymore stress in her life than she’s already got…. I just mean don’t let a day go by you don’t let her know, sincerely, you want your baby and reminder herthat she can do this and will be a great mother.