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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 20 - Something Single Dads Stress anyone?|
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I am New to SFV |
I�m new to the forum and would like to say hello to all the other single dads around the country! I just have one issue I would like to address STRESS and how in the heck to deal with it. My situation is I�m young; 24 to be exact, and a single dad with NO help. I�m also a Police Officer a rookie on the night shift. My daughter is 6 working on 16. Ok so ya the night shift I work 12 hours 8pm to 8am then take my daughter to school at 815am, rush home go to sleep wake up at 2pm pick her up from school make dinner do homework watch buster on wqed hang out for a few get ready to go to work then start this cycle all over again. And all between this I have to pay bills, take care of the house. And god forbid a doctors appointment (no sleep for 24 to 48 hours in these situation). Lately and only lately I have felt like I�m going to explode. I was wondering how some of you guys handle this because I�m usually able to handle a lot but lately I feel like im beginning to break down.
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
youth has nothing to do with it, I am 47 and sometimes want to explode. I will say this, your going to have to work out a way to sleep or your going to be in trouble. You don't exactly have the kind of job I would want to be tired on. it does get better when they are older, a little.
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
Oh and welcome
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Wow dude, what a schedule you keep, Id be stressed out too, but keep yuor chin up, you wont be a rookie forever...and by the way I love coffee.....
Im 28, a single dad (just over a year since the split), so I identify with the feeling of going to explode.... I kinda think of dealing with the grind like a marathon....No matter how mentally and physically strong you are, working as hard as single parents must, you get tired out...Your body and your mind need rest...It can be nearly impossible to find time to just relax, especially in a situation like yours, sounds like you take on more than your fair share, and that is commendable...Im fortunate in that respect as I share placement of my 2 year old daughter, Id take her full time if I had to, I can only imagine the challenges that would present.... Make sure you pop in here from time to time, I've only recently started posting on this forum, but Ive been a member for some time now, many days it just helps to read what others have to say to remind myself that I am not as alone as I may feel.... |
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On the Board |
Hi and welcome to SFV. I don't envy you your schedule but must say I'm envious of your age...lol! (I'm going to be 47 this yr.)
I found a great website for stress management that helped me out: http://www.davidposen.com/ Since you're on night shift do you drink alot of caffeinated beverages to stay awake? David Possen suggests on his site to decrease caffeine intake to reduce stress. Now I'm not usually a joiner but I cut my caffeine intake by half and it reduced my stress levels by 80%. It also helped me to have better quality sleep albeit only 5-6 hrs/night but at least it was quality sleep not quantity that counted in my case. Can't hurt to try a simple reduction of caffeine intake to see if you get the desired results. Another important point to reduce stress is exercise and the endorphin release. As a police officer I'm assuming that you already have to keep yourself fit. But exercise from the perspective of exercising for fun, i.e. with your daughter say, could also help to reduce stress levels. I now call my house "baby boot camp" since I make sure we get 2-3 hours of fun exercise everyday. I wish you well and hope your work schedule will change for the better soon. |
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"Parent on Board" Board Blazen Parent |
Welcome!! Stress...wow, do I know the meaning of that word!! I'm a 23 year old single mom with a daughter who's 2 going on 13. I also have no help. I'm a full time student and I work full time, as well. My stress release? Working out!! If I can't make it to the gym, I put in a Tae Bo video and work out for no less than an hour every day. I usually do that right after I put my daughter in bed, then I'm able to sit down and concentrate on my homework and studying. I probably run on 3-4 hours of sleep a night and fuel myself with coffee every morning... I embrace my stresses because they help keep me focused all day.
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I am New to SFV |
Yes I do I probally drink 60 ounces of coffee in a night 3 of those 20 ounce cups. but I need to stay alert amd with having to come home and raise my kid slowing down on the caaffiene is not a option lol. I do get to work out 3 days a week, its not as much as id like to but atleast I do something. Things I know will get easier and I am just looking forward to it. Things such as reliable in-expensive childcare are hard to come by. But I will get through I.m not worried just dealing with the present is the issue... Thanks for all the great replys ands its cool to know other people in hard situations are out there to. |
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"Moderator Proud father/grandfather" SFV JUNKIE!!! |
Welcome to the group coffee dude
My stress relief is on two wheels in my garage, and was caked in mud on Saturday  Seriouly, I think stress snuck up on me last year, gut pain that never could be explained by all the tests that were ran, well upon picking up a dormant hobby I've been feeling good again. All I'm really saying is as time consuming as our careers are and raising kids etc. don't forget to do something for you on occasion....it's important.Oh and, be careful out there. |
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I am New to SFV |
Hi,
like to know more about you. I am Mss Rosa Jean Morlan. Thanks |
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I am New to SFV |
I know how you're feeling though can;t offer any specific advice for you at the moment (still learning myself..) I just read an article on test your stress levels and guess what..? Apparently I'm "about to have a nervous breakdown" Huh - Tell me about it! Sounds like you're heading the same way babe. Had a chat this afternoon with aunt, who is my source of support since she suffered stress hersolf. Do you have anyone you can talk to? It's really important to break the cycle once in a while. I agree with Don that we need to do something for ourselves and yes - it's very important. Take a couple of days off perhaps? I worked myselkf into the ground last year and ended up having a breakdown by August. Not good. But I took some time out with my little one and a little time to myself (by driving her across the country so my parents could look after her) and had some 'me' time. It helped. Take care of yourself so you can take care of you both. Always here f you need to stress. K.
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Board Member |
i can only imagine how you feel, i have twins on the way, and although my ex will be there to help im the bread winner. im stressed already. i hope things start to slow down a lil for you.
best wishes Twins, Emery & Isabella, Nov 2 2007 |
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"KARMA? What is that anyways?" Board Beacon Parent |
I can only say wow i know how you feel. Im a single 25 year old father of three and between work and home i go through about 2-3 pots of coffee a day to help me stay up long enough to get every thing done that needs done. as far as stress it will always be stressfull when there is no one to help. ways to deal with it would be any chance you have find something to do that you like to keep you busy when your kid is sleeping **** as an art project or reading a book.
    "I find an insignificant satisfaction in sitting on my television and watching my couch! Dallas Blair http://www.myspace.com/dallasblair Lost in Washington state in the rain DISCLAIMER This is my personal opinion. Please take it as such! If i have offened you in any way please feel free to email me and tell me all about it me at idontgiveArats455@sowhat.com |
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On the Board |
I hear your pain!! I am also 24, single mother of a 7 year old boy... He keeps me going and going.... Sometimes I feel like I never get a minute!! But hey itsn't it worth knowing that beautiful child of your thinks the world of you....she needs her daddy, and that is a special feeling knowing that you can and do take care of her in every way! Try and slip a little time in your scedule "somewhere" to break free... even if only for a half hour.. anything will help.   Psalm 73:25 "Whom have I in Heaven but YOU? And Earth has Nothing I desire besides YOU." |
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I am New to SFV |
Yes, very tight schedule. I'm in a similar situation. I have a son who is two, single momma at 28. I work full time, go to school part time. There is no help from his father. He has disappeared.. I get up early, take my son to my parents, pick him up and go home to make dinner, then to the grocery store, if I'm lucky, we play for a while, maybe go to the park, give him a bath, put him down by 9:00pm, then I start my homework. I'm up until about may 2 or 3 in the morning. Then I do it all over again! Let's just say that coffee is my favorite food!
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I am New to SFV |
im a single mom of not one but 2 kids that are 7 years apart. let me tell ya i cant even take 5 min with out some kind of aurgument breaking out 3 yr olds can definatly egg on a 10 yr all i can say is take the little moments to do deep breaths don't hipervenelate lol and sleep when u can oh and try to get days it's helped a lot i can now see my kids a lot and get if not a full night most of one good luck
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