hello to all...new the this site just wondering if i'm crazy or not.....

i've been divorce offically for about 3 months now but have been separated from my wife of only 1 year and a 1/2 for about the same amount of time....she was my first real relationship loved her very much never cheated or ever thought of doing it to her i was always there for her despite some of the crazy things she did to us ie: my son and i......over this time of being alone and single of tried to make myself move on but to no success i've come to the conclusion that if i got into another relationship it would be to make her jealous but she wouldn't care she would be happy for me so there is no want for that i still have very strong feelings for her and i'm affriad of losing her to someone else even though i know it might happen anytime, she still depends on me very much when the going gets tough for her i'm always there to catch her when she falls which may add to my misery, but i love her and my son with everything that i have inside and i believe in my heart i have to be here for her and Hope for something that may not ever happen.

she tells me constantly that she has no more feelings for me and doesn't want to be with me but i am always the 1st person she gives the sob story to when it looks like curtains for her and i love her very much and it would kill me more to stand by and do the right hting which is let her fall.....i care for my boy since the day i found out about him i was scared but never turned my back on them.....which she has done at times when our life became to hard......

so i guess the point would be how can i get over this feeling of Hope...? when she says there's nothing to Hope for.....

Let me first say welcome. I am new here also. To answer a part of your question, it is hard to let go. Maybe she does not want to have the relationship that once was, but wants to hold on to the friendship she had and has. I don't know if that helps you at all, sorry.

A piece of advice i've learned is this: when somebody shows or tells you who they really are the first time, BELIEVE THEM!

quote:

Originally posted by Butterfly99:
Let me first say welcome. I am new here also. To answer a part of your question, it is hard to let go. Maybe she does not want to have the relationship that once was, but wants to hold on to the friendship she had and has. I don't know if that helps you at all, sorry.

Yeah i do believe that cause at one point during our mediation that we had to do for our divorce we had a moment where she did say that she did still want to be my friend and she didnt hate me she just didn't have those feels for me or anyone right now which led me to think she needs to be alone but i'm affraid that when the time come for her again it wont be me........

quote:

Originally posted by Karoliina239:
A piece of advice i've learned is this: when somebody shows or tells you who they really are the first time, BELIEVE THEM!

yeah but thats not who she was when we first met and thats not the person she was even before we started going out

Welcome to the Site! First, I can really relate. So know you're not alone. I was a very dedicated wife, stay at home mom. He left me, I did all I could to keep peace. He's just psycho and I finally hired a lawyer and now it's in court. My only advice is that one day I looked in the mirror and said "I deserve more than this". I want someone to want and love me like I do them. I'd rather be alone then settle again. THinking of you!

thank you!!!! well and year and a half later i dont get as depressed about it as i do in the begining i used to be so bad it was hard to even wake up in the morning but with a 2 and a 1/2 yr old screaming for you will get you out of bed.......alot of the advise i get from friends and family is excatly what you just told me........do you want some body who will always love you and be there for you no matter what......and yes i did and i had it......and i'm trying not to lose hope but sometimes it feels like i already have........

i am new to this site and i read your post...
i can really relate to some of the feelings you shared...despite many wrong things my ex has done to me and my two kids, i still have lingering feelings for him...it's hard but i know he is a toxic person to me. maybe we can chat sometime if you want.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by my sunshine and joy:
i am new to this site and i read your post...
i can really relate to some of the feelings you shared...despite many wrong things my ex has done to me and my two kids, i still have lingering feelings for him...it's hard but i know he is a toxic person to me. maybe we can chat sometime if you want.[/QUOT

i have the feels there for her still and sometimes after i get past the sadness of not having her no more i think back to all the times and things she put me through but i'm just an optomistic person when it comes to many things and my parents went through alot when we were growing up and my mom gave me the best advise when the ex and i where having troubles and she said "after all the tupid fights and arguments that your father and i had, i knew in my heart to could never live without him".....and thats how i still feel sometimes to this day even though we went through alot of stupid things its all part of growing and i guess i just grew up faster than she did and i feel in my heart alot of the time i can't live with out her i wake up and do my reutine everyday because i have to i have my son and i can't give up and she still hasn't grown up yet someone is always there to rescue her if it's not me its her mom who is never around, or her dad who will be there when he can......the only one thats always been there for her is me and that was not enough for her......

i understand what you mean...my ex has not fully grown up yet either, he has his good moments where i think he's finally getting on track but then he does something stupid to mess things up again...i too have the feeling that despite all the stupid things we've been through him and i were meant to be together, our lives always end up leading back to each other...who knows? sometimes when you're there for someone so much, it prolongs their learning to take care of themselves so i think that is why it is never enough b/c until that person learns how to do things on their own, it will never be enough no matter how much we try (i hope i said that right and that it made sense)
for now i just stay strong for myself and my kids, he's gotta figure things out on his own now and hopefully we could one day move past all this and be together but till then i have to be strong for my kids
thx so much for sharing with me, it really helps to have this forum to share with other people, it feels less lonely

your welcome thank you as well i know after a long time even talking about it and letting it out sometimes makes me feel a little better.....but yeah your right i'm just hoping still to this day a year and a 1/2 later i'm not totally giving up i'm just waiting......i'm a dad to my son trying to show him the right things in life trying to be a good role model for him and i pray that he grows up a good person and helps the people he loves no matter what