Does this get any easier? I was just served with divorce papers and thought I was doing fine...WRONG! All my anger for the last 4 months has been replaced with sadness as I pack up to move out of our home that I can't afford and move in with my mom at the age of 30..uggh! I am at my lowest point and the last people I want to hear from are my married friends. I don't want to hear how perfect their lives are, all the money they have..blah blah blah and I don't want their pity which is all I seem to get from them. I know that sounds terrible but my nerves are just on edge and I don't want to talk to any of them. I feel bad alienating them but it's just hard. Is this normal?

Heck yeah....

I am the last of the few in that realm. I don't envy most of them. One is forever finding out that her husband is cheating, but feels inclined to sit on the phone and rationalize all of his ridiculous excuses for getting caught again..... One is terribly miserable with her marriage. One that was thinking about getting married had her boyfriend arrested under false charges, and now she is going through the system for filing a false police report. One envies me for being single and able to do my own thing like, her words, "pay a bill"...yikessssssssss that one was the slap in the face.

I've looked beyond the, "why not me" phase of my life. If marriage ever happens for me again. It will have to creep up on me...

Love

I certainly do not blame you! I myself have avoided "friends' like that- who are either in relationshipd where they are constantly arguing ot fighting with their b/f, g/f, or spouse, and I get tired of hearing their complaining. On the other hand, there are people who cannot wait to brag constantly about what they have or what they are getting. So instead of listening to them I avoid them. Your not alone.

I have one married friend that I speak to, and she is such a horrible person to talk to about anything most of the time. I love her, and she's my girl - but she's constantly up and down with her marraige. One day she's ready to leave him and take her daughter to her mother's; the next, she doesn't understand why everyone thinks she should leave - he's not really that bad and she's willing to fight for her marraige.

I hate to say that I avoid her, but I do. We are down to reading each others web blogs at this point. She used to be my best friend.

I am new to this forum but I have lots of things I want to discuss that my married friends, un-married friends, and family don't seem to understand. I am pregnant for the first time at 32. The father is not going to participate, although we had a reasonable decent relationship prior to this happening. I am also moving in with my parents. My social life has come to an end as I know it, and I spend a lot of time feeling fairly isolated. So I can really identify with how you are feeling and yes, I think it's perfectly normal to have these feelings. What we decide to do with them is an entirely different story, though.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much this board has helped me in the few short weeks that I have been a member. You guys address all of the issues that I have.

I too find myself "ignoring" or withdrawling from my married friends. Dont get me wrong, I am happy for them... but, at the same time, I feel as if I dont have as much in common with them as I did before. Life took another path for me.. I cannot compare myself to them, because I choose to be a single parent. I know the struggles, and I live it everyday.. but, I would not trade my life for theirs.... to be in an unhappy, loveless relationship... constantly fighting over whatever their issue is(thats how my friends are at least)

I may be lonely, but at least thats all that I have to contend with. I kicked my daughters father out two years ago because I dont want to be like my married friends. My daughters father and I werent married, and I knew I didnt want to marry him.. so, I decided to quit living a lie to benefit everyone else, and just get on with my life, for ME. And, it has made me a better person, and a better parent for my daughter.

I sometimes feel that my married friends bring me down (emotionally) they may not mean to, but the questions they ask, and little inuendos that they make are unsettling. I get off the phone with them, and its like.... wait a second, before I got on the phone, I was happy w my life... and now.....

So.. I do understand where you are coming from, and know that you are not alone...

Update...one of my last best friends have jumped the broom. Yeah, it's official, I am the last person to be without a husband......lolllllllll, I can truly laugh about it because I know, I don't want a husband, I want a marriage (with all the details included)

My girl got married October 5, 2004.....

I am happy for her, really!!!!

Hi noahsmyluvbug,
You're having a tough time right now. I know it is hard to do what you're doing..I've been there. You also are feeling the pain more now because of having to depend on your parents for a place to live. That bites. All I can say is yes, it does get easier. It might take a little while but it does. Sometimes it is best to avoid friends for some time until you feel better with your own thoughts. There is nothing wrong with that. I am just like that. When I have something to grieve for, it is usually my style to do it alone when/where I can think. I completely understand where you are coming from and it is normal.

I'm finding more and more women are finding it easier to be alone and free of a partner. Personally, I think it is easier, not only financially, but the stress is lower because you don't have to feel like you need to accomodate someone else's needs. Whichever way it is for you, the feelings you have now will go away and it will get better. I hope you continue to find this board a place to come and vent and share your thoughts. You are not alone. Take it slow. Karen

I still hang around some of my married friends. Its been two years since I left "hell". All of my married (woman) friends tell me that if they were to leave their relationships, they would not remarry again. I dont mind seeing them. I am reminded that I do not have to answer to anyone but me. If I want to go out, I just have to find a babysitter. I've done alright for myself, and my child. BTW I was never married, although had 2 significant relationships that were like marriage, but no paperwork. Also, no divorce to go through. If I ever do get married, there are some pretty tough requirements, and I wont settle until I know these are met. I think for my daughter first these days.