Hi all. Ive read some of the forum and it is amazing how I realize that I am not alone. My husband left my son and I just over a week ago. He said he felt he was falling out of love with me, then within the hour he was gone. No discussion, nothing. My son talks to him every night before bed (he's 5). But what really kills me is when my son looked at me and said, and I quote "We're not a family anymore". I just about died right there.
I cant believe that my husband, who always said i was his best friend could do this. He just walked away. He took no responsibility with him at all. Its all on my shoulders. EVERYTHING. And Im furious with him. Its all Ive been able to do for the past week since he left to keep it together for my son. Its so hard and I feel so alone right now. I don't have any family near by. I am just am so lost.

Go to the doctor's and get see if there is some help. My doctor helped me out tons. When my ex first left I didn't tell anybody for a month. Don't ask how I kept it a secret, but I did. Nobody knew. Except my doctor. I had such knots in my back I was on muscle relaxers, on sleeping pills, the whole nine yards. Saw a counselor for a few months.

Get your son the book Dinosaurs Divorce. It hurt so bad the first time I read that book. It was healing for me though. It gave me child friendly words to discuss our situation with my children. It gave my kids a sense of security. Mine are 4 and 5. It kind of scared them to read the book because it discussed change in their life. But now that is their bible. So far, alot of things in the book have happened to them. It's given them a road map to how their life is going to go. That sense of direction helped stablize them tremendously.

Mine sprung it on me out of the blue. Actually told me while he was going pee, and I was bathing the children. I know what it's like to be blind sided.

Hi, regardless of what you are thinking or feeling, know that it is not you or your son's fault that this jerk left. I do know that people can fall out of love but in many situations, talking about it or counselling can be a way of dealing with it. Obviously, he was too immature to deal with his emotions. You may never find all the answers as to why he left and over time, you will feel stronger again. I know it's hard to explain things to your son, just remember to take care of yourself and also don't forget, you got the best part of him.

Hi Jog,
I'd love to welcome you...but at the same time I'm sad that you feel you have to be here...because of your circumstances.

My Wife....pretty much did the same to me....I, and countless others here can retell similar, stories, feelings, anger and fears.

Listen to the people here and take their advice...this is a place for healing, for help, for crying out, sometimes screaming at the top of your lungs in anquish over situations. There is also laughter, comradery, wisdom and joy.

You can get past this ...we all have or are continuing through similar circumstances.

Hang in there...and wait for the responses of the great people of this forum.

Praying for you and your little boy.

For what is worth,
Welcome to the forum.

I have a five year old son and for the first time since I had him, I will have to raise him alone and I'm terrified. I don't know how I'm suppose to pay rent and childcare and get him to and from school. But I know other people have done it, I just don't know how I'm going to do it. I make 30 - 45 K and live in the bay area. I don't have an apartment yet, but I have to get one by the first. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It may seem imposible to do all the things you need to do with your child right now but it is not. As you read up in these forum you will witness many people around here have gone through the same thing you are going through and have been able to pull it off.

Check with your local assistance programs in your city and county.

BTW

Sometimes we have to look into ourselves and see if we really did everything to keep our partners with us, I know it's a lot easier to blame the other person but that's not always the case.

i too know that feeling all to well,ive been there. he left me with three young kids. its been 2.5 years with no contact at all. they never even got to say goodbye to there dad. hes gone and wants nothing to do with them. he has no responsibility for them and thats the way he likes it. my advice would be to lean on family and friends let them help. dont be afraid to cry either, i found the shower was a great place cause the kids couldn't hear me then.the most important thing is never say degrading things around the kid about his dad, it makes you look like the bad guy, and theres times you will want to believe me. i hope things wil start geting better for you soon.

what a heartbreaking situation. I think everyone has given wonderful advice. You should also look into child support right away, don't let that slip by, he is still responsible for something.

Other than that, my heart goes out to you and welcome to SFV!

my goodness that is heartwhrenching. My son is 6 and when my ex and I split I talked with him open and honestly about things. Everyone kept telling me that I should not be so frank with him since he was only 6...but I have a rocket scientist for a 6 year old. We talk openly and he has adjusted very well. Because of that my younger son has also. It is hard but it is doable. Check out your State site and see what they offer for programs. Also I called my employees EAP program and they offer some counseling and other help Good luck and if you need to talk PM me