Hi everyone, I am new here and hope to meet some great people. I am a single mother of two, recently divorced. I have been dating a guy for a while now and recently found out that I am pregnant. For a few days the father was excited, and then all of a sudden decided that he didnt know what he wants and needs some time away. He hasnt spoken to me for a couple weeks now, although I did have some complications that landed me in the ER and he came to the hospital and then the doctors the next day. I am not sure if he is just overwhelmed with the whole situation,(his first child/never married) or if he really doesnt want the baby or our relationship. So needless to say my life has been an emotional rollercoaster the past couple weeks, on top of the complications and morning sickness to boot. If anyone has any thoughts on my situation whether good or bad , i would love to hear them. Thanks for your time.
Dakotarose. :thanks:

Hey, welcome on board Dakotarose. Great place, been here about a week and it's been an enormous help. Great folks here, you'll get all the emotional support you can handle.

Anyhoo, guys point of view; is he clear what you do or do not from him. That might help him make up his mind.

Like your screenname also, pretty cool.

Also wanted to welcome you. Rest assured there are plenty of ladies that should be along here as well

I think it's a good sign that he did go to the hospital and the doc's the next day. Could be that he's just a little overwhelmed with it being his first child.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll get some of the ladies responding as well.

Dakotarose~

First, let me say welcome & that's a very lovely screen name.

It sounds like you might need to give yer guy some time to let things sink in. Try to give him a bit of space, and focus on taking care of yourself.

I agree that it's a good sign he came to the hospital & doctors office (shows he cares) and maybe he just needs time. Try not to pin him down about the future for a little bit ... and maybe he will come around on his own.

Are you hoping to get married to him? How does he get along with your other two children?

This is a wonderful place for support and advice - I'm sure you'll get a great deal of both.

Welcome Dakotarose and hope u find this site helpful as I am sure it will be. I say as the others have already said, give him his space w/no pressures. I would let him know how you feel and maybe what you expect and do not expect from him. Good luck!

gee don, you know us too well we just cant keep quiet welcome Dakota and no you arent alone-single and almost 38 weeks along here. we dont always have the answers but we are here to listen and give advice when we can no matter how unsolicited it is. so feel free to vent and say whats on your mind youll be suprised when you see how many of us are pregnant and alone.

Binarian,
Thank you so much for the reply to my post. I think that I have made it clear to him what i want/dont want. Although after your advice I think that I may do that again. Maybe I didnt come across clearly the first time. I dont want him to feel pressured in any way.
Also..the screen name comes from my kids...dakota is my sons name and rose is my daughters middle name. ..thanks for the compliment.
Dakotarose

quote:

Originally posted by binarian:
[qb] Hey, welcome on board Dakotarose. Great place, been here about a week and it's been an enormous help. Great folks here, you'll get all the emotional support you can handle.

Anyhoo, guys point of view; is he clear what you do or do not from him. That might help him make up his mind.

Like your screenname also, pretty cool. [/qb]

Don
Thank you for your reply. I hope that you are right about him just being overwhelmed and I really have thought myself that it could very well be the case here. I will give him time and see what happens. thanks again.
Dakotarose

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
[qb] Also wanted to welcome you. Rest assured there are plenty of ladies that should be along here as well

I think it's a good sign that he did go to the hospital and the doc's the next day. Could be that he's just a little overwhelmed with it being his first child.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll get some of the ladies responding as well. [/qb]

InnI,
Thanks, Dakota is my sons first name and rose is my daughters middle name.
I am really trying to give him time to let things sink in, although it isnt very easy.
I have put myself first though and the baby. I wont push him into anything.
As far as the marriage part, we have talked about it in the past but nothing definite..just talk. I wont marry him just for the baby though, it would have to be for the right reasons. He is GREAT with my other children, in fact I had the best stepfather growing up and he reminds me alot of him.
Thanks for your reply...I appreciate everyones advice.
Dakotarose.

quote:

Originally posted by InnI:
[qb] Dakotarose~

First, let me say welcome & that's a very lovely screen name.

It sounds like you might need to give yer guy some time to let things sink in. Try to give him a bit of space, and focus on taking care of yourself.

I agree that it's a good sign he came to the hospital & doctors office (shows he cares) and maybe he just needs time. Try not to pin him down about the future for a little bit ... and maybe he will come around on his own.

Are you hoping to get married to him? How does he get along with your other two children?

This is a wonderful place for support and advice - I'm sure you'll get a great deal of both. [/qb]

Laurie,
Thank you for your reply. I will be sure to take your advice and let him know my feelings and expectations. I have not contacted him and I am trying very hard to give him space.
Thanks again
Dakotarose

quote:

Originally posted by Laurie05:
[qb] Welcome Dakotarose and hope u find this site helpful as I am sure it will be. I say as the others have already said, give him his space w/no pressures. I would let him know how you feel and maybe what you expect and do not expect from him. Good luck! [/qb]

HMCR,
First of all, wow...38 weeks..almost there. Congrats.
thank you for your reply, and yes although there may not always be answers, everyones replies and advice have helped alot. lIke you said, somtimes you just need someone to hear you.
Best of luck in the next weeks with everything. Let me know when your new addition arrives.
Dakotarose

quote:

Originally posted by HMCR:
[qb] gee don, you know us too well we just cant keep quiet welcome Dakota and no you arent alone-single and almost 38 weeks along here. we dont always have the answers but we are here to listen and give advice when we can no matter how unsolicited it is. so feel free to vent and say whats on your mind youll be suprised when you see how many of us are pregnant and alone. [/qb]

It sounds all good to me. I am sure he is just trying to figure out what is happening and where he stands and where you stand. If he is so good with your children I'm betting he is thinking about them too. Take it slow, like you said you aren't going to marry him for anything less than life long love.....

Here's to a healthy pregnancy!

Hi Dakota:

Yeah, as a guy I admit we can be dense, you may very benefit from explaining expectations....again.

You replied to each post individually; now that's attention to detail : )

I've read over the post and it sounds like everyone had given you the same advice I would have. Maybe you should reclarify what you want from this whole experiends. If he feels the same way then he should stick around. The fact that he showed up at the hospital and going w/you on the doc's visits that's a good thing. My X won't even go w/me at all and I'm 27wks pregnate. Good luck to you. Hope things work out.

SPIRIT

PS Welcome to the board.