Hello all sorry for my first posting to be a scream! But anyway, I'm of course a single mom with a six year old girl and a four year old boy. I was their foster mom when me and my ex husband lived in MI. We later adopted them...and then later were divorced. I have custody and live in MO. Since my ex lives in MI they only see him over the summer and every other christmas. Anyway here is my problem...The children are taking over!!!! They don't listen to me...they talk back...yell...try to hit me...scream....throw fits...whine...kick and scream when they dont' get their way...but at school they're angels...when other people tell them what to do or re-enforce what I've told them THEN they listen. I'm ready to go running and screaming into the night...ANY advice would be welcome!!!

I am smiling remembering when my kids did the same thing. Actually to some degree they still have their moments, but of course now they are teenage moments. What kind of discipline do you use? I know we hate to use this tactic, but it is necessary to set boundaries. That being said, here is something to think about to give you comfort. I relied on it a lot when my kids were growing. I heard this from Dr. Brazelton, a pediatrician who use to have a show on TV. If you're children are behaving appropriately outside the home and are letting go with you, then they feel secure with you. Think about when we have a bad day. We behave ourselves in public and let ourselves vent at home. Sounds like your children may be doing the same. Maybe you can talk with them and let them know where the boundaries are when they need to let go, like absolutely no hitting or yelling. I told my daughters if they got real mad and felt like hitting something, to go to their bed and pound their pillow. When they were out of control with the yelling and tantrum, I would send them to their rooms, until we all calmed down. They usually came out on their own after regaining control of themselves.

Not sure if this is what you were looking for, but I hope it helps.

let each of them write down a list of things they love to do ( or love to eat ) etc. when when one acts up cross out one of the things one by one off of their list ,,,and do not give them the opportunity to regain it back until you decide don't debate it with them dont argue with them put the list where they can see it i.e the refrigerator just simply cross it off the list try that for about a week or two and see if you get results.

Teresa,
I have two kids, a five year old and a four year old. I use the Parenting with Love and Logic method. When my kids are really whiney, yelling and everything, I've got two tactics I throw at them. First, I tell them, you know, I can't understand you when you scream at me, but I'd be happy to listen when you can make your voice as soft as mine. And then I proceed to ignore them. Some days I just don't have the patience for that method. I'm too frazzled myself, and I've had it with it. The other method is asking them to pay me to put up with their bad behavior. I go in, Ian, you're yelling is hurting my ears. You've incurred a fine for that, and you are going to need to pay me. I understand you don't have money, but I do take toys in payment. I'll take your dump truck, your dinosaur, or something else. I then let him bring some toys, and when he's finally brought me some toys he really loves, then I'm satisfied. The downside here is he often goes and whines, and cries that these wonderful toys have been taken from him.

I've had alot of screaming about not getting their way. Today my daughter had a melt down that her brother was playing with a certain toy. Of course, we were in the car, and she sits behind me. So, she's screaming in my EAR about this. I finally pulled the car over, and turned around. She looked at me in shock. I explained to her, Iona, you are hurting my ears. I can't drive the car with you screaming like this. Now, you've got a choice, we can sit here while you scream, or you can be quiet while I drive home. Do you want to go home? Yes, she wanted to go home, so she shut up. Once we got out of the car, she immediatly went back to her screaming fit at her brother!

You're not alone. And like Net said, a certain amount of it is the release of being at home, being with their family. And then the rest of it, well you're going to have to figure out which method will work for you, or some combination of something to reign these kids back in. It's rough. I know. And I have days where I just end up screaming at the kids. Adding to the noise and confusion.

I like the time-out method at that age. You say you have a 6 yr old and a 4 yr old. Then you can sit them in the corner for 6 minutes and the other for 4 minutes. This is the funny part, if they are fighting between each other, sit them down in the middle of the room facing each other. If one continues to argue with the other during the time-out, add another minute on to it. My girls could only do it for like 3 minutes until one started making faces at the other and we all sat there laughing. Another fun punishment I used to do to them was when they were fighting with each other, I would send them to the others room. They used to HATE that one.

Kids get stressed out as much as parents do and sometimes they can feel when you are to that point. If the time-out method doesn't work, I agree to start taking things away. TV, computer, game system, stereo, or whatever else they like. Just remember if you send them to their room, they have stuff in there to keep them occupied with, take some of it away.