Tonight I lost my mind! In fairness though, my 10yr old son lost his first! My son calls me everyday after school while I'm at work to tell me about his day. Today when he called I had a surprise for him. I've been feeling guilty (so what else is new) about the amount of time I've been spending <not with him>. So I got us tickets to the Aquarium and planned a whole day of activity around him and what he likes to do. He was thrilled and I felt like a "RockStar". Later when I got home, I was outside talking to my neighbor so I told him to put the dishes that were in the sink into the dishwasher and start it while I was gone. I came back and got a phone call and needed to run to the store for a friend. So I took my son with me because I didn't know how long I would be gone. When I came back in obviously the dishwasher wasn't running. It was just after midnight and I decided to get some water. I went to the cabinet and there were no glasses. So I opened the dishwasher and there were no dishes there either. With a sinking feeling that I was about to explode I marched into my son's room and demanded he wake up. After about 20 mins of saying, "Don't lie to me" (something he does with such ease lately)...he finally confessed. He had thrown my dishes in the trash outside. I was so angry that I told him to pack his stuff, he was going to live with his father. Then to make matters worse I called his dad, who didn't answer the phone. Then I looked at my already emotionally upset little boy and said, "Fine your Dad doesn't want you and neither do I. Maybe I should just drop you off at the police station". Even as I said it I was sick to my stomach. What kind of person says that to her own child???? I feel like I'm failing him on all fronts and that my parenting skills suck. Is there hope, cause I'm desperate for it!

we all loose it at times, being a single parent is not the easyest thing on the planet to do, the important thing to do is make it right.

Hahahahahaaha!

MY KIDS HAVE DONE THAT!!!

And dont get me wrong...I've blown it too!!

The last time that happened was just about a month or so ago.

I went back to my daughter ...apologized ...assured her there was NO WHERE else in the world I would rather have her than with me. That I'm not perfect...I make mistakes....and that I Promise I WILL NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN. and if I did, to remember that I'm not perfect.

Now.....as mad as they make me.....I've "LEARNED" to laugh at stuff like that and it becomes a "family" joke.

If you dont have other people there...share the "CRAZY" thing with someone they see as family ... and also share the mistake you made...and what you did to correct the situation...and then go further and restate it to that person with your child there as well.

" And Mommy promised she will NEVER SAY ANYTHING like THAT again,...didnt I?" and give them a hug. Of course, they make act like they hate it...but they love it.

They especially love it...in front of their friends...LOL

Good luck...We've ALL SNAPPED a time or 2.

Amy and Mopaul are right. Everyone looses it once in a while. And you can make it right. But there are a few things that occured to me while reading your post. Are you working alot of evenings or afternoons? How much time are you actually spending with your son? Is there anything you can do about that? It may be that he was waiting for you to get home and then you were talking with the neighbor and running errands for friends and he got jealous. Of course throwing away the dishes was not the right thing to do, but kids often have these reactions without really knowing why.

In any case, you have some damage repair to do here, and fast. Before your son starts to believe he is not really wanted by you or his father. It sounds like you've got a pretty busy life. Believe me, I understand and I dont think you are a bad mom. You really could benefit from some therapy (as someone who is in therapy myself, I dont think that's a bad thing) and maybe your son could too.

Wow Paul...your kids have thrown your dishes in the trash? Lol...I've never even heard of that before.

I agree with Paul's approach to this: apologize and turn it into a lesson. People get mad and do/say things they don't mean. Your son is going to get mad in his life, and do/say things that he doesn't mean. This will be a good opportunity to show him the right way to make up for those mistakes, by your own example.

When you apologize, and assure him you didn't mean the things you said while you were angry, also be sure to let him know that you had every right to be angry. He might not understand what a big deal it is to have all of your dishes thrown away (did you get them back?), but he's gotta understand at 10yo that lying is wrong and going to get him into trouble. He also needs to understand that while you're going to try to control yourself when you get angry, he really is in control of the situation by not getting into trouble in the first place.

BTW - that's a heavy first post. Welcome to the site.

Later,
Bobby

quote:

Originally posted by BigBobby:
BTW - that's a heavy first post. Welcome to the site.

Later,
Bobby

OH Dangit!! Look at that ...Bobby showing everyone up again...LOL ...sorry.

Yes, Welcome to the forum.

Ahm jus playin Bobby.

quote:

Originally posted by BigBobby:
Wow Paul...your kids have thrown your dishes in the trash? Lol...I've never even heard of that before.

Oh yeah they have...they do crazy things....Hmmm let's see:

Canned goods in the bathroom. ( Well it is "the can" right?) LOL

Bologna in the cupboard.
Milk in the cupboard.
Milk out on the pation all night.
Spoons slowly disappearing then finding them all over the yard...not to mention forks.
Green beans in a Bud vase.
Fresh cheese in the Pot cupboard.
Ketchup in the freezer.
Bread in the freezer.
Butter DISH in the freezer.
A completely Dirty pot in the Pot Cupboard.
Loading dishwasher but not running it.
Loading dishwasher, running it with no soap.

I could go on and on....

Oh wait...forgot....the ultimate...finding mathbooks in the freezer or fridge. LOL

That got EVEN me! LOL

WE dont EVENNN wanna talk about laundry! LOL

quote:

Originally posted by paulj_in_phx:
Fresh cheese in the Pot cupboard.

Wow...I guess the marijuana laws are more relaxed in AZ than in MA?

HaHa. It took me a while to realize he wasn't talking about the marijuana cupboard. Geez, Paul, I thought you were a strict parent. LOL

And, yes, DOGA

Thanks to everyone for your replies! I appreciate all the feedback, advice and support. Today I woke up and know things need to change for me and my son. Hopefully this was the wake up call and the catalyst for change. I am going to seek counseling for us both!

quote:

Originally posted by missabb:
HaHa. It took me a while to realize he wasn't talking about the marijuana cupboard. Geez, Paul, I thought you were a strict parent. LOL

Well...he *is* awfully close to Mexico...

LOL, I kept going to the store and everytime would buy them big breakfast biskets, I kept wondering who the hell was eatting them because they was never in the frig, one day I opened the freezer and viola, there they all where. My eldest was stuffing them in there, had about a 2 week supply. What pissed me off was if I asked about them she lied and didn't have a clue.

DOGA-
girl, you'll make it through this. i soo totally relate to your situation. i recently moved to tucson, az to go to grad school...i know no one, i don't related to anyone in my department ("kids? what are those?" says the 20-something college student), i have zip for a support network, and i get SOOOOOO overwhelmed sometimes!!! life can really suck, especially when the darling offspring does something, like, say, spills melted candle wax alllll over the kitchen tile, and i have a 20 page paper due this week, the car isn't running, i have no one to pick her up after her b-ball game, and i'm lonely as all get-out. like paul says, "life doesn't get easier, you get tougher"
...amen to that!!!! you're gonna make it.