Just want to say hello... and this is a blessing to find this. I am 31 and divorced twice with 2 kids. I now live with my parents but I just feel like I am not fulfilled in my life. I try to be positive with my kids but sometimes I can't. I didn't want to be divorced either time but both husbands just left. My first husband ( the kids dad) and I have a great relationship concerning the kids. But I never expected to be where I am in life. Thanks for listening and hope I can be here for anyone that needs me. :thanks:

Hello Nixienet!!

I can completely relate. I am 33 and never expected to be divorced with two kids, renting, and basically starting over at this point in my life...

Like WHAT did I spend these last years doing?? And WHY? if it was only to end up like this!?? Have I COMPLETELY wasted the last TEN YEARS of my life???

But I am beginning to believe that apparently I had some tough lessons to learn and so everything HAD to happen just the way it happened in order for me to learn them.

Oh I am nowhere near 'okay' with everything yet. I am struggling with depression, lonliness, anger and disappointment in HUGE ways....

But I guess now I am beginning to look at it as just a 'rough spot' in the road of my life...and when I learn what I need to from the bumps and blows... the road will smooth over and I will be able to navigate any other 'rough spots' more readily and successfully with the knowledge I have gained from this....

I just wish it wasn't so danged HARD sometimes!!

That being said, I can say with absolute hoensty and sincerity, that no matter HOW hard it is for me right now, I would NEVER go back into that marriage and face all that again. I would much rather deal with this 'hard stuff' than be slowly suffocated by a bad marriage.

Thanks Momzilla for the reply... I keep asking god what am I suppossed to learn because I feel like so much has been thrown at me through time that I am so overwhelmed. I want to be positive, fulfilled, strong woman, but all I do is tend to be the oh poor me person. I try to learn from every mistake and when I think I got it... I go 2 steps backward!!!!

Oh how I know what you mean!!

About three/four weeks ago, I was doign very well when all of a sudden something happened that completely threw me over the edge and I cried and threw up for three days straight!

It's so hard, I wish this stuff came with a 'handbook'

Let it out just keep writing everything you feel and it will help you,do it everytime you feel down it will help and we are all here to help you we all have been in your shoes at one time.You will be OK trust me.

I am a single dad of 29yrs and live alone with my daughter of 8 yrs. When I read all your messages I feel like the only man living like you ladies. I feel so lonely at times too, all the time taken up with my daughter who I love so much though, but I feel that I don't exist and not living my life at all.

Fortunately I have a good job and can sleep someshat peacefully at night but the loneliness kills.

I want to start over with someone but I have no time to find this person.

Any advice please.

Welcome Goin! This is a great site! You will meet lots of friends going through the same feelings of loneliness.

I don't have the answer to finding someone while single parenting. Please feel free to jump in and meet everyone. This site and the wonderful people have helped me significantly!

Welcome Nixienet and Goin,

I am new too and I am finding that the people here are very caring and lift up and support one another. That is what we all need.

Hi goin m8 i no what you going through i feel like this quite alot now, ive got 2 kids aged 12,6 girls and wen they at school i sit at home and feel really lonely then i start to think and get depressed which maked things worse, i currently have no job at the moment either, but there seems to be alot of very kind people on this site who can help us out with there posts..

paul.......

Hey Goin - Why don't you try Eharmony. It is a good site to find someone; you can do it from the safety of your home and it is safe. You can chose what you are looking for in a mate at this site. OR
Try to arrange play dates with other kids in your daughter's class you will be surprised how married parents like to matchmake

It's amazing to here you guys talk. It's like hereing someone else telling my story. The lonely single parent that feels depressed. My divorce was finalized the day before thanksgiving. I love my daughter to death but I feel lost, lonely and very unsure of the future. I kind of feel like I'm just going through the motions instead of living. How do you get that back?

You hang about with us man!!!lol!i feel like that sometimes its horrible but im finding for the first time im smiling when i get home and looking forward to hearing what everybody in here has been up to, start your own topic if you have things you need to get off your chest and if your posts are enormous its ok cause someone will read it and reply and ask how ur doin etc. Its such a relief for me, i made the doormat topic and i don't have a clue how i could have coped if i hadn't cause all the things you worry aboutand cant bounce off your partner coz theyrre not there, you can say here instead of those hamster wheels running in your head. i hope you do it cause the amount it helps cant b measured. ive got to go now and btw wouldnt be off out if i didnt get advice in here today, id be sitting on my bum worrying.ill be your pal no probs-can you tell i like to type and never seem to leave a short post often-i should work on that. :welcome: :balloon:

30 and fabulous

I used to really get down on myself bcuz i thought ...what happened....just yesterday i was n high school, class president, violinst...
ballet student... with all the promise of a bright future and the next thing i know is i'm a mom of 2 struggling to keep everything running...but u know what i think we all must b doing a pretty darn good job at it. Our children are worth every single bit of the struggle and whether you're a single mom, dad, grandparent, guardian, or whatever the fact that u live everyday to improve the life of a child makes all the difference in the world, and i'd just like to say to all of u :huggies: and THANK U. Thank u for your love, strength, and spirit. U r truly fabulous

I am 31 and have two wonderful kids but as a single, never-married mom I struggle not to feel incredibly lonely. Sometimes I feel like being I am destined to be single for the rest of my life. I love my kids, and I cherish our tight-kint family but it is such a struggle to find companionship as a single parent. In my Church's Singles Ministry, I am the oldest member and the only one with kids. I don't fit in with the parenting groups becuase I am the only one who is a single parent. I don't have many social outlets in which to meet other single parents or even find a date.
Does anyone else ever feel like they will never find that "special someone"?

AJM - WELCOME to SFV!!! We are so glad to have you. There are many wonderful parents here. We share stories, accept and offer advice, and gain friends here. We all understand each other so well.

To answer your question:
Does anyone else ever feel like they will never find that "special someone"?

Speaking for myself - Yes I feel that way all the time. My focus and main priority are my son and daughter. Although I find 'me time,' I can't find the time or energy to focus on a relationship. I wish for the romantic relationship but don't think I'll ever have it because of my own issues and the difficulties of finding balance between parenting and dating.

Welcome! If you have any questions, feel free to pm!