I'm 37 and just recently found out that I am about 5 weeks pregnant. I have a 2 year old son at home. I adopted him last year. He is such an awesome child! So now, he won't be playing alone. He's going to have a little brother or sister to play with soon. ;-)) This is my first pregnancy and I am SO nervous. The guy that I have been dating is a great guy but I really don't want to marry him. I am a professional, with a good career, my own house, etc. I know I can handle this but I am SO moody right now. I am very tired, anxious and nervous. I have decided not to tell my parents until after the 1st trimester. I know that the baby and I neither one need the stress of dealing with that right now. So I'll wait until August or September. I guess the thing that has me stressed the most is how my parents will take this. My dad is a strong Christian and I feel like he is going to be very disappointed because I don't want to get married but will be supportive no matter what. My mom will probably give me a hard time. I'm not sure how she will handle it. We talked a while back and the bf and I getting married and having a baby and she was excited. They are all crazy about my son! So I know that once the baby is born, they will be fine. I guess I just feel guilty about being single and having a baby...and probably worried about what other people will think. Oh and you should know that normally I don't worry so much about what others say. I just feel like people look at you differently when you are single and pregnant. Am I being paranoid or do you guys feel that way?

The other thing, I know I will catch some pressure about getting married but I'm not sure that BF and I could make a marriage work and truly be happy. I feel like if we got married we could easily end up in a divorce in a year or two. WHY would I want to put myself, my BF and the kids through that?! I think I would be better off not getting married....especially the way I feel right now. Oh but you should know that he has been such a sweetheart since he found out. He wants to be involved, is going to all of the appts. with me and will help financially. That part is awesome!

Confused!!! I will need your guys over the next months!! I'm so glad I found a forum for singles...and for moms in their 30s. That helps a lot!!!!!

Welcome! Hope you enjoy it here!

When I found out my GF was pregnant I proposed moving in together, I barely knew her, we had been dating for about 3 months I think and between you and me (and everybody else in cyberspace) I was 99 % sure I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her, I gave my daughter my last name, signed all the papers that needed to be sign to claim paternity and we lasted for as much as we could. What I'm trying to say is that I felt I owed it to my daughter to at least try.

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Originally posted by Adrian1trk:
When I found out my GF was pregnant I proposed moving in together, I barely knew her, we had been dating for about 3 months I think and between you and me (and everybody else in cyberspace) I was 99 % sure I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her, I gave my daughter my last name, signed all the papers that needed to be sign to claim paternity and we lasted for as much as we could. What I'm trying to say is that I felt I owed it to my daughter to at least try.

Well you are one in a million. Not many guys are like that. Cheers to you!

Zacharysmommy - I was in your shoes less than a year ago. Pregnant and single. I too felt judged by others and was embarrassed to be seen pregnant without a wedding ring on my finger. But the more I was exposed to various reactions of others, the less I felt ashamed. If people have a problem with it then it is their problem. You show them that you are happy, confident, and independent and their opinion doesn't matter.

I even had a friend of mine offend me greatly, although she didn't realize it at time, but I just had to shrug it off and know that they are not in my shoes so they will never know what it's like. I'm a firm believer in not judging others until I've walked in their shoes. I'll never forget her offending me, but I don't let it get to me as much anymore. I have pity for people who don't have an open mind.

You can also tell people the father is a truck driver and that he is away on a trip.

Hi! I'm also new to SFV. I know how you feel. I was in a similar situation. The difference is that I did end up marrying the guy thinking that I was doing the right thing. Well, it wasn't. We ended up getting divorced. I think you should really think it through. If you're having doubts now, then it might now work out if you do get married. Well, I'm glad we have people here who can relate to each other. We all need a good support group. Congratulations to you!

I am not married and due to be a single mom. Personally, I do not believe that just because you are pregnant means you need to get married. That in itself could be more damaging, if it doesn't work out, versus just staying single.

Look at it this way, you aren't the first single mom and you certainly won't be the last. People need to realize that too. I have come across very few that I knew would "judge" so when they ask where the 'boyfriend' is (that i don't have) I simply say "sydney's daddy is stationed in japan right now" and that ends that conversation.

I had my son when I was 19. Talk about judgements! And I now have to deal with the "having 2 kids with 2 different fathers and never been married" ****. I finally decided a long time ago that what someone thinks about me is none of my business. When I die, my first thought is not going to be "Darn it, I wish I had pleased more people". The only thought I'll have is if I did all I could for my children. Forget about other people, focus on you and your soon to be growing family. In this day and age, is it really abnormal anyway? As single parents we have to deal with so much as it is, I refuse to let my life be dictated by others.

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Originally posted by Jessi Joy:
I had my son when I was 19. Talk about judgements! And I now have to deal with the "having 2 kids with 2 different fathers and never been married" ****. I finally decided a long time ago that what someone thinks about me is none of my business. When I die, my first thought is not going to be "Darn it, I wish I had pleased more people". The only thought I'll have is if I did all I could for my children. Forget about other people, focus on you and your soon to be growing family. In this day and age, is it really abnormal anyway? As single parents we have to deal with so much as it is, I refuse to let my life be dictated by others.

YOU GO GIRL!!! I'm with you!! It's my second go around being a single Mom...My son's bio-dad left as soon as we found out I was Preg. so I went through that pregnancy & his first 2 years MYSELF!! (With incredible support of family & friends) I did get married & He adopted my son ... after 3 misscarriages we had my precious daughter!! Unfortunately he was abusive & the Marriage ended, So I'm in the same boat: sing Mom two different Dads! I ABSOLUTELY LOOOOVE how you put it...When I die I know that I have enjoyed every second of being a MOM and that will have been what made my life full & happy! I cherish them & as long as I've done my best to make them loving, compassionate, good, decent people then who cares what anyone else has to say!!
I'm w/you Jessi Joy!!

Thanks Jaylie! We amazing mommies need to stick together!! Your kids are the cutest, by the way!