I've been with this guy for 5 years. I've had 2 miscarriages while with him. All he talked about was wanting a baby. He has kids from a previous relationship, but they're grown now.
He's 56, I'm 34. I've always wanted lots of children. Finally, I'm pregnant. He darn near passes out, saying how he's too old, how it's gonna turn his life upside down.
He came to the 1st dr appt, but that's it. He said he's not going to come to any more. He said he wouldn't be in the delivery room due to queesyness but that he would be in the waiting room.
Now, he's been going to this woman's house. She has a boyfriend, a platonic friend of mine, who lives out of town. I told him about the father to be going over her house. I also told the father to be not to come crying to me when her boyfriend shows up.
He said that she would pick him over the much younger, much more virile man. Right.
Needless to say, I'm going to be going thru this alone. I'll go for child support, but there's nothing like having someone there to celebrate every little kick, delivery, etc, as I did w/ my 1st 2 kids' dad. Not to mention the midnight feedings.

Also, I live in a very small community, and everyone thinks I'm so naive as to not know about his seeing her. It's really none of their business, but I hate looking like the one in the dark.
My mother doesn't like him, so I'm not wanting to tell her about the pregnancy. My out of state sister said I should in case something happens and I need medical help.

Sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I do know what it is like to think the person you are sharing your life with wants the same thing to find out when it happens that they have changed their mind. With me, 2 1/2 years ago my husband and I decided to have baby #2 and i misscarried in my 2nd month. Since I thought we both wanted to have another baby I pushe dto get pregnant again ASAP, only to find out that he had changed his mind. When I look back now, I think that was the moment when things really started to change btw us.

Good luck and keep in touch. I know there are alot of other women on this site that have gone through their pregnancies alone and can offer you a world of advice.

Hi bucket and welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear that he is making such bonehead decisions. Just wanted to say that in my opinion you should let your mom know, it's not like it's something she isn't going to find out anyway and at least maybe you'll have a bit of help with things.

I told my mother today, and she was surprisingly supportive.
I think the dad to be has found out about her boyfriend cuz now he's calling all of the time, wanting to go to lunch like we used to everyday, wanting to chat, being all nice.
I was very cool with him, but not showing any signs of interest.
I treated myself to getting my hair, feet, and nails done. It made me feel like a million bucks. He said he thinks I'm doing this for another man. I told him that all he thinks about is his next piece of a**, that most people have their priorities in line, that he should not worry why I'm getting myself pretty, because he wouldn't be around to see me or even bother to give me a compliment.
He likes it when I let myself go so that other men won't look.

quote:

He said he thinks I'm doing this for another man. I told him that all he thinks about is his next piece of a**, that most people have their priorities in line, that he should not worry why I'm getting myself pretty, because he wouldn't be around to see me or even bother to give me a compliment.
He likes it when I let myself go so that other men won't look.

Some men are just jerks. Better to find it out now than get married and find out. What you're going through stinks, but you'll be all right. Stick to this website, there's strength to be found and many experiences to help you on your way.

quote:

... He said he wouldn't be in the delivery room due to queesyness but that he would be in the waiting room.

That's bull, I loved being in the delivery room. Nothing about the experience is queasy. The times I have been there rank as the top experiences of my life.

I was in the delivery room for both my oldest and youngest.......wonderful experience. I could never be a doctor, but the birth experience was all a good rush...no queaziness whatsoever.

quote:

Originally posted by bucket:
I told my mother today, and she was surprisingly supportive.


He said he thinks I'm doing this for another man.
He likes it when I let myself go so that other men won't look.

Glad you've got your mum's support!!

To me, he sounds like a control freak......
Having been in an abusive relationship myself, I now see those attitudes as RED FLAGS!!!

Well, I've been having some spotting, went to the dr. who said there's bleeding behind the very edge of the placenta, not to worry, but to go on complete bed rest, not to even go to the grocery store. When I told my mom (who lives less than 2 miles away), she was like, "take it easy". I am so hurt by her lack of willingness to help, especially since I have to kids to take care of. When my sister who lives in OH went on bed rest, my mother wasted no time jumping in the car and being there for her.
I informed the father of the baby, and he was all helping out until he found out the baby's going to be a boy, and today he said I would get no help from him. This doesn't really bother me cuz he's an a**, but the whole mom thing cuts into me like a knife.

Bucket, my mom didn't help out with my first pregnancy either. I constantly asked her to participate but she couldn't be bothered. I feel for ya.

hi bucket.

welcome. you can do this.

my mother had a stroke 2-1/2 months in to my pregnancy and my incontinent alzheimer;s ridden 82 y/o dad took over my bedroom and i slept on the couch. i ran a 10 room b&b in season and made it to the hospital and endless other things. i was put on bed rest too - friends dropped off food at my back door. i hate asking for help. but ask i did, and support came teeming in from everywhere - folks i never expected. hunbling. cool.

granted i did not enjoy basking in the glow of pregnancy, but i have enjoyed every breath of this beautiful little girl. that's what really matters.

i am glad i dont have to share her with anyone. or listen to complaints about dinner not being cooked or the house not clean, or letting her cry - nada! and i LOVE it!!!

hang in there - you can do this.

Welcome Bucket

I'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time with the father and the pregnacy and your mom!

Get the rest you need and I hope you feel better soon!!

Thanks for the encouraging messages. I believe I can do this. LaurieDorey, I love how you put that you don't have to listen to complaints about dinner or the house not being clean. Well, the father has started calling, checking on me. He came by and took my trash out and promised to go to the store for me tomorrow and to clean my kitchen floor.
My mother had the nerve to call several times today (I didn't answer), wondering why I won't call her back. I think she's off her rocker.