Hi I just joined this site. I am scared and don't know really what to expect. I am a mommy to be due 12/18. I have no idea how much child care costs. Where to start my preperation for my child. I left my ex in June and moved 2000 miles away to live with my mother until the baby comes. My ex is very resentful that I decided to keep the baby. Yet he says he wants to be involved. I am very lonely in my new surroundings. I haven't lived in this area in 10 years and living with my parents at 35 is starting to get a little uncomfortable. I just need some other single parents to talk to. So, my first question is where do I start preparing. Not that I can really prepare for this. By the way. It is a boy...

Hi Kelly welcome to the site.
First let me say I understand how you feel I was alone and 20 when I found out I was going to have my son. I was scared to death. Let me say it didn't take long for me to realize that he was what I had been waiting for all my life. Having him made me realize that my purpose in life was to be a mommy. You are going to be the most important person in this little guy's life. I mean really why else are we put on this earth than to nurture another generation who is hopefully wiser than our own. There is nothing we can say about parenthood that will convey the feelings you get, especially the first time they call you mommy or daddy. It's not easy but there is help out there, coming here was a good place to start. Read some of the threads, try not to let any of them scare you, lol.
Moving back with your parents isn't easy I know. I was lucky that I had such a supportive family, I don't know what I would have done without them. I don't think God would have sent you this gift if he didn't think you had the strength to handle it. We are all here for you.

well kelly im 34, single, 35 weeks along, an ex that thinks i should have had an abortion and just moved back with mom and dad, so i know where you are coming from! I went from having it all to starting from scratch, ironically due to the fact that i was married, had a house and all the toys and wanted children when my exhusband didnt so i divorced him and 3 years later here i am. if anything you can expect support and understanding from this site-unfortunately you are not alone as you will see. if you have questions ask, someone will have an answer or info on how to get one, if you want to just vent do so, if you are more private you can private message someone you feel comfortable with. talk to your dr i know i am taking classes right at the hospital so he should be able to help you, or if i can answer a question for you ask. Like scout said you are lucky you have a supportive family

Hi Kellydun,

I'm 28yrs w/an 8yr and another due on December 27th. I'm scared b/c I've done the single mommy thing for 8rys and off and on had a tuff time doing it. How can I afford a 2nd baby on my own. I too have an X that resents me for keeping our baby. I've not heared from him in two months. He is dening the whole situtation is happening and he will be a daddy for the 3rd time in December I guess.

You know what I feel like that scared 19yrs girl again sometimes but I just try to move on w/life. I don't live w/my mom but she is there for me. So we are very lucky that we have the support going for us. Otherwise it would be very hard for us I think. I know for me it would have been tuff both times having my son and this baby if my mom was not there.

Good luck to you and stick around. BTW want to join the December babyies club LOL. Tiffnbaby,LauraEL and I are all due close to each other. We just decied to support each other b/c we are due around the same time. We are all going thru the same problems w/together around the same time. You guys stop cursing me I want my girl and so far every that is due in December is having boy! Maybe I'll be the one to have a girl.L

SPIRIT

quote:

Originally posted by kellydun:
[qb] Hi I just joined this site. I am scared and don't know really what to expect. I am a mommy to be due 12/18. I have no idea how much child care costs. Where to start my preperation for my child. I left my ex in June and moved 2000 miles away to live with my mother until the baby comes. My ex is very resentful that I decided to keep the baby. Yet he says he wants to be involved. I am very lonely in my new surroundings. I haven't lived in this area in 10 years and living with my parents at 35 is starting to get a little uncomfortable. I just need some other single parents to talk to. So, my first question is where do I start preparing. Not that I can really prepare for this. By the way. It is a boy... [/qb]

Hi Kelly,

Welcome to the site! I am almost 29 years old and pregnant with my first. I am 14 weeks along and in a similar situation as you. My ex was abusive and I called the police on him and left him back in July. I know what you are going through - I am also scared out of my mind as well. Like HMCR I had everything before, finances, good credit, a management job and now I am living with my aunt and uncle in a different state and I can't even find a job right now. I am uncomfortable here because I've always lived on my own since I was 20 - I was always able to support myself and now I find myself wondering if I can pay my car payment, much less take care of a child in less than 6 months. This has been a great site to visit - there are so many others going through the exact thing you are - I come here almost everyday and it reminds me that there are others who truly DO understand what we are going through. As far as the ex is concerned he was happy about the baby but then abused me again when I was not even 5 weeks. I just recently called him to see if he'd be willing to give up parental rights and he's still in his fantasy that he'll be able to be a father 900 miles away but then was like "How do I know it's mine?" !!@$@#$#$ And the proceeded to tell how great he was doing and that he was dating all these women (but he called them girls) He's 35. He's also an alcoholic in denial - so I understand the confusion and the lonliness TOO well I have to say. My best advice is take one day at a time - that's all I can handle right now - try to find an in person support group - I go to one for abused women - and don't forget you're not alone and that God is there for us all the way - he doesn't give us more than we can handle although I'm feeling like this is more than I can handle. I've always been able to plow through the difficult times in my life and come out on top relatively quickly and this is the first time I've had to have patience with myself and really start believing in something other than my own strength. So hang in there, I have good days and bad and so do the rest of us I'm sure. Ride out the bad and relish in the good. We're all here for ya!

:huggies:

kellydun,

Hi, I'm Tiff. I'm excited to hear you are due Dec. 18th. My due date is Dec. 19th!!! It's so excited. For some reason, there are a lot of people due in December on this site. I know how you feel about not exactly knowing how to prepare for this. This is my first child and I guess you gotta just go with it. I also left my ex and we no longer speak. So this is something I'm doing on my own. Here's a good idea for ya. I just recently did a baby registry at Babies R Us. It costs nothing to you and it is very helpful. They will give you a folder full of information that you will need. They will give you a checklist of items that are a "MUST HAVE." If you have some time it's a good idea to just go and check out the different items so that you are more familiar with them. It is also fun and gives you something to do to get excited for your baby! They also have free seminars that you can attend. All you have to do is sign up and go. They will have nurses there to teach you about newborn care, breastfeeding, and things like that. It's a good opportunity to also meet other exspecting parents. There's free food too! I'm 25 and had to move back with my parents too. It's not the ideal thing but it will help in the long run. If you need to talk, let me know. Take care. We'll see who delivers first! Congratulations on baby! :baby:

Hi Kelly and welcome to the site. As you can see from the above posts you are not alone. There is lots of good support here. You will be okay and things will work out just remember to breath every now and again.
Unlike the others I am not pregnant but am about your age with 6 living children of my own and a few extras.
Start preparing by getting a place to put this child when he is born. Call daycares in the area and check them out. Get prices and go visit them. If you are not working you might be able to get some financial aide. Call down to your local Child services department and ask about aide in your area. Most states have help with anything from daycare to food and living.
Have faith and keep on trucken. Stick around the site and feel free to jump in at any time the friends are fine.
God bless you and the little one.

Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. single how did you make out with the interview last week? well im 36 weeks today and going to drs in the am so well see how much longer, i cant imagine another 4 weeks, but well see. im realy getting nervous about the delivery. the ex has been alot better, although i dont want to jinx it, spent all last week and weekend together and he even made mention of fulfilling his financial obligations. well see i want her to have her daddy around more than anything. hope everyone else is doing well, any new news about the babies?

Hi HMCR,

The interview last week was rescheduled for tomorrow. I actually have two interviews tomorrow (yeah!) One is like a slap in the face as far as what they're offering but I'm desparate right now and just keeping my faith that the Lord will lead me in the right direction. I've been doing better as far as my depression - the doctor was really concerned about the depression and took me off the Zoloft (definitely not for me) and put me in Paxil instead which as in the past, seems to be working great. I heard the baby's heartbeat with the doppler last week and she said the baby was moving around - I'll be 14 weeks pregnant on Saturday - can't believe how fast and yet how slow the time is going. Hope the time goes faster for you! Sounds like you might be uncomfortable - I went to the support group last night again and I'm so glad I did. Still can't help but wonder if I should be with him - and then reason pops in my head. For the same reasons you're hoping on your man - I want to have a father for my child as well - so I'm trying to start thinking more positively about being a single mom and raising peanut on my own as scary as it still is.

Good luck in the next 4 weeks I'm going to be nervous too about the delivery but I'ms ure it'll be fine. You can't "jinx" your boyfriend's behavior - he's the only one in charge of that - I'm concerned about you HMCR - As bad as we want to provide fathers for our children, I can't help but think we first have to safeguard ourselves (Kind of like the oxygen mask on a plane - you first put it on yourself and then someone else. I completely understand your thinking and your emotions because I battle them daily - heck, hourly haha! But just remember you're enough for this child just as you are. And don't forget that mental abuse is the worst kind because before you know it he's wrapped himself up in your head. Hope I don't upset you or down your spirits - I just wanted to give you a caring caution because I know what hell that rollercoaster can be. Take care :baby:

quote:

Originally posted by HMCR:
[qb] Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. single how did you make out with the interview last week? well im 36 weeks today and going to drs in the am so well see how much longer, i cant imagine another 4 weeks, but well see. im realy getting nervous about the delivery. the ex has been alot better, although i dont want to jinx it, spent all last week and weekend together and he even made mention of fulfilling his financial obligations. well see i want her to have her daddy around more than anything. hope everyone else is doing well, any new news about the babies? [/qb]

well good luck single went for my checkup yesterday(yuck) no movement yet-still like fort knox in there(haha) had an ultrasound and she is about 5.1 and i think most of its in her pudgy cheeks. im going every week now, so well see next week. talked with the dr and have a plan for pain(thank god). Single any idea on boy or girl? between this site and work i cant remember what everyone is having. They had a shower for me at work yesterday too. Im really lucky between my family, friends and work, i got alot of beautiful things and didnt have to buy any furniture.
yeah my ex actually mentioned again yesterday about taking care of his obligations, it would be in his best interest to do it out of court, but if not i already have the papers ready. i may have to raise her alone, but he isnt going to just live on easy street ill let DOR eal with him.
Baby Depot at Burlington Coat Factory has a lot of nice things and very reasonable prices. I live near a Carter's outlet and ive found many things under 5.00 outfits for the baby-we al want to give our babies everything they want but right now its what they need, try to buy a little bit each week, like a packof diapers or formula, so its not an ll at once expense, save receipts yo can always return things for bigger sizes