I have a daughter that is 8yrs old and her mother is not in the picture. I feel im doing a good job filling her needs but often wonder what the long term affect this could have. Any ideas or suggestions?

Baretaster, a little girl simply needs the influence of a stable woman in her life. A grandmother, an aunt, a sunday school teacher, a soccer/dance coach. I wonder at times about my son not having his father, but my uncle and my father are stable men in his life - and he gives them the same respect that he would a father. Sometimes when you don't have all the ingredients in life..you just have to substitute them. Your daughter will need a female for some things, unless you are just that good. It is probably a good time in life to find someone that you and she both trust (so you don't get left out) that could spend time with her. Maybe even a Big Sister? I know there were times growing up in a 2 parent household that I couldn't learn things from either of my parents that I learned from my extended family. Good things, mind you. My suggestion is that you utilize the resources you have at your disposal.

I think any child of either *** misses out on something when the parent of the opposite *** is gone. My girls are fine with me- but they are mama's girls after all- my sons do okay but I can tell they would benefit from an adult male around...however, since there is no one really to spend a lot of time with them I do the best I can. Luckily I was quite the tomboy growing up, and I love sports and am used to being around men( I was raised around mostly my grandfather, uncle and brothers) and have worked in jobs where men usually are the majority. I am sure its harder for a guy to really get into shopping sprees and play Barbies-but I guess you just do the best youy can. One day your daughter will love you all the more for it-and I am sure she will grow up to be a strong woman.

Baretaster, (where did you come up with this name? I've been wondering)

Anyway....I have read your other posts. I think you sound like you are doing a great job. Don't worry....everything works out. I'm pretty positive that you have a feminine side . I am pretty masculine, I guess tom boyish.... I worried so much that as a mother to a daughter, I wouldn't be able to relate to a lot of these questions...about fashion, hair and nail polish. I know nothing of these things. My daughter still asks me...but I have no clue what matches what. I just have to bluff my way through it. I look and act like I care, or pretend like know with confidence, but I don't. I can't help but laugh. It's so silly and petty to me. The trick is.... the care that you put forth. It's probably already happening for you and you love her so much that you don't realize she's getting the answers she wants from you. You're probably already filling her female gap, you're just too manly to notice it. Karen

Hi Guys,
I have my 3 girls.I let my ex do the girly things with them such as Hair,Nails,etc. when they see her every weekend.But I provide everything else including stability.It is just strange that me and the ex get on better in a basically Brother/Sister type of relationship,than in a full blown physical relationship that we had before.But I also agree with Blindsky's advice if my situation isn't practical for everyone.I just treat make up and stuff as a joint learning curve.

Regards,

Mark

Baretaster, I've had custody of my daughter from the age of 8, VERY LITTLE involvement from mom. We do just fine though, including first bra shopping, menstrual education etc. You'll amaze yourself the roles you can fulfill when needed. Keep an open mind to your feminine side as Thinker mentioned and you'll do fine LOL. I've also read your other posts so I'm confident in saying that.

baretaster
i am asking my self those same questions. but seems that DON is an shinny example of an single parent. i do get down and play barbie, although i am not the best, i do play. but as for my daughter, i gotten her more tomboyish. i mean she likes to ride dirt bikes with me, fishing, sports, wrestling, and just goofing off. i know some of these activites she might out grow in time, but i hope she and i pick out new ones activites. but i do have a great sister and a mother that is involved in my daughters life. DON,, as for the braw shopping and menstrating,,,, well i would accept that when the time comes,,, but i hope it does not happen any time soon

MENSTRATION! I hadnt thought about that,LOL. I'll just worry about the Barbies for now. Im so glad I found this site. Everyone has been so helpful and friendly. Thank you all. Its very refreshing to talk with people who are going through or have gone through similar experiences. I guess we just do the best we can do and top it with lots of love and hope for the best. When my children are grown and look back at their childhood I want them to feel they were loved and have fond memories of home. I look forward to chatting with everyone on Friday in "realtime". Until then take care and thanks again for all the replies.

My son could use a male roll model...he still looks at me like I'm nuts when I tell him boys are supposed to put the seat up. I think he needs proof, lol.

kmhdad, First I don't beleive I've welcomed you to the site yet, as I know I had baretaster on another post somewhere so welcome aboard and enjoy. Great group of people here.
I peaked at your profile and at 5 yrs old, no worries you're safe for a while yet I do thank you for your compliment, though it sounds like you are doing a mighty fine job yourself. I think it's great you can mix it up between barbies and bikes

Baretaster, not to scare you but we did the bra shopping at 9 yrs. and began dealing with menstruation 5 months before her 11th birthday. Somehow, someway I just felt it was near so we had a talk and stocked up on products 2 months before she started. Again, I think you'll do just fine since you are already openly considering these things and looking for advice.

You guys know what, it's all good. We do what we need to do and I'm sure I shocked my own mother. I told her after bra shopping what we did and as she rolled her eyes she had to double check what we had gotten and pleasantly approved.

Saving Amy Rose, Just tell him the seat is is for sitting and other than that you need the bigger the target the better, LOL

Oh, and baretaster you can try to see who's in chat on Friday I will try to make an appearance. I think it's looking more and more like Sunday may work best for most as a regular thing. Still ironing out the details. Check back to the chat thread as it progresses.

Don,

thanks for the welcome, i think i might like it here. yea mine is 5. and you are right i have a while, well i hope. but as you might already know,,, time does go by fast. i am scared to raise a little girl by my self, but i do like good chalanges, and i belive i can and i will do it. i know i can.
but i do have one question for you, concerning sleep overs. did your daughters ever have there friends over for a sleep over? i know it may sound strange, but i worry that the other parents might not approve due to the fact that i do not have a wife/mother/woman in the home? i know it sounds stupid,,, but i sort of have the ability of thinking ahead of most people. and also ,, my daughter wants to have a sleep over because her friend had one.

kmhdad, That doesn't sound strange at all, it's a normal thought in this day and age, but don't worry so much. I had wondered about the same things myself before but it's been fine. My daughter does have lots of sleepovers. The other parents know me and my daughter well enough to know they don't need to worry about that sort of thing here. Just be sure to introduce yourself to her friends parents if they don't already know you, and let her invite them over on occasion.
And yeah I know we just can't blink too many times, since they love to grow when we're not looking.