Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 30 - Something Single Moms Hi, I'm new here and a new single mom|
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I am New to SFV |
Hello. I am a new single mom to a wonderful 2 1/2 year old disabled boy. My husband left me last month after cheating on me for 2 years with my closest friend. She was using both my son and I to get closer to my husband. I was even paying her as a PCA to help care for my son. I work at night and they were doing their thing while I was at work and while my son was sleeping. I feel so hurt and betrayed right now. I truly thought I could trust my husband, although I did have my suspicions the last few months. Financially, I am better off w/o him since he was such a spender and we always had trouble paying the bills. I am lucky that I have a good paying job witha flexible schedule.
He's trying to blame the whole thing on me. He says that I have changed over the lasr few years. HELLO!!! We had a child with numerous health issues!! That would change anyone. And he said I basically drove him to it beacsue I was such a *itch. I know he's saying that to try and justify what he has done, but it still hurts. Every time I see him I want to cry and also to punch him in the face! He is in a huge hurry to get this divorce over with. I asked him is she is pregnant and he says no, but why shoudl I believe him? They had been planning this for months and it was just dropped on me 5 weeks ago. I started counseling to help me cope. Overall I think I am dealing okay, but I get so lonely sometimes. And I wonder how I am going to care for my son alone. He is still sick. He's on oxygena nd a feeding tube, and some days are just so hard. He is the light of my life but I never thought I would have to do this by myself. Any encouraging words would be greatly appreciated. I look forward to meeting all of you. |
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"Brunette in training" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
First I want to say welcome and you are not alone. Although none of us can share your exact situation we have all been through pain and will most likely go through it again at some point. The main point is that you do go through it. Take one day at a time. Does your job pay you well enough to hire a home nurse to come in and relieve you occasionally? If not, do you have any other (good) friends that would be willing to help you out? Or a church? Not only would it be good for you emotionally to have some down time but it would keep you less stressed out and that is better for your son.
Allow yourself to cry sometimes. |
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On the Board |
im so very sorry you must go thru this pain. i dont think there is any worse feeling then that betrayal not from one but from both and the feeling like you are such an idiot for not seeing it. (at least those were my feelings) The worse part is you cant fall apart because you child needs you. I dont know how it feels to have a special needs child but i just want you to know if you ever need to vent email me
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"Least Fun Guy You Know" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Hello,
It must be horrible to lose your husband and your best friend at the same time. Do you have other friends and family in the area to talk to? It sounds like you need some support during this time. When people cheat or leave, they often try to justify it or blame it on their spouse. I don't expect that to comfort you, but know that you aren't the only one to have it happen to you; it happened to me. Lol...although don't punch him...that may feel good at the time, but it won't help in the long run  Financially you *are* better off without a spender...and know that from this point on you'll have the state of Mass to make sure he's a payer...and in your case he'll probably pay plenty...Are your son's health issues expected to get better as he gets older? Later, Bobby |
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I am New to SFV |
Thank you for all of your kind words. I am lucky taht my son's insurance does pay for some private duty nursing. I have it for a few hours a few days during the week, but I use most of the hours in the evening so that I can owrk. My soon-to-be ex said he would watch my son the 4 eves I work, and then changed his mind and is now only watching him 1 eve a week. He says it is because he lives 40 minutes away and doesn't allow him enough time to go home and shower,etc being coming here. He and his girlfriend had to move into his dad's house beacsue they couldn't afford her apartment. She doesn't like to work and can't hold down a job, even though there is no reason that she can't work. She's just lazy. I didn't mention that she happenend to be married to my husband's friend of 27 years, which makes it even worse.
I have a few very supportive firends,a nd my mom lives right down the street> She has been wonderful through all of this. She was also a single mom. My dad never sent support, though. My ex is currently giving me 1/2 of his take=home pay every week. I know I need to get that in actual writing, though. We did our taxes last night and I will be using taht money to pay for the lawyer. Anyway, thanks to all of you for letting me vent. I really need to do this with people who can relate! |
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I am New to SFV |
I wish you luck. Hang in there. I am finding we came to a great place to help us grow into our new life.
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I am New to SFV |
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Board Member |
Welcome,
I am new here myself. I haven't met any friends or anything yet. I won't waste your time saying "I know how you feel" because I don't. But I can say that regardless of we go through God loves us and won't allow us to go through anything that we can not handle. Although God is real, He is still a God of choice and will not force anyone to do anything meaning your husband/x-husband made his bed now I guess he has to lay in it. What he fails to realize is that if this girl was willing to betray you "Her friend" what makes her so trust worthy? Futhermore if he was a real man/gentleman he would have come to you a long time ago and say that it wasn't working. Instead, he chose to sneak like a punk (excuse the term) and if he can't be a model of a noble man then your son doesn't need that in his life either. I don't know you but I do know that you are not a *itch. I know that because God wouldn't bless a precious child as your son with that type of parent further more you are a woman and that is not what God made you. You do seem to be handling it very well. You didn't seem to be in a rage or a deep depression in your above statement and he ought to be glad that you are not that type of person. As far as your relationship, I'm sorry that this has happened to you and that you have to suffer from someone else's ignorant decisions. I pray that God will give you the stregnth, peace, forgiveness, and patience to go on and be the mother you need to be to your son. God Bless you Liberty |
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I am New to SFV |
I can't say " I know how you feel" either...but I can say this " I know pain"...it will get better. I have scraped the bottom as a child of a single mother and now a single Mother of 3 myself....keep looking up...head held high, you just reach down inside and find the strength, it's there..you know that! You will be a better, stronger, happier person in the end.
I truly feel that hardships in our life, just makes us grow towards being the person we really are. Take Care, you are not alone...:-) |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 30 - Something Single Moms Hi, I'm new here and a new single mom
