I have a full time job, a part time job, and also work as a freelance writer. But, the paychecks aren't paying the bills, and being a single mom, the most difficult part is the fact that I can't even give my daughter the slightests creature comforts. The whole thing is my fault because I was STUPID when I was young, whipping my credit cards out all over town, and now I am trying to pay off old debts, but in doing that, my new accumulating debts are getting the best of me. I've even gone so far as to take out payday loans (A BIG MISTAKE), and now, just weeks before Christmas, I'm in a mess where my bank account is threatening to close, I have no idea how I'm going to feed us for the next few weeks, and I spend every night crying myself to sleep knowing that I'm working as hard as I can, but I don't know if I'll even be able to buy my little daughter a Christmas present. I get sick when I think about it. I am afraid to open the mail, afraid to answer my phone, and afraid to see one more bill of any sort, because I know I can't pay it. I wish I knew a place where I could borrow a small amount like $500 or $1,000 and pay it back over time - that would get me back on track in a jiffy, but I don't. Can anyone help me out? If everyone in the U.S. sent me a nickel, I'd be doing great! But I don't know where to find realistic help, and I am SCARED. I've made a lot of financial mistakes, but now I just need help getting back on my feet....If anyone has any good ideas, e-mail me at conleya@cedarville.edu (or you can just send me a nickel through Paypal

Autumn Conley, welcome on the site,
I think what you need is a financial counselor (I think that's what they're called), not another credit.
You have a basic problem, which must be resolved at the root, and with system.
Not sure where to find one in Springfield, Ohio, though.
Those people unroll your whole past financial details, they help you make a realistic budget planning, and they also help you make a plan to pay off your debts (bankruptcy is probably part of it).
The whole idea is to make your finances converge, not diverge, on average.
And idea could be to talk to your bank.
It's kind of like being an addict, the first step to healing is to accept you have a problem, even in front of the ones who you wanted to tell the least.
Hope this helps.

We buy our xmas presents after the holiday when they're on sale, and our halloween costumes at 6pm on Haloween because the stores have given up and reduced the price by then.
Only advice I have is to downsize. Smaller house, food bought in bulk, etc.

Good Luck :-)

I start putting my Xmas presents on layaway in October. I usually get my Halloween outfits in September. I work on my winter clothes in August and my summer in March.

After that I just juggle things and make them work

Autumn,

I dont know about in your area but here we have a place called Consumer Credit Counseling. They take all your bills and negotiate with your creditors. You never have to deal with them again. They usually negotiate to remove all the interest on your accounts and freeze them where they are at. You send one check a month to them and they distribute it to your creditors. No more phone calls and robbing peter to pay paul. Hope this helps you.

Just a warning about using a counseling service. It is viewed as a BK on your credit file. Although you have not filed for protection, future creditors will look at it as if you have.

I work for a credit card company (well, i just got a new job today but have been working at cc for a few years) and the advice about Consumer Credit Counselling Service(CCCS) is usually a very good idea. They will close your accounts, try to negotiate for a lower apr. They will not remove all interest on your accounts. I do want to forewarn you about that. But they do stop credit card companies from raising your apr's to extremely high rates. It doesn't get reported on your credit bureau report as a bankruptcy. It just shows that you have credit counselling. It will lower your credit score. The main problem with it is that sometimes they don't send your payments in on time and where as you won't receive late fees anymore, the credit card company has the right to remove you from the program if too many payments are late. So, you do need to stay on top of it. But as baretaster said, you won't have to deal with all the creditors anymore. It is a good idea if you are having trouble and I recommend it to our clients all the time. Almost all credit card companies can direct you to a company similar to CCCS or to them. Also, there is also the option for credit card companies, write a letter offering a settlement of whatever you can afford to pay off. You might be able to settle with having to pay only 50% or less of the total balance. Also, all credit card companies also have a hardship program. They will close your account, lower the apr usually to 6% or less, make it so you only have to pay 1% for your minimum payment. They will work for you if you can show you are over-extended. My suggestion would be to give them a call, we aren't all mean, I swear!! I hope this helps and if you need any more advice on the credit card end, feel free to pm me, I will help in any way I can.

Autumn Conley, I know your situation all too well. I am in that same place. I couldn't go to consumer credit counseling becase the payments they wanted were more than I could afford. I was paying everyone $10-20 a month and it wasn't working. Taking payday advance loans. Because my paycheck was direct deposited my bank let me have a $1000 overdraft. I got to the point that I was always $1000 a paycheck behind.
My solution...my credit was already screwed up so bad I decided to I let it all go. I'm not paying on any of it but the important things. Rent, car payment insurance etc. I'm letting the credit card payments go and anything else in collections that isn't important. I'm just going to rebuild in a few years. My bank account was $1000 overdrawn and I quit my job with direct deposit. They shut it down. I can't even get a savings account now. I pay everything with money orders. When I want to buy something I ask myself...do I want that or do I NEED that. I am a single mom with one on the way. I'm so worried how I'm going to raise 2 but I'm determined to do it but I know I couldn't without the decision to let everything go and start over. It's a bad thing to do but I have no other choice right now. Feeding my son and putting a roof over his head is more important.

My sister gave me the advice to do what you did - to just let it all go....and I would do that, but my question is, how do you cope, then, with the threatening phone calls, etc. I WANT to pay off my creditors, but I can't do that and have any sort of life for me and my daughter. I have mustard and a half gallon of milk in my fridge. I had to pay my daughter's school fees with quarters and nickels this morning. And, I'm on my lunch break now and can't even buy a cookie from the snack shop. I lost 141 lbs. a couple of years ago....but in the last year, mostly because of stress, I've gained 50 of it back. I feel like I am ready to just step off the earth. The creditors even call me at work, and that gets me in trouble. I need out of the payday loan loop, but how do you get out? I did stop the direct deposit, and that helps because now I get my checks. But, I know the Lord will take care of me....I just feel like such a useless fool for letting things get this out of hand. How do you cash paychecks without a savings account? How do I deal with phone calls at work? I just don't know what to do.

I think I read somewhere in the "abusive creditors" realm of the web that you can stop them from calling you at work....might be worth a little web research for you to find out how. There are laws against how much they can call and I think there's some sort of "don't contact me" letter you can send...I'm a little vague on all of it. Research would be key

I actually had one call me on a Sunday morning yelling and swearing into my answering machine ..over an old $100 phone bill, LMAO. Like THAT was going to to be a huge influence on me to pay the thing. I took even longer to pay the thing hoping that he would keep calling up and making insane threats so I could build up a big enough of a case to sue HIM..lol. Unfortunately he was pretty quiet after that one time, so I ended up eventually just paying the thing to save my credit in my own time when I had the money to spare.

Cashing checks without an account:
1)Most Supermarkets..Walmarts too
2)Check cashing services (if you have any around there)
3)Going to the bank on which the check was drawn..they have to cash it for you at no charge, just bring ID
4)Desperation...sign it over to someone that has an account.

Let's just say I've done some research...Calling people at work is a NO-NO...ask them not to call you once, and if they continue, ask for their address and send a letter requesting that they no longer contact you at your place of employment. How stupid, if you get fired, how the heck can you pay or prolong paying the debt?...lolllllllllll

Happen to me on yesterday. I politely ask the idiot to give me his number and I would give him a call from my home number, that I can not receive these types of call at my workplace. He started to yell...what the heck did he do that mess for..."GOODBYE"...was my response.. Get this, he calls back and asked to speak to my boss to complain about me...WHAT AN IDIOT. My boss called me in his office, showed me the name, I was floored...this is what my boss said, "If you are calling regarding collecting a debt, then you should handle that through her, and I'm letting you know right now that you are not allowed to ever call this office, and that harassment calls to employers are illegal." My boss was so cool about it, but I was P'D OFF. My boss gave me some numbers to call and told me not to worry about it. Can you believe that fool called to complain about me hanging up in his face...I was floored...

Anyway, they had a new person call me this morning. I didn't flinch, I politely asked for their address (which I got off the website, ask for the amount I owed, and told her once again that this is my last request for them to stop calling my job) I put it in writing today. Sent it via email their customer service site, and two addresses (sent cert. mail). I'm not playing with their butts....I will send substantial payments, but I will not have them threatening, calling, or harassing me for a bill I am willing to pay, just not in full...


Hope this helps...


How may a debt collector contact you?
A collector may contact you in person, by mail, telephone, telegram, or fax. However, a debt collector may not contact you at inconvenient times or places, such as before 8 a.m. or after 9 p.m., unless you agree. A debt collector also may not contact you at work if the collector knows that your employer disapproves of such contacts.

Can you stop a debt collector from contacting you?
You can stop a debt collector from contacting you by writing a letter to the collector telling them to stop. Once the collector receives your letter, they may not contact you again except to say there will be no further contact or to notify you that the debt collector or the creditor intends to take some specific action. Please note, however, that sending such a letter to a collector does not make the debt go away if you actually owe it. You could still be sued by the debt collector or your original creditor.
May a debt collector contact anyone else about your debt?
If you have an attorney, the debt collector must contact the attorney, rather than you. If you do not have an attorney, a collector may contact other people, but only to find out where you live, what your phone number is, and where you work. Collectors usually are prohibited from contacting such third parties more than once. In most cases, the collector may not tell anyone other than you and your attorney that you owe money.

What must the debt collector tell you about the debt?
Within five days after you are first contacted, the collector must send you a written notice telling you the amount of money you owe; the name of the creditor to whom you owe the money; and what action to take if you believe you do not owe the money.
What types of debt collection practices are prohibited?
Harassment. Debt collectors may not harass, oppress, or abuse you or any third parties they contact.
For example, debt collectors may not:
� use threats of violence or harm;
� publish a list of consumers who refuse to pay their debts (except to a credit bureau);
� use obscene or profane language; or
� repeatedly use the telephone to annoy someone.
Debt collectors also may not state that:
� you will be arrested if you do not pay your debt;
� they will seize, garnish, attach, or sell your property or wages, unless the collection agency or creditor intends to do so, and it is legal to do so; or
� actions, such as a lawsuit, will be taken against you, when such action legally may not be taken, or when they do not intend to take such action.

Peace

Well, part of what I was going to say was said by Thinker. You can make the people stop calling you. Do it.

Let's first work on the emotional aspect. Try to calm down. Owing money is not a sin. We all owe. You are not a bad person - you are a debtor, not a mass murdererer. Don't let creditors make you feel otherwise. Breathe.

And you can tell them they may contact you via mail only. AND THEY HAVE TO HONOR IT. They will try to initimidate you but you just get tough right back. The most they could do is sue you for the money and that would mean you simply owe the money you already owe. This is not something they send people to jail for. So the worse that can happen is you owe the money you already owe.

Now let's move to the pratical:
1. Do NOT contact credit counseling services - it makes your credit history worse. You can do it without them.

2. Think of your bills (for now) as required or optional. Required bills are the ones you need to maintain your life: rent, food, utilities. Optional is everything else, including credit cards.

3. Calculate how long it will take you to pay off the bills. If it's more than 7 years (be sure to account for interest) consider declaring bankruptcy. Yes, the big B. Try not to be emotional about it. You WANT to pay. That's wonderful. But let's get real - CAN you pay? If you owe more than you make in a year, you are already bankrupt. If so, doesn't it make sense to wipe the slate clean and stop worrying all the time?

4. BK is a big step. Get all the info about it you can. If you own anything (house, car) there are serious implications. Start by checking Suze Orman's web site.

Good luck!

Hi Autumn,

I know EXACTLY how you feel ! I am pretty much in the same situation right now ! I have a full time job, taking online classes, and am seeking a part time job. I make too much money for assistance from the state in any form but not enough to make it. I feel alot of it is my own fault but I tend to make bad into WORSE somehow, even by trying to to do the right things. My son who is 12 was recently diagnosed with diabetes in July and I moved him here from Arkansas after just moving here to FL myself in March. I sold and gave away every single thing I worked for to do this to start a new life. I didn't even have time to get settled in myself before he came but it was what I thought ABSOLUTELY neccesary that he come here. So now, on top of his med bills and mine for depression (imagin that) I have normal everyday living expenses plus additional debt.I've spent almost 10,00.00 from income tax returns in the last 3 years to pay off current and past due debts. In 2003 I took out a loan to pay off bad debts on my credit to better my credit from previous marriages mostly and just now had to refinance the loan to reduce the amount in the RED that I am in every month. I am one regualar paycheck short of having enough to live just within my means. I am behind 1 car payment and the rent is due. I rearranged my schedule by switching my son's school for the 2nd time since he moved here in order to be able to start a second job that because my first job is 50 miles away my orientation for the 2nd is just this weekend and I applied 2 weeks ago. The phone never stops ringing and the bills come in daily. Hospitals, past dues, etc. I hate checking the mail or answering the phone as well. In fact to top it all off my son wants to go back to Arkansas. GO FIGURE ! I stay so stressed out and depressed that it just makes matters worse. It seems like everything I do isn't good enough and making what seems like the right decision turns out to be the worst decision. I have even went to my boss and HR dept for help through the EAP program because I can't take anymore. That is my only hope. Is starting therapy for myself. On the other hand, I feel like there are so many way less fortunate as myself and like I am being a cry baby. I have a boyfriend that makes an ungodly amount of money yearly and have accepted help from him in the past that only helped at the time and finally because of pride and it being a new relationship I said no more. He is a great guy but I don't like him for his money and don't want it, and I feel like PWT (poor white trash) compared to him. Sometimes as bad as it sounds I even resent the fact that he is there seeing all that I am going through and there is nothing he really can do to change any of it. We haven't been together long enough and I don't know if I am even ready to move in with him (not that he has suggested it). How crazy does that sound? More than anything I just wished that there was enough to pay the bills and give my child the slightest wants out of life so that he feels like a normal child.So anyway, I am not sure that I can offer much advise but I just wanted you to know that there is someone else out there that feels the same way and is going through the same thing. Its an awful feeling knowing that you can't buy your child a christmas gift and its just around the corner. Good Luck to You ! For what its worth HAPPY THANKSGIVING ! I will keep you in my mind when I pray ! you can email me if you like at shelms3@tampabay.rr.com.

quote:

Originally posted by Autumn Conley:
[qb] I have a full time job, a part time job, and also work as a freelance writer. But, the paychecks aren't paying the bills, and being a single mom, the most difficult part is the fact that I can't even give my daughter the slightests creature comforts. The whole thing is my fault because I was STUPID when I was young, whipping my credit cards out all over town, and now I am trying to pay off old debts, but in doing that, my new accumulating debts are getting the best of me. I've even gone so far as to take out payday loans (A BIG MISTAKE), and now, just weeks before Christmas, I'm in a mess where my bank account is threatening to close, I have no idea how I'm going to feed us for the next few weeks, and I spend every night crying myself to sleep knowing that I'm working as hard as I can, but I don't know if I'll even be able to buy my little daughter a Christmas present. I get sick when I think about it. I am afraid to open the mail, afraid to answer my phone, and afraid to see one more bill of any sort, because I know I can't pay it. I wish I knew a place where I could borrow a small amount like $500 or $1,000 and pay it back over time - that would get me back on track in a jiffy, but I don't. Can anyone help me out? If everyone in the U.S. sent me a nickel, I'd be doing great! But I don't know where to find realistic help, and I am SCARED. I've made a lot of financial mistakes, but now I just need help getting back on my feet....If anyone has any good ideas, e-mail me at conleya@cedarville.edu (or you can just send me a nickel through Paypal [/qb]

I remember those days. They were terrifying. My friend just changed and unlisted her number. It was a hassle, but she was getting 10-15 MEAN calls a night. I cleaned houses for a couple of years on top of my other job. Poo on Uncle Sam. The cash paid for gas, food and other needs. It usually took about 2 hours per house and I made 60 bucks a house. I did 2 a week. Not alot of money, but back then (15 yrs ago) it helped. My mom helped with Christmas thank the Lord, because at one point I didn't have a dollar. I made too much money for food stamps. 5 dollars an hour. Also, try your local Cristian Community Action if you have one. They will help. There is no shame in needing a little help. As long as you are working toward a goal of dependance.