Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 30 - Something Single Moms He's great at home and NOT at school|
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I am New to SFV |
I hold my breath everyday while my 15 year old is at school. They call me at work all the time to tell me what he's done.
I can't stand it anymore... HELP...   |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Well...you didn't mention what form of punishment you are giving out for his bad behavior. But taking away priviledges is always a good start. Also get him into some form of counseling...whether at school, or proffessional. You have to put your foot down, and let him know that his bad behavior won't be tolerated.
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"Mod Member on Board" Board Beacon Parent |
I agree Mommy him 24/7. As a teenager he has his problems for sure. But an Education is his future and he must appreciate this fact.Without one he won't get very far and we want all our kids to succeed. I would restrict TV and other privilages until there is a marked improvement at school and it is sustained for a period of time.He probably mixes with a crowd of pupils that are doing the same thing. But his friend's will not get him a job. They will have their own problems getting one. I have had experience of this as my Ex had a teenage son whom is now 18 and is now paying for his misbehaviour the hard way with no job and no money.
I apologise if I have gone too far.But I have been there and seen the consequences. With kind regards Mark |
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I am New to SFV |
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I am New to SFV |
Thanks for your reply. My son doesn't have many priviledges to remove as we had the year from hell last year. We ended up homeless and spent a couple of months in a family shelter. We have since settled into a rental basement and all the therapists and counsellors he has met with all say that his behaviour is a result of the turmoil we experienced last year. He is a very good kid. He is a very typical teen with a keen sense for justice. He is usually the spokesperson for his classmates that are too freightened to speak up for what they feel is right. Unfortunately along with that title, comes the consequences of being rebutted by the school principal and staff. Hopefully this paints a better pic for you. My son's name is Mike Thanks |
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"Mod Member on Board" Board Beacon Parent |
Iam sorry I shot my mouth off I didn't have any facts to use,when I made my comments. I apologise for taking it at face value.
You and Mike have had a hell of a year. I will revise my comments accordingly. Mike will be messed up with Hormones,etc. at the very least. Without all the hassles you and he have already been through.It now appears he feels safe at home in his own environment. But is stressed outside the home and possibly feeling insecure about himself. So he is creating an "attitude" for himself as a sort of shell to hide away in when the going gets tough.Unfortunately it is attracting attention from his Peers. The School should cut him a little slack. Is there a student counsellor available? Or a member of staff he can talk to in confidence. So some sort of action plan can be worked out. Again I apologise for getting things twisted Mark |
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I am New to SFV |
Mark No need for an apology. It's very easy in today's society to make a judgement without having all the facts. I recognized this by the feedback i've been receiving and then quickly realized that i hadn't given enough information for an appropriate response. Mike does have a couple of counsellors that are able to difuse his frustrations at school which then allows him to get on with his day. The privilages i referred to in my previous message are simply not available due to the fact that we lost everything we owned (especially sensitive to Mike were all our memories ie. pics and teddy bears etc...) At this stage we still don't have cable T.V or a computer. He's really having trouble getting past that. We are on several waiting lists for long term counselling as in Ontario the mental health services are overburdoned with not enough professionals in the field. I don't have the funds to seek private counselling, so this has left us waiting for publicly supported services. I don't discipline him for issues that occur at school because that would give him double consequences as privilages are being taken away at the school level and the school agreed that 2 consequences would not be conducive to getting positive results. Me and his home are the only consistency he has in his life at this time and to rattle that would only cause more instability in his life. Your words are kind and it gives me some relief even to be able to talk about it. Our immediate family members (ie. grandparents, uncles etc..) are all estranged so i find comfort in communicating with strangers. Hope you don't mind... Rosanna  |
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"Mod Member on Board" Board Beacon Parent |
Of course I don't mind. I have found since joining the group. That they are the most supportive folks around.Everyone needs someone to talk to sometime and sometimes it is better to talk to strangers within a group like this because they are out of your personal "box" and can be objective.Where you may be at your wits end. Someone may offer an alternative approach which you may not have thought of.
I joined because at first I looked at the site and saw it is friendly. It was Moms and Dads who were having a hard time. Who wanted opinions or just to vent.If you look at my profile you will see Iam a Visually Impaired person. I don't have any social life. Iam on my own with my kids 24/7. So this site has become a social life and also a lifeline. Feel free to PM or E-Mail anytime. |
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