I'm new here, so please bear with me as I try to get a hang of this thing and life in general. I'm a single parent of a beautiful 2 1/2 yr old son.

I have always been a single parent. No child support, by choice. Donor agreement. Unfortunately, he was my best friend and lost him during the process. In fact, after my son was born, I lost most of my friends due to my inability to party. So I became somewhat reliant on my family for support/conversation. My sister and her family lived with me for the first year, so I was able to go out occassionally, but he was so little, I didn't feel good about leaving him for more than an hour or so. After they moved out, I was alone with my son. I've tried to make new friends, but most of them are with people who don't have kids of their own and seek the same lifestyle I left behind when I decided to become a parent.

So I've been trying hard to make that work as he gets older, but I just can't bring myself to leave him for partying. Is that wrong? However, my conscience says I need to do more things for myself. I've been trying to date someone for the past two years, but she isn't sure yet what she wants or I'm keeping her at a distance. Not sure. She says tonight, "I never see you drink. You never have any fun or relax." She, on the other hand has her own battles and uses those to cover up her emotions and hurt from pre-existing relationships with her ex and family. I care for her very deeply, but hard as I try to explain that to her, she doesn't believe me. But, if I try to get her to go to the movies or shopping, or do anything, she'd rather sit at home and then go do those things with her other friends. But she won't let me go. I've tried. She doesn't believe that I had 'fun' prior to my son. She thinks I've always been this way.

This is my struggle with single parenting. Friends, dating and life in general. I'm a little shy in meeting new people, and I think I'm a little depressed sometimes. I think I'm the only parent who feels this way. Like I've lost touch and live in a life of fantasy. Is there a way out of this? I love my son so much, but I need to find the balance. My family isn't too supportive of taking turns watching kids and what not, and paying for a sitter sometimes breaches the monthly financial outlook and outweighs the adventure.

I feel guilty I feel like this. I wouldn't want my son to ever know that I didn't want to spend every waking second with him. He is at the age where he needs that one on one attention. No breaks. No every other weekend. It's 24/7 around here, except for day care. Then, I throw myself into work thinking it's saving my sanity, but it's only stressing me out a little more. Is this all in my head? Are these valid concerns? You've probably all discussed this before, but I'm so afraid I'm not only going to fail my child, it was my choice to have him! In addition, I can't seem to hold together any other relationships either!

Please, someone offer me some advice and hopefully tell me I'm not completely crazy and a horrible mom, not to mention friend and partner. I can't seem to close ANY deals on commitment.

I hope this isn't just whining. I honestly feel like I'm on a serious brink of losing it completely psychologically.

You've come to the right place!

Lots of us are in the same situation. I am also doing it 24/7 altho I have it somewhat easier cos my son is now 16 - ha! (easier? teenager!

I certainly don't think it is "wrong" that you don't want to go out and party now you have the responsibility for your child. In fact I think it is "right". It's natural anyway. It's the mother instinct. I was the same. And as for dating, I just wasn't interested. (probably cos I was in an abusive relationship).
It's hard when you become a parent and your friends are all still single and just want to party. They just don't "get" the responsibility you have and it can feel very isolating.
The same goes for relationships in my case. Most men I've met seem to resent coming second in the attention stakes (they seem like overgrown kids themselves).

Do you have any contacts with people with kids, thru the day care? Or just chatting with other mums in the playground when you are there? Most of them probably feel isolated too. Spending most of the day with toddlers does that to you.

I think you should check in with your doctor about your depression. Maybe have some counselling. It can help just to offload some of the worries that go round in your mind.

You are not! the only parent who feels this way.

I've been a single parent for almost 4 years now, my daughter is 5 and I totally understand what you are going through. I wasn't sure if dating was ok, leaving my daughter with somebody else when I went out, the, hiring a sitter costs money so I had to put everything in the equation and it was always looking ahead and trying to secure a future for my daughter than having fun, now I'm thinking may be if I would've dated my daughter would've had a mother figure in her live, I don't really know. Since she started kindergarten I went out a few times with other kids and their moms to Chuck & Cheese and things like that.
But we need adult conversation now and then.
Anyhow, you are not alone, different experiences, no right answer.