about 3 years ago my husband and i seperated. things went well at first than after a few months our 4 yr old daughter came to her daycare person and i and told us in great detail that her father was doing things she didnt like. our whole lives changed in everyway. i had such a hard time believeing it. after all the eveidence came in there was no doubt. he was never held responsible and never will. at that point i transfered to a new location with my job far away from all family and friends. for the last 2.5 years its been me and my 3 kids ages 10,7,and 6. they never got to say goodbye to him he is not alowed conntact at all. i work anywher from 8 to 15 hours a day 6 days a week and its been tough juggling work, kids and tired.i finally a month and a half ago said i couldnt do it alone anymore and moved back home to let family help. we are staying with my parents for a year to decide what to do from there. the kids had finally settled in where we were and had started making friends and i took them away from that. there have been a lot of tears, mine and theirs. they are about to start school and they dont know anyone and are very nervous. if anyone has been in this situation or has any comments i'd love to here from you.

I don't see where you have failed!

Your kids should be old enough for you to tell them why you make the choices that you do.

At least you are able to protect your daughter from a bad situation, my 3 youngest are in a very bad situation and I can do nothing about it, but I keep trying.

Hope to you on here more, we need more from this area.

everclear,

I agree. I don't think you failed at all! In fact, from your story, it sounds like you did the right thing for everyone.

I'm sorry to hear what has happened to your child and family. But again, you really did the right thing by them.

As far as having to move back with family, I think that was a good choice as well. I can relate to that part of your story. As soon as my relationship broke up, I moved in with my mother. It wasn't/isn't always easy because it makes me feel like a failure at times. But I also realize that the only person who makes me feel that way is me. In the long run, I know that the best thing I can do for my son is not be overwhelmed.

Is your family supportive? Did they give you the year time line, or did you decide on that?

Anyway, I've only been a member here for a very short time. However, I have found that there are so many people here who can offer support and advice in just about everything, wether it's by reading old posts or directly posting to you. So I hope you get what you need from the site. It definitly helps when you are feeling all alone, something I noticed that is a common theme here.

Good luck and keep in touch,
Chris

thanks. yes my family is very suportive. i have my parents and my brother plus his girlfriend. between us all we have 10 kids and help each other out with all that is needed. as for the time line, i set it to give myself and the kids a little time not moving. we have moved 6 times in the last 2.5 years.

The only way you would have failed is if you stayed in the situation. Your ex is the failure - not you! You seem like you are doing everything in your power to make the best decisions you can - and protecting your children is #1!

thanks to everyone! i'm relaxing a bit now and just going with it. it really helps being here with others who have been there. leting family in to help can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but theres no greater support out there.

Hi everclear30,

I was wondering how things were going for you at your family's house?

Christine

good i work 12 plus hours a day 6 days a week so i dont have to deal with my family a lot. i make it up to the kids when theres time and they love it.we spend as much time as possible.

I think you made the right choice and even if they don't understand now, they will when they are older. I hope things are still going well for you!

I applaud your courage to protect your children from such despicable situation. I also applaud you for being such a strong woman. I admire your valor to pick up and go. You did it for a few years on your own, what an accomplishment! Now you know you can do ANYTHING you set your mind to and the best part is that you are doing it right!

I applaud you too and you have definately done the right thing for yourself and your kids.
It's good you have family who are there for you.

And you know, kids are very resilient. I moved constantly as a child and it made me able to be flexible and fit into new situations very quickly, something I still have to this day.