Here goes, my spouse left me with an 18 month old and a 4 year old, left with nothing but a note on the table. The hurt, humility, what did I do wrong, the nights of anguish, how will I make it. Sitters, homework, lunches, dinners, dentists, jobs, dusting, cleaning,, baths, breakfast�.and on��.and on�.and on. However, hugs, kisses, soccer, school trips, camping, bed time stories, and on��.and on��.and on. After a year or so (it took that long for me) I finally made it to court and was awarded child support and never really received any money, even after the award. The first few years were the hardest; I could not even look at my spouse when the children were picked up every other weekend. One child would want to go the other would not, so much for time alone��� Throughout this whole ordeal (even with all my anger) the children never saw this side of me, they knew they were loved (by both of us) and were too young to understand (I thought) and they did not deserve it��..what did they do wrong?

Finally, I was ready for the divorce, time to move on�.I�m next in front of the judge�..my pager goes off, it�s my spouse. �Don�t go through with the divorce I have CANCER). That changed everything. The weekends picking up the kids�.gone, hospital visits now, and over the remaining months ahead. Weekends were now spent visiting the other parent��..whom now has become a friend�..a good friend.

Looking back I guess I could have not let my spouse have the kids on certain weekends and not let them see the other parent but it only hurt the children in the long run. How else better to get even��.use the kids. It gets better that�s all I ever heard�.It gets better. I thought (not being overly religious) GOD takes care of those who take care of children) and I did, and he took care of me. Well. I lost my friend to cancer in 1996 at the age of 39���my 4 year old is 21 and the 18 month old is now 18��their memories���.mommy loved our dad��.and dad loved our mom.

Been there, done that, been through it��..as hard as it is, it�s harder on the kids�..still single�����.still hard everyday��still making it��and I�m a DAD ��..HAPPY NEW YEAR�

WOW what a story!!! That was really moving and all that you went though!!! I do not think that there are alot of paernts on this fourm that would use there kids to get to the other parent. Most of us do not wnat ther other parent to be around the child because they are no good.... Read some of my post!! I am glad that your kids grew up knowing that you two loved each other... That is what I wanted to but he will not let that happen. He wants to hate me and control everything. He uses her to get to me by saying " I am to busy to see her" Knowing that it hurts me when he does that!!! Becasue I know that when she is old enought to understand she is going to be the one hurt!!!! I try so hard to protcet her and no matter what i do in the end she is going to be hurt!!!! Good for you both for sticking it out for the kids.. To bad for most of us it does not end up like that no matter how much we try....