Hi everyone,
First time on this board with my sob story.

My name is Joanne, I'm 35 and I have 2 kids age 9 and 6. My H left in late 2001. Since then, actually only a month later, I got involved with OM and did not grieve the loss of my marriage. This OM was great, he showered me with the attention I needed and sought that I never received from my H.

He has an 11 year old daughter and she got along well with my 2. When we'd go out, it was like a happy blended family, brady bunch unit! I felt like I was gaining back the family I had lost!

Well, 90% of all I knew, said I was making a mistake and that he was a rebound man. I ignored them and 2 weeks ago I just realized that this BF was just somone to 'use' in place of my husband whom I still love!

I have lost what I call the 3 H's. My husband, my health and my house. All in that order. Now I am on the verge of divorce, on the verge of moving to a smaller place and on the verge of lonliness..yet again. I don't seem to ever learn from my mistakes and to make a long story short. I was mostly the cause of my own marriage break-up. Call it self sabotage!!

I was very indifferent and didn't act like a wife when I was married I just did my own independent thing and then I got sick and I whined constantly. My H before would cater to my every whim and work hard for the family.

Then here I was this 'princess' wanting more, more than he could give and the last thing I wanted was a big house etc. I got it all right and we got into tons of debt. I grew more sick and then played the 'victim' role and still didn't change. I ignored his pleas that we communicate and work on the marriage. I never gave him attention and so he sought it through verbal abuse for a 'negative' reaction from me was better than NO reaction which was how I was. I was afraid of communicating and facing problems, I chose to ignore them and they just keep growing until he finally left..and then I decided I wanted to try.. but it was too little too late. I feel like the boy who cried wolf...so here I am alone and regretful but I need to stay positive and make a new life and new friends. Hopefully I can make some here. Hope to hear from you soon.


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HEY ANYONE FROM CALGARY,CANADA?

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Hi - welcome to the board
Don't be so hard on yourself most of have been selfish or stubborn or self distructive at some point - the point is to learn from it and move forward - so forgive yourself for your past weaknesses and build on it for the future.
How are you coping with single parenthood?

Hi Caley,

The hardest part is the lonliness. I lost many friends as well during the process and when my kids are away I feel like I don't have anything to do or any purpose, yet ironically I sought this when I had no time and my H wanted attention!! Go figure! I'm complicated I guess!

I will be moving to a smaller more affordable place soon and a whole new life and whole new group of friends, I hope anyway.
TTYL
Joanne

Heh, Joanne, I'm new in Calgary, a single mom to a 16yr old daughter (lives in Van. with her dad), and a 13 yr. old son who lives here in Calgary with me. I am also trying to meet new people/friends here, am currently in school retraining. I'm divorced and actually moved here to put some distance between my ex and I and to be closer to family..and looking for fresh start. Here's my email, r.jdeering*shaw.ca
My name is Joan. Hope to hear from you soon!