Hello I just wanted to ask if anyone here has a son or daughter around 18 or has had that you are praying to god everyday that they stay in school the rest of the year to graduate.My oldest son is alomost 22 and graduated 3 years ago with no problems,BUT my 18 year old son "Greg" is suppose to graduate this year,his grades are fine but his attendence is starting to get pretty bad,the school is on the verge of throwing him out,he seems he don't really care,that bothers me.I think the crowd he is hanging with are drug dealers and drop outs and he seems very withdrawn right now and answers very few of my questions.Greg is 6'3 and 270 pounds and has been in trouble for fighting and not following school rules and is still on probation for this,plus is now on adult probabtion for under age drinking.He was ALWAYS a mommys boy up until the age of maybe 12 or 13,he still talks alittle to me sometimes but acts though I'm his biggest ememy most of the time,I do everything in my power to talk to him and get him back on the right track but I think I'm at my end with patience,I mean I still have a 16 year old son and a 17 year old girl and another 17 year old girl I have custody of to care for as well,not to mention working full time and careing for my 41 year old brother (Cystic Fibrosis) . In any case I'm just lost at what I'm suppose to do or say. Greg is on Christmas break this week and is staying at a friends house 2 towns away,but I was told by my other boys that Greg said he is going to get a job that way and move out of here,I'm lost with it!

Hi Tam,
Sounds like you really have a tough situation there. I don't know if you can do this considering he is 18 but since he is still in school you may. If you suspect he is using drugs take him in and have a drug test done and then take it from there. You already know that he drinks.
If he is still talking to you maybe you need to try and lighten the conversation and listen. Normally kids will tell us what is going on if we can hear it. I know that is sometimes easier said than done considering they have their own language most of the time.
Have you ever had him in couseling? It might be a good idea even for the family to go. You know this is effecting the other children and they might need a little help to stay on the right track.
Hope I have helped some.
Best to you and God bless.

I think the drug test is a good idea. If he refuses, give him a consequence. Do you buy his clothes, stop. Or do you pay for the car or the insurance, stop. Something short of throwing him out. If he is doing drugs, then that is 99.999999% of the problem.

Where is his Dad? If he is not in the picture, enlist another adult he is close to and ask them to talk to him. Sometimes when a kid can't or won't talk to you, they will with someone else.

Thanks to you both.Yes greg has had tons of counseling,he goes and sits and trys to make the theropist understand how bad he don't wanna be there and that he don't want nor will listen to what they have to say.They have sense dropped the counseling for the mere fact its going no where,Gregs still in denile he has any sort of anger problem.My biggest fear with him is every time he walks out the door I fear I'll never see him alive again.I actually cry at night over it.I'm sure that drugs are a big factor going on in his life and I've had the conversation which him and he says he is in control of his life and that I need not worry.My father,his grandfather was a police officer and just passed away this past July,and I told Greg that I'm sure he is just disapointing grandpa very badly,seeming how my dad wanted all his grandsons to grow into responcible men.I just say and do what I can,he has the smarts and the knowledge,he is just chooseing not to use it right now. I'm dealing with that already and just got it layed on me tonight that the girl I took custody of 9 months ago is pregnant,WHOA! The father is still with her and wants to be supportive but I've let them know that I'm not having a baby ,they are and not to get confused with it.Well Ok at first I told him he can get married with or without the shotgun,but I settled down,A bit!

Yeah, don't force them into marriage. They should not have gotten pregnant, but a bad marriage on top of everything, would just make it worse.

How old are they? Do either them have jobs? Saying you want to be supportive is OK, but showing it is another thing. There is a young 17 year old on this sight with 5 year old triplets and a new baby. She is responsible and does exactly what she should. You should print her thread so you can show it to your daughter and boyfriend.

Elissa has a job and Joe is layed off and I just found of that they actually planned this baby! Well guess what,I see it that they can keep planning and she can move right in out there with him and his parents.I was very good friends with her father and when he passed away I promised I would watch out for his daughter and I have been doing that,she was a wildcat when she first moved in and put me threw ****,and still lies to me alot which I find rediculous.But the way I see it she can start being mom and being responcible for her child now.I'll tell her i'll help any way I can but I'm not having this baby she is.I love babies and kids and I'm the sort of person that would help ANYONE out but she knows the **** I've went through in the past year with her and these other kids and to plan a baby at this time was real stupid!

Just a update..I have calmed down about Elissas pregnancy and have gotten by the initial blow of it,and we are dealing with this issue.She seems to have good thoughts about everything and is still going to school and working everyday.So I guess we just start planning for a new baby