quote:

Originally posted by You&MeKid:
[qb] I'm new to this site and this is my first time posting a topic. I've been a single mom for 8 years now. My son's father walked out right before he turned 2 years old - he met someone with whom "it just felt right". Long story short, they married the following summer when we had planned to wed and proceeded to have a terrible marriage. In the summer of 2003 he committed suicide by pulling his car onto a train track in front of a train.

I've always been careful never to speak negatively of Eric to my son (even when he was alive). I feel that children love both parents and don't need to hear **** about them. My son was 7-years-old when his father died. He couldn't comprehend the finality of death. It was aweful. I told him that Eric died in a car accident, because I didn't know how to explain the concept of suicide to a child.

Since he was two years old it's been just the two of us. When Eric walked out I had no education, heck - I couldn't afford to pay the rent the following month and didn't have a bed for a year and a half. Since then I've gone to college. I just graduated in December with a Bachelor of Science Degree with a Secondary Teaching Licensure. I know I should feel like I've done well - and in some ways I do, but every time I speak with my family I feel like it's not good enough.

First issue: I don't date. Sounds weird, huh? Between running my household, caring for my son, working, and going to college . . . there simply wasn't time. When I have a moment I don't feel like dealing with anyone else. I just want to sit back and relax. Can anyone relate to this? Am I that odd? Every time I see my family (who have not been any support over the years) the first question they ask is if I'm dating. You'd think they'd already know the answer. How do you find someone that fits in with you and your child?

Second issue: My son is not active enough. I know this is true, but not really what to do about it. I live in an apartment building that is in a crappy area of town, most of my neighbors are trash. That sounds bad, but it's true. When I was growing up kids were told to go outside and do something - come back later. In this day and age, that doesn't work. Should I tell him to go play in the parking lot? I enrolled him in soccer, and although he's doing it, I can tell he hates it. Lately he hates school too.

I feel like I'm expected to oversee every aspect of his life. That's a lot of pressure. He didn't come with a manual and I have no idea if I'm doing things right or not. My son is a good kid. He's smart, caring, and tries to do the right thing. My family acts like it's not enough. They say I should go out with him and throw a football. I hate sports, so does he.

Sorry this just seems to go on and on, but what do you think? Is there anyone out there who has no idea what to do or if they are doing things right? I feel lost.

You&MeKid [/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by You&MeKid:
[qb] I'm new to this site and this is my first time posting a topic. I've been a single mom for 8 years now. My son's father walked out right before he turned 2 years old - he met someone with whom "it just felt right". Long story short, they married the following summer when we had planned to wed and proceeded to have a terrible marriage. In the summer of 2003 he committed suicide by pulling his car onto a train track in front of a train.

I've always been careful never to speak negatively of Eric to my son (even when he was alive). I feel that children love both parents and don't need to hear **** about them. My son was 7-years-old when his father died. He couldn't comprehend the finality of death. It was aweful. I told him that Eric died in a car accident, because I didn't know how to explain the concept of suicide to a child.

Since he was two years old it's been just the two of us. When Eric walked out I had no education, heck - I couldn't afford to pay the rent the following month and didn't have a bed for a year and a half. Since then I've gone to college. I just graduated in December with a Bachelor of Science Degree with a Secondary Teaching Licensure. I know I should feel like I've done well - and in some ways I do, but every time I speak with my family I feel like it's not good enough.

First issue: I don't date. Sounds weird, huh? Between running my household, caring for my son, working, and going to college . . . there simply wasn't time. When I have a moment I don't feel like dealing with anyone else. I just want to sit back and relax. Can anyone relate to this? Am I that odd? Every time I see my family (who have not been any support over the years) the first question they ask is if I'm dating. You'd think they'd already know the answer. How do you find someone that fits in with you and your child?

Second issue: My son is not active enough. I know this is true, but not really what to do about it. I live in an apartment building that is in a crappy area of town, most of my neighbors are trash. That sounds bad, but it's true. When I was growing up kids were told to go outside and do something - come back later. In this day and age, that doesn't work. Should I tell him to go play in the parking lot? I enrolled him in soccer, and although he's doing it, I can tell he hates it. Lately he hates school too.

I feel like I'm expected to oversee every aspect of his life. That's a lot of pressure. He didn't come with a manual and I have no idea if I'm doing things right or not. My son is a good kid. He's smart, caring, and tries to do the right thing. My family acts like it's not enough. They say I should go out with him and throw a football. I hate sports, so does he.

Sorry this just seems to go on and on, but what do you think? Is there anyone out there who has no idea what to do or if they are doing things right? I feel lost.

You&MeKid [/qb]