I am new to this board and would greatly appreciate any advice or help. I am 4-1/2 months pregnant. I am still in shock and can't stop crying. My boyfriend originally didn't want to keep the baby when we found out I was pregnant. When I told him I was keeping it, he seemed to get used to it- he came with me to all my prenatals, read baby books with me, made sure I ate good foods. We were supposed to tell his parents about the baby on Dec. 26th. The night before, the boyfriend calls to tell me not to bother to come see him, that he doesn't ever want to hear from me again, and he wants nothing to do with the baby's life, even if it's born. He told me my "priority" should be finding a doctor who could terminate the pregnancy. I said no. I am confused, angry and sad about his abrupt change in attitude. I seriously doubt I will ever hear from him again. He told me many times he'd never abandon this baby, that he'd always be a part of the baby's life. What happened? How does one try to recover from this?

It sounds as if your boyfriend is suffering from "reality/responsibility" syndrome...could be, that all of a sudden, he is realizing that this child is going to be a permanent part of his life, regardless of the fact that he is now claiming he wants nothing to do with the baby's life...to late! He is a part of your child's life, whether he likes it or not.

My suggestion is to first, realize that you may be on your own in raising this child (hopefully, he will come around soon, but do not take anything to chance), and as soon as possible, start filing the necessary paperwork in regard to proving he is the father of this child, so that you can start collecting (or can start the process of) child support. I do not know what your financial status is, but regardless, he is legally and morally responsible for the financial support (and of course the emotional, but that is another step you will take!) of this child, and before he plies you with promises that he will (or won't), the fact that you are not married, you need to take the proper steps in securing that support. Your Department of Human Services can assist you with aid (if needed) also in medical, food stamps and refer you to legal aid (cost is nothing or very minimal) so you can start the wheels rolling.

I know it sounds like a lot, and believe me, there are so many emotions that I know are going through your head right now, but start the process right away...having gone through the system in California before my daughters and I moved to Colorado, I know first hand how draining all of this can be, but you must do this for your child and yourself...and for the record, even though I was married to my girls father, it still took some time to establish child support and the like after we divorced...he wanted nothing to do in the way of helping us, even though he "promised" he would (help us).

Before I forget, and this may sound strange, but if you have his Social Security number or driver's license number, be sure to hang on to it, because if he does "disappear" (and believe me, I do hope that is NOT the case, again, I just have to figure the worst case scenario), at least this way, CS services may have a way of tracking him down...that is the only way I was able to get my ex-husbands wages attached...of which I received a whopping $22.00 last week!

Welcome to the board BabySmiles, and do know you have just made almost 9000 friends who are here to listen to you, and hopefully guide you in a positive way!

The holiday season is hard on all of us. It forces us to look back on the past year and look ahead into the new year. Sometimes, it's hard to face new challenges. Give your boy friend some time. Not a long time but some.

If he doesn't come around by then, prepare yourself for single parent hood. It's not easy but it can be done and can be very rewarding. There are a thousand testements here to speak to that. We're here to help in the worst times and here to cheer in the best times.

Sounds like the b/f was talking to someone with a different view and was influenced. You have to be strong now for the baby. You can do it. Many here have and are.

Best wishes.

Hi, I don’t have anymore advice just want to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. Try and take care of yourself and get as much support as you can from friends and family. There are a whole heap of people here that will give you support.
Take care