Hi,

I am 32 and everything feels like it is crashing down on me. I want to be a good mom but I feel so pulled and flattened by all of my responsabilities. I have the sweetest most creative son in the world. I want to give him the best life possible. Between, work, night classes, and parenting I feel like I have no time to finish anything and do it well. I am so frustrated. Also, I have accumalated after the divorce and financial troubles that so often follow... a huge electric bill. My electric was just shut off and I am staying in my fathers studio apartment until I can pay off the $2000 bill and get my electric turned back on. I feel like such a loser. There was just no way that I could pay for two day cares (before and after school, night classes etc.. and pay it off. I just want to catch up and be able to pay things on time.

Also my landlord just called and he wants to inspect my apartment on Friday. (yearly inspection thing). It feels like it never ends!

It is so frustrating to feel irresponsible and overwhelmed by this. Thanks for letting me vent.
My head knows that with a good plan things will eventually work out but my feelings have not caught up yet.!!

Thanks.

Betsy

I know how you feel. I am close to spiraling down myself. My boyfriend decided that after I had been laid off for 6 months, he had to leave. I still have not found a job or any means whatso ever. Unemployment has run out and my kids are all I have, really. I feel your pain. I am without child supoprt, and have been for three years. Regardless, I just wanted to let you know I will send good thoughts your way.

Be Well

hello, i just wanted t say i can totally relate
i had to move back in with my mother, i haven't found a job and i also haven't worked since my son was born 19months ago so i am flat broke
his father is an alcoholic who blames his problems on me, i filed for child support 2 wks ago but his father got fired like the same day
anyway, all i wanted to really say was i feel your pain, sometimes theres so much going in in your brain even the simplest things are difficult
just breath

Taking a breathe will help. Slow down.
Have you checked into getting assistance for daycare? You can call your local child services and find out what is out there.
If you can help yourself be organized will help also. I know easier said than done but schedules do help keep you organized and will help the emotions be in control.
I wish you the best, God bless.

Thank you.
It helps to know that other people struggle with the enormity of this single parent life.
I know all will get better. Thank you!!!

Dont feel alone Betsy Elizabeth-believe me a lot of us feel the same! I am 36 and sometimes things are going great, and sometimes it seems like everything is going bad and I get a hard time from work, my kids, landlords, etc...and I feel like..at my age I should be doing better, But as bad as things seem, I try to remember it could be a lot worse. I think of women in other countries who have no rights, no help, nothing to give their kids, and I thank God for what I do have. So cheer up-things will get better, and welcome to the site! I always post things late b/c I work a late shift and dont sleep early..but Im glad to see your post and hope to hear things are getting better for you!
Lisa

Betsy-Elizabeth,
The enormity of parenting is great. The enormity of parenting alone is even greater. We all share your pain.
One thing I have learned is that THINGS get done. Maybe not well but, they do get done. Being a good parent, keeping steady income, and going to school are the only things I strive to do extremely well. So what the house is cluttered, so what the car needs washing, so what I don't have a life outside my daily duties and so what we had cereal for dinner two nights this week because I did not get to the grocery. I am a good parent first, I do bring in steady income (although it is never enough), and I am making wonderful grades to help our future. Taking care of myself and my daughter is number one.
As for the electric bill. Have you checked with social services or the electric company and see if there are any emergency programs? I do know utility programs exist in Florida.
Keep your mind on the important stuff and "don't sweat the small stuff"

Wow.....this is the right place for. I'm in the hole $2000.00 total... back rent for my $950.00 two bedroom condo. I owe State Taxes...cell,h house--phone bill..cable..car note...insurance...weekend fun money.
I'm working- I'm back in school....but it's hard
when some pay weeks I don't have enought to get food in the fridge.... * crying *

Hi All,

Hang in there everyone. The fact that we all have such awesome support on this site is one big step in the right direction. We are NOT alone and it sure feels good to know that.

I hear all of ya... I became a single, never married mom at age 33. No child support, no state assistance because "I make too much money".

Ok, granted, my salary SHOULD be a pretty decent pay but that doesn't explain why I still have to live with my parents, barely have enough money to eat, starting to rack up some serious credit card debt and have car repairs needed that I haven't figured out yet how I can afford...

Some days I am on top of the world when I look at my daughter but then I seem to sink into depression and I want to scream and cry because I am broke and lonely.

Rhode Island is so expensive to live in and I would give anything to pack up and move south where it is a little cheaper...but literally ALL of my family is here (living within a 5 mile radius) and we are all very close. I could never take Laura away from the people who love her so much and move where she has no-one.

I say every day how blessed she is to have such a wonderful family surrounding her with love... yet I feel trapped by it all.

Sorry...needed to vent tonight...

Deb

Hello, I just wanted to reply, that yep i am here to in the ups and downs of singlehood. I feel that way too, on top of the world at times, and then really depressed to the point of just crying my eyes out. Sometimes its because I feel stereoytyped because I am a divorced single mom, somtimes I am ashamed because I can't pay my bills either, I have been in college fulltime to get done and get a better income, but sometimes its so stressful, when you think you have plan, but seem so alone and are the only one to reassure yourself.

Well I dont feel so bad now. I was getting very anxious about bills, because although Im working 2 jobs Im still trying to catch up on things. It seems like Im always trying to explain a late payment to one utility company or another. I owe the bank for overdraft fees that I didnt realize I went over my account form so I been cashing my checks at a check cashing place...my registration is due on my car...the list goes on and on.
Its like..Im always working so where the heck is all the money??

I can also relate..

My first husband left me with 25K in credit card bills...my second one left me with about 15K. I have an OK job and can pay the bills most of the time. This time I'm smarter than the first time, I hired a great lawyer who is taking my sexond ex to the cleaners regularly.

The best advice I can give you is, if you have credit cards cut them up. Stop using them and get things paid off. Look for ways to live on the cheap...I shop for groceries at Aldi and look for clothing for my baby at the DAV or Salvation Army. There are many ways you can save money. Evaluate your spending habits and that may help some.

I am in the same boat no matter what I do it isn't enough, I get so sad when I have to tell Ashlee we don't have the money for things she wants. Her father seems to think she can live on Vienna sausages and mac and cheese and it is no problem. I hate borrowing money from my family because they always gripe and complain. It was so bad that all we ate was top ramen for a week she loved that one I hated it. I am a wreck come payday trying to make it stretch farther and farther, I don't qualify for any public assistance because I make 17 dollars a month too much. I am so damn sick of hearing how the Ex goes out to eat lunch everyday at work and here
I am trying to put food on the table for my Ashlee. It is horrible no matter what I do it is never good enough. I am that point where I wanna runaway and hide but that isn't going to happen around here where I can't even pee in peace. I am on the verge of having my phone lights and water turned off but the ex doesn't care he is more interested in other things and those things aren't his Ashlee or her well being. I hate men who think that it is easy to be a single mother.


Kim

hello all.. i am new to this forum. nice to meet all of you.

a bit about myself - 31 years old single mom with a beautiful 5 years old son, i am currently residing in a tropical country in south east asia. was married to an american man, divorced early 2005. now working as a civil servant.

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well, i can relate to betsy elizabeth.. and truly i am also in a fix. my ex dissapeared after my son turned 1. i have worked in various places - and are paid very lousy.

at times when the bills started to knock at the mailbox, i felt like screaming my head off. everything goes up - fuel, bank's fees, tolls - and at time like this i wished that i could have somebody to share the burden with..sigh..

i feel the same with Berry2870 - i want to get away from the fast paced city life and retreat to the country where life is simple.. and credit cards are unneeded

but i know i couldnt give up on trying to make end meets. i owe it to my boy.. its a sink or swim situation and its a comfort to know that rome was not built in one day

dont give up