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I am New to SFV
Posted
hi,
i am new to this site, and have been a single parent for 4 years (since 3 weeks after my daughters birth, to be exact). i get no financial help from the father of my child, and i find myself thinking that life would be so much better, if only i had more money. maybe, however, this would not be the case.for example, perhaps the single parent who is successfuly making ends meet financially has to deal with a ncp that is a total nightmare...or has to work relentlessly (thus affecting his/her overall "quality of life") in order to keep up the comfortable finances. i would be interested to hear what other people think are among the biggest challenges in single parenting (especially if they are NOT financial), as i find the two biggest to be financial and not having enough "mom" time. i am grateful to be a part of this group!
 
Posts: 4 | Location: santa barbara, ca | Registered: 05 October 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
SFV JUNKIE!!!
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Hey Chrissy, Welcome to the forum...dont give up yet...the weekends are usually slower than the rest of the week. Just keep checking and wait for responses from some of the rest of the family. Smiler

Or you can peruse the site and jump in with both feet. However you like....your welcome here! Welcome
 
Posts: 4432 | Location: Sunny Phoenix, AZ | Registered: 09 February 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
On the Board
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First off welcome to SFV!

As for the rest , I know its tough , and finances are always an issue. Just do what is best for you and your kids.In my opinion , getting the education to further yourself in life is the best option. You have to depend on yourself, sad but true in most cases.What you do now , will be the foundation for your children when they get older.I guess what I am saying , yes you will have to work your *** off to get anywhere...

I work fulltime , and I pull as much OT as possible.I don't do it for myself , and yah my kids suffer a bit because mom isnt always home.But I know in 5 years ... maybe sooner it will start to show .. my girls will always have what they need , one day they will do the same for me.. when I am in need.


"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. "
Buddha
 
Posts: 54 | Location: Canada | Registered: 09 July 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Professional Rubber At Your Service....Wink"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
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Welcome!

There are tons of very supportive people here. I hope ya like it and stick around!


 
Posts: 2201 | Location: North Texas | Registered: 17 May 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Not your average Jane"
Setting New Standards
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Hi Chrissy,
Welcome to the gang! It's fun and supportive here!

As for the money issue - I can relate. If I could have had a dime for every time I made that same wish, well, I wouldn't be making that wish anymore.

Yes, it would be nice to have 2 incomes, but I wanted to add how much better off I am now that I am single. My ex was horrible with managing money, and put me in a great amount of debt by the time of our divorce. (Ironically, even though we had more money at the start of each month!)

However, each month, I pull myself closer to being fully debt-free. Even though I have less money than when we were married, I get to make all of the smart decisions as to how it is spent.
 
Posts: 1021 | Location: Seattle | Registered: 11 August 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
I am New to SFV
Posted Hide Post
Hi, Chrissy!

I'm new to this site too, and can relate with your situation. I've been a single mom from the beginning (10 yrs) and also do not receive financial support from the father. He gave up his rights. It's tough, but I manage.

About 3 yrs. ago I decided I had enough working crazy hours for little $$ and decided to quit my full time job and go back to college(almost done). We've been getting by on student loans and summer part time jobs. For me, the hardest thing about single parenting other than money, is finding people who can understand my situation. I usually hold everything in because when I try to vent, people sometimes misinterpret what I'm saying, and think I want pity. I put myself in this situation and I am okay with it, but sometimes I just want to vent, I'm only human. I'm glad I found this site! Hang in there! Smiler
 
Posts: 5 | Location: Texas | Registered: 09 October 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
At A loss for Words - NOT!
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WElcome to the forum..

For me I think the biggest obstacle is feeling alone to do everything. While most times I am okay with it, there are just some times where a little helping hand can go along way.

Financially I am better off then when I was living as a couple. I didn't know how much money he ever made to even budget, so I was budgeting on my pay alone. I found myself month after month, collecting debt, cause I didn't know how to come up with the money I needed and he always said he didn't have money.

So, to make a long story short, I do have some debt now,like my car, and a small amount on one visa due to car repairs, but I have no massive debt that I can't handle so I must say financially I am doing much better than I was before. I have learned to be more financially literate and wiser with my spending and about earning incomes. It wasn't always that way though believe me. I did hit rock bottom financially and pretty hard too.

When my son is gone to his fathers, I work part-time for myself, doing something I always wanted to do. THis allows me during the weekdays to focus on my son when I come home from work, and help him with homework issues.

My son has tourettes with mild learning difficulties, so that has been somewhat time consuming over the years. I spent alot of time taking courses to help me learn how to teach my son the way he learns. So having a helping hand, I think was the biggest obstacle, and since I didn't have the $40.00/hour to hire a tutor, Idid it myself, but things are getting better now, and alot less time consuming as he is getting older.




Writing a guide for personal change, fullment and discovery for children with dead beat parents. If you as a parent, or the child have a story to share, would love to include it.
 
Posts: 2650 | Location: Ottawa | Registered: 14 April 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Board Blazen Parent
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Hi Chrissy, and welcome to the site.
I can tell you that money is a big plus, I went trough some hard times this year until I decided to changed what had to be changed.
My biggest challenge is to fill my daughters needs, she gets attached very easily to any women that comes along, a waitress, the girl next door, even the cleaning lady, she needs that womans tenderness that I can't do. I know her mother is never going to be well enough to became a mother in the whole sense of the word, this is what it hurts me most, and of course, if I had the mother living in the house I could watch a soccer match without interference ...lol

Good luck to you and glad to see you here

Adrian
 
Posts: 363 | Location: Corinth, TX | Registered: 02 June 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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