Hello everyone,

I'm new here. I'm due any day now with my first child. It's a boy!

I've pretty much gone through the pregnancy alone. I was engaged and when we found out I was pregnant, it seemed to be a joy. We planned on having a small ceremony before the birth and then a big wedding next year. Unfortunatly, the week after I moved in to my ex-fiance's house (at two months pregnant) he changed his mind...about everything. He had a million reasons, from he didn't like my dog (did I mention we had dated for almost three years and my dog has been around through it all) to he just wanted to work and go out with his friends.

Anyway, it's been kind of tough. I think because I always imagined having a pregnancy with the love and support of the father. I never thought I would be in this position. But I've made it through and am focusing on the birth and the arrival of my son.

I did have to move in with my mother after the break-up, which has been akward but OK. I really appreciate having her and my other family member's support. Then of course, there are those who stand in judgement of my single-parenthood, but what can I do? I had returned to college to persue a new degree in Interior Design before this all happened, and didn't want to give that up. Especially now because I know that it will help my son and I in our future.

So that's my story in a nutshell. Like I said, I'm due any day now and am starting to get very anxious about the birth and afterward. The baby's father is around and wants to be at the birth. He realized last month what he is missing out on, but I refuse to take him back. I'm torn between allowing him at the birth and visitation, but I guess I have to put my resentments aside to be fair to the baby.

Thanks, I look forward to this community. I have gone through some other posts and think I am in the right place.
Christine

Well. I think you're in the right place, too!

Welcome!

Obviously as you look around ....you'll see that you're in great company....and that lots of these ladies here have been in the exact same position.

So hang out, jump in on conversations...and generally make yourself at home.

Hello!

I'm not in Mass right now, but I usually am...

I'm actually a bit intoxicated right now and I'm not sure how much help I'll be, but I did want to point out that a guy that'd make these decisions while you're pregnant isn't a guy you'd wanna be married to forever anyway...he did you a favor letting you out of the relationship while it's still easy (meaning, not requiring a divorce/judge).

It is good that he wants to be at the birth, however, and I suggest that you let him be there. Really...if your child ever asks "was my Daddy there when I was born," do you want the honest answer to be "no, because I didn't let him?" It's an emotional time for you, and I can understand you not wanting him in the actual *delivery room*, but I recommend that you let him be in the hospital that day and visit as much afterwards as possible. Unless the father is dangerous, it really is best for the child see as much of both parents as possible. From your "resentments aside to be fair to the baby" statement it sounds like you already are thinking along these lines...

Anyway...welcome to the site!

Later,
Bobby

hey bobby how intoxicated are you???? what are you wearing........haha are you still continent hopping

Hi Paulj_in_phx,

Thank you. I look forward to meeting new people in similar situations.

Christine

Hi Bobby,

Thank you for the welcoming response (even if you were a little intoxicated!).

It's great to have a male perspective. Thank you for your advice.

The father is not dangerous at all. He's just very confused and very immature. When I do "put my resentments" aside, it is much easier to deal with him and the situation. So, with that, I realize that it's my job to make sure the child is as happy as possible. I'm not going to be the one who denies him a relationship with his dad, nor will I subject him to anything that should remain between me and the dad. If the dad flakes out and disappears, then I know I did my best for the child and will be there for him. What else can I do?

As far as the birth, I guess I have to have the same attitude. You made a good point about if the child asks.

Well, thanks again for your response. I have to say I'm suprised at how many single dads are out there. I think that I've always been exposed to the idea that women are the only ones who care about the children. It's nice to see I was wrong and there are males out there who care too.

What is your story?
Christine

Hi Bishop,
Thank you for welcoming me. It looks like we are neighbors! Your daughter is beautiful. Is that your son as well?

What is your situation?

Christine

hey christine!

our exes sound a lot alike... not bad... just immature. my ex and i stayed together for 2 yrs after our son was born.. never got married and it is a good thing we didn't. He is a good dad, but doesn't have it in him to be a full time parent... which is fine by me, b/c i dread what time our son goes to his house as it is... only because i miss him so (the child, not the ex)

Congrats on your soon-to-be!

Hi heidihannah,

Thanks for the response. I guess it does sound like our exes are a bit alike. (Not bad men, just immature and not wanting the responsibility).

How old is your son now? Are those all your kids in the pics or are they friends/family? BTW, I love your photo collage.

Anyway, I think right now my biggest concern and fear is the birth. The father will most likely be there, but won't participate. (He just wants to be there because it's his son, not for me.) Scince this is my first, any advice on the birth and how not to be scared out of my wits? :-)

Anyway, nice to meet you!
Christine

quote:

Originally posted by christinedi:
Hi heidihannah,


How old is your son now? Are those all your kids in the pics or are they friends/family? BTW, I love your photo collage.


Anyway, nice to meet you!
Christine

edited ... b/c i accidently click the darn post button before typing

DOH!

my son is 2 1/2... the ex and i only split this past x-mas, but are getting along famously

and the two other boys in the photo are my nephews we apparently don't produce girls in my family... we are all very hopeful though

heidihanna,

So your family doesn't produce girls? LOL!! That may be a blessing in disguise! Although I'm a first time expecting mother, from my experience with friends and family, we girls can be quite a handful to raise! Besides, isn't it the father who determines the *** of the baby? So we can always blame it on them!
:-)

Anyway, I'm glad to hear that you and your ex are getting along, although sorry to hear it didn't work out.

Christine

quote:

Originally posted by christinedi:
Hi Bishop,
Thank you for welcoming me. It looks like we are neighbors! Your daughter is beautiful. Is that your son as well?

What is your situation?

Christine

yup them my kids. Dont say that too load she is beautiful but she looks a allot like my ex..

My situation you ask hmmmmmmm

I'm a single full-time dad with weekends off most times...

I work as an analyst for fidelity. so work and kids are my life oh and this forum...

is that the ex whispering in your ear...

quote:

Originally posted by christinedi:
Hi Bobby,

Thank you for the welcoming response (even if you were a little intoxicated!).

<snip>

What is your story?
Christine

Hey,

I noticed in another thread that you knew about VA and MA? I grew up in VA and moved to MA...

I also notice that you may be having a baby...say...right now! I expect pics once the craziness has settled

Later,
Bobby