I hope someone out there has some advice. I am a single mom of 5 children. Their ages are as follows: boy-15 1/2 years old; girl-14 1/2 years old; boy-4 1/2 years old; and twins girl/boy-will be 3 in July. They won't mind me I have tried everything I can think of from being extra nice to extra mean. I am so depressed over this. They also will not do their chores. I work 40 + hours a week and I come home to extra mess. The big kids are getting ready to get out of school for the summer and I'm afraid it is going to get worse. Their dad left us for another woman 2 years ago and isn't a big part of their lives right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Originally posted by Fryehomemom7:
[qb]I hope someone out there has some advice. I am a single mom of 5 children. Their ages are as follows: boy-15 1/2 years old; girl-14 1/2 years old; boy-4 1/2 years old; and twins girl/boy-will be 3 in July. They won't mind me I have tried everything I can think of from being extra nice to extra mean. I am so depressed over this. They also will not do their chores. I work 40 + hours a week and I come home to extra mess. The big kids are getting ready to get out of school for the summer and I'm afraid it is going to get worse. Their dad left us for another woman 2 years ago and isn't a big part of their lives right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.[/qb]

You're probably not going to like my advice, but here goes....The entire aspect of DISCIPLINE is learned/taught at a very young age...When you wait to really put a hold on things with your children, this is the end results...

For those parents that think, popping those little hands when it comes to the items on the coffee table....let me know what you kids did to those items. My parents got us for the old and the new, and guess what? All four of us have done well in life...NO JAIL TIME, PERIOD, DRUGS OR ALCOHOL. We've all had pretty successful lives...in spite of a few things....Both my parents smoked and none of us picked that up...

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the oldest two have their own opinions and views, and if they've pretty much gotten away with what their getting away with all their lives...THAT ISN'T GOING TO CHANGE NOW.....

Your right as a parent to protect your child is to teach them respect, boundaries, and keep them safe...There are times when discipline is reinforced to help them better understand THOSE boundaries....

You still might have a chance with the younger ones, but I can't say too much about the older ones...My mom was the disciplinarian in our home...My dad worked two, sometimes, three jobs, and my mother DID her job as far as being a working mom and keeping us grounded...SHE NEVER MADE ANY EXCUSES AS TO WHY WE MIGHT OF TRIED HER AT TIMES....we knew right from wrong because it was instilled in us early...For as long as I can recall...MY PARENTS DIDN'T PLAY BEING DISRESPECTFUL, NOT DOING YOUR CHORES....AND DISOBEYING THEM AND ANYONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER..TALKING BACK...HONEY PLEASE......I wish we would of tried....

Guess what???? I've raised my children the same way....One graduated hs last year...NEVER HAD ONE SINGLE PROBLEM WITH HER...She's never been in an argumement or altercation her entire life. I have one entering hs...she's never been in those situations...honor roll student...my soon to be 4th and kindergarten...DON'T PLAY WITH ME EITHER (overall, pretty good kids...thank God)....I don't have to spank my children on a daily...They were all sitting around talking about the last time I had to discipline them..early 2003......I do have to give reminders to the younger two, but those are few and far between...AND ALL THAT COMES FROM LETTING THEM KNOW EARLY....I ain't having it and here are the rules.....THEY ALL LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY AS WELL AS MY LOVE FOR THEM....not to mention...they respect me.....

My warmed behind kept me out of a lot of trouble...BECOMING A SINGLE PARENT IN THE SENIOR YEAR AT 18 WAS THE MOST I'VE EVER DONE.....

God Bless and Good Luck!!!!

MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!!!! Whatever you say mean it and follow through with it, If you say that things need to be done when you get there then they need to be. Give them consequences and follow through with them. Being mean and sturn are two differnt things to me. Their punishments should grow with them. (i.e. 15 year old no driving,no video games, no hanging with is friends nothing but homework and housework for a week and a weekend)

Mom, I applaud you I don't know if I would be able to do it I really don't. My kids are relativlely young 3 and 5 but I raised my brother after my mom passed and I have to say it gave me experience out of this world. Also mom don't forget to reward the good behavior as well in the midst of a lot of things we as parents tend to over look that, because after all maybe it will help reinforce that good behvior.