My daughter seems to act out and worse during and after visits with here mother and grandmother. Does anyone have info on what can help...reading material...anything, I'm at the end of my rope.

Most kids do this when they have visited the other parent. To a certain extent it is normal. The best thing to do (don't know your kids age(s)) is to explain to them that you still need to follow the rules regardless of where you are. Try to keep them in a routine as much as possible. Are you and your ex able to communicate these issues? It would help tremendously if so. See if she can keep her on the same routine that you do at home. Find out from the ex what your little one is doing all day/night. Maybe yours isn't getting enough sleep, or maybe is allowed to have free reign? It is hard, but you just have to if possible explain that when they are home with you, they are to follow the rules, etc. Does your ex let yours have candy, sugar? My ex does that all the time, gives my little one tons of candy and then drops her off, for me to deal with the sugar overload. Well good luck to you and your family.

Audrey's Daddy,

There is a great book called Daddy's Girl-Mommy's Girl (I am not to sure of the author) But it does talk about life after separation/divorce and how to parent your child. I have the brother book called Boys will be boys.
I would love to chat with you sometime.
ICQ# is 175277456

Thank you Hutch, and Suzanne I'll look for the book and comunicating with the ex is like hitting my head on the curb, but I will keep trying if only for Audrey's well being

Hello...have you talked to your ex-wife and her mother about what you see when they come back from a visit?
Also I would lay down the rules with the kids and tell them exactly what you expect from them when they return to you from a visit. Pull no punches..be straight with them. If that does not work, then start taking things away from them accordingly.
Unless this is a set time that they see them, I would also consider only letting them see the kids for a certain amount of time. Give these suggestions a try.

Ihave had this same problem but I am not the parent with custody. My boy will act up as soon as he hits his mothers doorstep after his weekend with me. I get worried by this type of behavior because it is so unlike him. He is normally so easy going. I havent found an answer yet to this but I hope I do.