Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 30 - Something Single Dads Trying to be father-like....|
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I am New to SFV |
My girlfriend has recently displayed a stand-offishness to our relationship. Since our work schedules are different, we communicate on emails and cell phone text-messaging throughout the week. I really love her and wish she would be open with me about everything, which has happened with every situation until this. I only ask this of her because I am open in the sense that I would want her to be open with me. I don't want to crowd our relationship and not give her the time she may require for whatever is on her mind as far as her relationship with her son and her son's father is concerned. Recently her son's father has requested more time with their son and that is definitely good althought the father's past is less than perfect inregards to using their son as a manipulation device to make her come back to him. While she has suffered emotional abuse from him in the past, I would hope that she would not try to return to him with this in mind for her own betterment. Over the July 4th weekend, her and I took him to the nearby town where his father stays and dropped the boy off at his grandmother's house. After 2 days passed she expressed great sorrow in missing her son. I think it's the fact that she is used to him being there with her all the time. I have constantly expressed to her that I don't want to be in the way of these relationships, but that I only want to have a positive and I mean only positive impact on anything I can. I see myself becoming a stepfather to the boy eventually, but I am not rushing this in my relationship with his mother. What should I say to her if she won't talk to me at all right now. I want to make sure she gets the right amount of time for herself, her children, her friends, and us. I just wish she would say, "Hey baby, I want to spend some time wiht just my son, or just my friends, or just by myself", instead of just freezing up and not talking to me at all. Am I overreacting to this becasue this is the first time in 3 months that we have been exclusive in a fully functional and healthy relationship that this has happened? I really love her and her kids and want what is best for all of them, I just wish she would communicate her deeper feelings on the subject. Please help.
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"Forever" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Hello KRC,
think again. How long has she not talked to you ? Is it possible that it was only 2 days ? You spent the weekend with her, today is Wednesday. She may only be busy. I am not sure what you mean, is she still emailing and sending SMS to you ? Then there is some communication. And even if she hasn�t sent any news for 2 days, don�t take it too bad. I can feel with you, usually it�s always the guy doing that, and the girl is wondering what it means. I believe there are phases where you need a few days off from your relationship. Yes, you love to talk every day, but then again after a while, it can feel like a duty, especially when you�re very busy (with work/children/other stress). And regarding the �being open�. Some things shouldn�t need words. Like, if you have to tell your partner �I don�t want to talk to you right now�, that is worse (I think) than just keeping to yourself for a few hours. Girls are strange anyways. Don�t try to understand them. Cheer up, it�ll be OK. Oh, and I read in your profile/in your posts you met her only 4 months ago and are planning to get married. Well, even if she really wants that as well, it puts a huge pressure on the relationship, especially at this early stage. I know you know that, but sometimes we need outside people to just repeat it to us.  |
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I am New to SFV |
No, it is total communication cut-off. I have ceased to try at this point in an effort to give her some breathing room. As far as marriage, we see it, but want to SLOWLY reach out and touch it together. At this stage in the relationship, we are comfortable, but still learning many things about one another and this is one of those things. We are aware of what our relationship is and how it affects the child, so we take the slow steps in an effort to not force stable new new guy on top of the kid's shoulders. I know not all things need explaining in a relationship, but not shouldn't be learned by ESP should they? We are still early, but remain conscious of the relationship speed and growth, so is it really too much to say, "I need a minute" at this point. How can I do my part without the slightest communication? Even if it is to just let her breathe for a minute, day, or week.
Maybe she feels bad for letting me accompany her and her son to the drop-off at his grandmother's house. It's all really so confusing and I just want to do the right thing and not push her or either of her sons. |
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"Forever" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
ESP ?
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I am New to SFV |
Extra Sensory Perception.....i.e. psychic
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"Forever" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
oh
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I am New to SFV |
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I am New to SFV |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums 30 - Something Single Dads Trying to be father-like....
