hey paul, thanks for checking back in. Good to hear things are going pretty well. Perhaps in time the right lady will come along, in the meantime kudoes for trying

Don, I know this is totally off topic, but you totally just took me back to the day my Dad used the word Kudos!!! I was about 14 and my reaction went something like, "huh?" Oh..thanks for the laugh~!

Hey Paul,

I just read your original post and I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. It happens to women too! I had been married to my husband about a year and our daughter was a couple of months old when I suspected that he might "swing both ways" and it was unoffically confirmed when he tested positive for HIV. To answer the immediate question people have when hearing this... yes, by the grace of God, my daughter and myself are fine. Needless to say, I stuck it our for four more years thinking I owed it to God for sparing me and my daughter to take of this man in his time of need. He proved unworthy but I degress. Basically, my feeling is God gives us these trials to go through to make us stronger (this includes your children) and I honestly believe that when the "right" man comes along for me I will be better able to appreciate him for having gone through what I have.

So keep your chin up and stay positive!

Georga

OMG Paul. I read your post and was shocked to see how in the same boat we are. I can all but insert my name in place of yours. A few of the details are a bit different, like 14 years marriage and she left for some guy at her work. but most everything else is spot on.

I guess what I am trying to say is you are not alone. Heck I am still paying some of her bills similar to you, I cover her cell, car insurance, life insurance and gym.

So stay strong and enjoy the kids.

Happy_guy Welcome!

Geez - I am sorry to read that this is going on.
I hope you keep on enjoying the kids and work on some healing.

Why? Why the heck are you covering those bills?
Cell phone, gym...

Be good to yourself and the children.
I wish you well.
Harmony

I don't want to hijack this thread. I think that my reasons for helping her out finacially (likely similar to Paul's) are two fold. 1st. I have always provided for her and it is a hard habit to break. I am working on it. Hopefully by the end of next month these expenses will be her sole responsibility. 2nd, this one I am a bit more ashamed to admit. Perhaps I thought if she saw that I still cared it might bring her back. I have now accepted that she isn't coming back. In fact I have realized that even if she wanted to come back, I would never be able to regain the trust that was once there.

In the end it only amounts to a couple of hundred a month. And since she declared in the separation agreement that she does not currently nor in the future want any spousal support from me, I thought it was the least I could do to help her land on her feet.

Hi all.
Checking in again. Please excuse the infrequency of my visits here. I am so busy this time of year. Usually up by 4 am. and not in bed till after 10:30 pm. Pretty hectic.

Briefly,
Welcome the the new people. I wish you didn't have to be here, just like the others, but glad you found us.

Kids are great! Much better than expected.
Me. I've lost about 4 pants sizes and still working to slim down.

Met a beautiful little lady. But alas, she decided not go out with me, even after giving me phone number and all. I'm a client where she works and she said that never works. Who knows?
It's a real bummer, I really like her...but....and it was really nice having someone that was as attractive as she is, thinking I was attractive too....oh well.

Other than that, I'm doing pretty dang well.

I gotta run for now. I'll try to remeber to post on Saturday. I should have more time then ...or Sunday.... we'll see.

Hugs and thanks to all. =0)

- Paul

Wow! Ok...I took the time to read this again. Funny how it wasnt as stressful as thought it was going to be.

Ok, so 2 years later:

Kids are 19,16.5 and 12 this weekend.

They are doing great other than the normal teenagers stuff, You know, like:
wrecked the car...
...I want a new guitar...
...I hate school...I got in a fight...

and then theres the older ones! LOL..Just kidding!

Me? Dating has taught me tons....hard lessons to learn: Mostly I'm great. 6 sizes down and 50 lbs lighter...I'm dating a lady going on 3 months now. You can read more about that in the fun lounge...I think.

I'm super busy! So I'm not on here much...and reading through this...Wow...I owe all of you som much! I even Saw the 1st post where I met "Bunny" Yeah!

This is like looking through a photo album!...ok kinda.

There have been tons of chats since, people have come and gone...people I miss dearly and still think about.

You all are my family. Much better than the people that call themselves my family.

Thank you. ((((((((( My SFV family ))))))))
Love you guys.

Paul...I hadn't read your orginal post until this AM. Man...that is a tough story. I really admire how u hung in there for your kids. I will never understand how anyone can forsake their vows, their children & their family over something as insignificant as sex.

It's obvious you've been able to hang in there and improve your life in the face of adversity.
You've been there for your kids and that shows a lot of character. I believe God has a special roped-off VIP section in heaven for parents like yourself.

Cool, VIP section...I like that.

Thanks, Joe.

Paulj,
Wow, I just read your original posts. It actually made me tear up (as things often do lately). It helps me to see that someone can go through so much pain and actually come out doing exceedingly well. You give me hope. Abbey

Hey Abbey. Thanks.

No matter how bad things seem, Abbey..never give up.

I can honestly ( no exaggeration) say that if not for thinking of "my kids", instead of focusing on myself, I WOULD HAVE blown my brains out. No joke. So to me, my kids saved my life.

It's never easy, but things do get better. Remember it's 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but that's still 1 step forward.

Good luck, Sweetie.

paulj...My Mom told me that same thing recently..when I asked her how did she raise 8 children "ALONE, NO HELP" and not lose her mind! She looked at me and told me we saved her life & that if it wasn't for her looking at our faces every single day she wouldn't have made it...I never realized that at 16 yr old just how much she really went through & sacraficed and now that I am a parent myself over the past 6 years she has become my "BEST FRIEND" and everytime I look at her I am inspired to just keep going & never complain, I am so...so...PROUD OF HER! I am sure your children feel the same way about you, Amazing Parents like you & my Mom should be honored every day, because that type of love & determination fuels me to keep going and never give up no matter what!

GOD BLESS YOU!

Will you cut it out...you're gonna make tear up..and ruin my "Bad Boy" image. Dang you!

paulj...I wouldn't want to do that