Any one who knows me from the fun lounge will know most of the background for this post. I wasn't sure where to post this but wanted to keep it out of the fun lounge as that is a place for freindly fun. Anyway here is a little up date, the ex is still not allowing me to have overnights (even though I had them in the past and we had agreed to them), and is restricting my visitaion to 3 hours on Wed evenings and 8 hours on Sat day. Grace cries when her mom takes her from me and reaches for me, it is very upsetting that her mom can't see how much she misses me and her other siblings. Even though I could take Grace from daycare when ever I want and I could keep her when her mom comes to pick her up (there is no order in place) my attorney advises me to take the high road and not put my daughter in the middle. This is very hard, because I don't believe it is in my daughters best interest to go so long with out seeing her siblings (sometimes up to 10 days) and to have so little contact with me. I am also afraid the judge will think that this visitation schedule is working fine and want to keep it this way. The thing that hurts me the most is that I thought we were friends. I loaned her over $20,000 to pay for attorneys fees in her custody battle with her first husband (I am sure I will never see any of that money) and a year and a half later after we split up she gives him joint physical custody and every other week visitation. I will post updates to this for anyone who is interested and appreciate all the support from the people here at SFV especially the Angels in the fun lounge (that includes Mark and JD).

Dali, I still question her motives. If she is willing to let you and Grace suffer so, she has something to gain from it. It is sad that she lets Grace cry for you for her own gain, but I can think of no other explanation. You have to figure out what her motives are and exploit that knowledge.
Congratulations on your good news! It's very nice to see something good happen to one of us. Here's to prosperity for you and yours!

I would say, rest assured that the judge will not think that visitation schedule to be fine. It may take a little time to get it all through the system and court ordered but you'll get more time court ordered when it's done.
And yes, stay on the high road in the meantime

I keep up. I'm like a ghost but I'm around. Congrats on your good fortune Dali.

Dali...does she reach out for mom when she comes back? Stay the high road and let the oh-so-slow wheels of justice turn. In the meantime keep doing what you're doing cuz it's working. You're child knows you and loves you.

Kay's dad - I don't know what her motives are, believe me I am more baffled by her behaior than I ever have been by anything. I am not going to bash her but in my heart I know she is wrong, so I will follow my attorneys advice and take the high road and hope a judge see's me for the father I am.

Don, thanks for the support.

JD, she does not cry and reach for her mom when she has to go back and that really confuses me.
She really gets the most excited when she see's my 7 yr old. I don't know how they formed such a bond when she doesn't get to see him much, but she starts bouncing in her chair or my arms and laughing and reaching for her. And he starts talking to her and it is like they are the only 2 people in the world they just block every thing out. It brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye just thinking about it. And thanks so much for the support.

I will post again when I have more news, good or bad.

Hey Dali I am not one of the angels from the fun lounge, but wish u all the best in your case. I wish there were a whole lot more stand up kinda DADS like u in the world!!! Probly wouldn't have as many kids w/problems.....Just keep on keepin on and doing the right thing by your daughter. When do ya'll go to court?
You know it's funny how kids see things...when my ex left my kids never cried I guess cuz they were use to him being gone travelling for work??!! My kids were 4 and 6 then and son hurts for his dad now. Nothin I can do but b there. And Please continue to not talk about the mom the child will know the truth one of these days. As mine are finding out now.
Good Luck !!!!

Thanks Laurie, I am doing my best to stay the high road. And I appreciate the compliment. You should visit us in the fun lounge it is a good time. The list of SFV Angles has grown since I first started using it and there is no reason why you can't be included. Our first court date for temp custody/visitation is on the 17th of this month. And what the judge says there will set the tone for the trial in Oct or Nov.

Well I will say a prayer for u on the 17th as you are sittin it that courtroom!!! I hope the judge will see the best intentions for your daughter. If my ex wanted quality overnites w/my boys I would gladly let them go but mine are 10 n 12 but I still worry about them with their dad who only lives 15 or 20 away, that is when he wants to see them!! But anyway keep us posted as to how it turns out.

The ex took the child in the middle class last night so I had grace from 4:30 till 9:30, Grace was in bed sleeping by 8:00 so it didn't make sense to me to wake her up to send her home with the ex. The ex refused to listen and took her anyway. So Grace can be with me only till 7 on Wednesdays, but till 9:30 if the ex has to do something and it is better to wake a child up to send them to another home than to let them sleep where they are. I can't see how she justifies her hypocricy. Everything whe has done in the last 30-40 days has been for her and not in the best interest of the child. I can't wait till the temp cust/vis hearing. I want her to tell a judge that consistancy is the best thing for an infant and then explain why she changed daycare, changed the visitaion we had, and than changes the one she is demanding to suit her needs. I also want to hear her explain to a judge about me not talking to her about Grace (every time I try she starts asking me if I have slept with anyone else, or if I am seeing anyone else, how much money I have, what I spend my money on and why I can't give her any (She makes more than me has less bills and never has any money) and I don't think these things are any of her business). I and my attorney have figured out what I would pay in child support and I have given her more than that over the last 7 months in cash, diapers, food, formula, and other supplies for her and the baby. And in her divorce papers she says that I haven't helped support her at all, but I have all the reciepts and the canceled checks to show the money I have given her.

My heart goes out to you and your little angle. I will not talk bad about your ex because I don't know her ( even though I REALLY want to because what she is doing is so wrong--oops ).
But it does the world good to have a man like you out there and I pray that the judge is able to see that. I will also say a prayer for you in your up and coming court date.
God Bless and Good Luck

Well Dali, you be sure to keep all your receipts and proof of baby stuff!!! How old is the baby now? Why won't she let the baby sleep over? Lol I use to like it when I was going out w/friends and I needed a free babysitter I would just call their dad.....But now since I don't go out anymore if he does not come or call on his own to get the boys, I don't call him cuz I don't like them goin over there. I liked haviv breaks every other weekend but then worried about them the whole time. But boys don't go over there not cuz I won't let them, but dad just tooo busy doin what he is doin than to spend time w/his boys. You just keep being the bigger person and everything will be ok.

Dali, besides all the reciepts etc. I hope you are keeping a daily journal of times and events etc.

Thanks for the support guys and yes I am doing my best to keep reciepts and a log of everything. Nothing new to tell you I had a great time with Grace this weekend, I bought her some new shoes and worked with her on walking she is very close. But I was still not allowed an overnight. The ex is making me provide all the transportation now because my attorney advised me not to let her in the house and not to go in her house to avoid any allegations of domestic violence. It is annoying but I will do it so I can see Grace. Hopeful this will be a good week, and I will have nothing but good things to report about.

Dali it sounds like you are on a solid path with this lawyer and the advice. When dealing with someone whose behavior is irrational it seems wise to avoid possible situations where she can manipulate the situation.
I want to echo Don's advice about journaling interactions and events with the ex. I have hear so many times when these journals were vital in court.
Good luck and stay strong.

The ex's attorney is now saying that he isn't available on Aug 17th for the temp custody/visitaion hearing, my attorney says this is a delaying tactic to keep things like the are and restrict my visitation. So she is going to fight it and try to get it moved up. The ex's attorney wants to delay it until sometime in Sept. Thank the lord I have a therapy appointment tonight because I am just about out of my mind with hurt and anger. I am so stressed out and shaking I can't hardly type let alone concentrate on my work. Only an hour left and I am out of here. Wish me luck.