Dali so very sorry to hear about the change in court dates. Yes, sounds like a tactic to stall to me but if at all possible I would try and not have it delayed til Sept. I wish u the very best of luck!!! :huggies:

Yeah, it's almost too bad it didn't work like the criminal system, where you have the right to a speedy process and have to agree to having court dates stretched out on the calendar.

Hang in there Dali, and yes.....good luck.

I have good news (for the most part) the hearing for temporary custody/visitation/support will not be delayed and last night my first wife went to my attorney and wrote up a 3-4 page affidavite about how good a father and co-parent I am and how even though I am the custodial parent I include her in every decision and cunsult her about choices I need to make for the boys. I also got one from a co-worker, and from a child psychiatrist. So I am very upbeat about winning this. On the down side, the ex refused to let me take Grace overnight to a family reunion in IL this weekend or to settle this before it gets to court, but my attorney says those things will only hurt her when we do get infront of the judge. Thanks again to everyone on here for their support I would be lost with out it.

Well congrats Dali I am happy for you!! Wow looks like you owe wife #1 lunch lol. I gotta give it to you, you have so much patience I don't know how you do it.
My ex after we first got div. he would have the boys and purposely not bring them home even if they had sch. He would tell me he is their dad and he can make decisions too. I wish I got the police involved everytime he did that.

Laurie05, it has been a long hard road to learn patience and I sometimes still lose mine, but I know it is a weaknes and I work on it consciously on a daily basis. It is how I got the nick name dalilamakarma (long story) I bought her a really fancy specialty iced coffee called a Sugar Daddy. LOL if I actually took her out for lunch her Sugar Daddy would have a fit. So we don't do things to make her life tough, I have forgiven her for what she did and we are friends, not just friendly but true friends and we put our kids first. She knows how much the boys love their little sister so she wants to help them be able to see her as much as possible.

I hope your ex is not still doing those things. If he is or if he does them again you should call the police because if you don't he will think he can get away with it when ever he wants.

I am so envious...the relationship you have with the boys' mother is awesome. That is the kind of relationship I have always wanted with Jayd's mom. Your boys must be fine young men with a parenting team like that.


"...because I am just about out of my mind with hurt and anger."

I can so relate.

Thanks JD, I had to swallow some pride and forgive some behavior that I thought was unforgivable (cheating, abandoning her kids), but I finally decided she was a good person (which is why I loved her) and there must of been some reason for this behavior, she put her life back together and I gave her a second chance at being a mom and being friends and for 2 years now things have been good in those areas. We leave the past alone and concentrate on the future.
I like to think that my boys are growing into fine young men, I guess time will tell. I always hope that I am a good parent, I had good teachers, my parents weren't perfect, but then neither was I and they are still here for me today in every way.

Tomorrow is the big day and I don't know if I am ready, I worry that I am not prepared for court and that I am being to nice. I know if I gave the judge all the bad information about her it would be a slam dunk but do I really want to do that to my little girls mom. I know she is wrong, but she thinks (I hope it isn't her being vengeful) she is doing what is best for Grace. I think she is better than she has been in the past, but I wonder if she could fall back into that patern of self destruction (borderline personality disorder). I don't think she would ever hurt Grace, but sometimes (to often) she doesn't think about the consequences her actions have on other people. It is very hard to concentrate on work today. I am doing a lot of soul searching, praying, thinking today. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, the impact of her not working out visitaion has caused me to have to quit my second job. Which in turn has affected how much money I have to contribute to our daughter. Sorry this is kind of a rambling post but I have to get it out and figured this was better than going out to the bars and getting drunk and pouring it out to a stranger. The worst part is that I still care about her, and I could never imagine doing to her what she is doing to me. I guess I need to realise that things are never going to be the same and that we aren't going to be friends. I just never thought my life would end up like this. I always thought I would have the house with the picket fence and a family to share it with. Well I should try to work on something today, I am sure I will add to this post later.

Well Dali,

Through this message I am sending you my strength for tomorrow. I hope it helps I have actually built up a pretty good supply of strength. I will also say a prayer for you and your precious one. I will also say one for your ex, that God puts it in her heart to do what is best for His angel.

Good luck and much love :huggies:

Thanks, Aunder I really appreciate it. I just got back from meeting with a child psychiatrist who gave me a wonderful letter/affidavit that says unless one parent or the other is a harm to the child than it is in the best interest of the child to have balanced (equal) time with each parent. So I think things are looking up for me.

Hey Dali,
Look man, you can't get sentimental about the ex now. I know how easy that is to do over time. The original pain begins to fade and you lose your perspective.
The fact of the matter is, you better go into court with all your guns loaded, (metaphorically speaking, of course). If you back down any at all, you can bet that she won't.
This is about Grace and how much you get to be a part of her life. That is tantamount to anything you might still feel for the ex. You are one person I shouldn't have to say that to.
I know that you wouldn't keep Grace away from her mother, but she sure as hell kept her away from you. You need to control this situation for the benifit of your daughter. Obviously, you are the only one that has the presence of mind to remain fair through out this unfortunate scenario. That being said, you better hold all the cards my friend.
Besides that, when a stranger (the judge) is being trusted to make decisions regarding your child's well being, I would suggest submitting all the facts.
I can't say it enough Dali, don't back off. This is why you saved all those receipts and wrote all those things down. This is what you paid your lawyer all that money for. Don't lose your focus Dali. It's Grace, man. Stay strong and fight hard for her. We are all pulling for you to win your time with her. We don't want to see you hurt or deprived of her any more. Do what you have to do to resolve this. Be strong tomorrow. I will pray for you my friend.

Well here's my spiel on this;

see above


Sadly , Dali, you are about to step outside the relationship arena and into the legal arena. And they play rough there. Do you think her lawyer is getting paid to make YOU look good? Regardless of how she feels. He's doing a job. Stay focussed. The healing comes after. Stand tall and confident.

Thanks, for the wake up guys and the encouragement. I will let you know how it goes.

Pre-court jitters Dali. Stay strong and remember what it's about. You seeing Grace on a real schedule, not just what's convenient for others.
You don't have to sling mud so much as just present what you have in a dignified manner. You aren't doing anything bad to your ex, she created the situation. You are doing something good for Grace, getting her to see her daddy for a reasonable time amount.
I hope your day in front of the judge goes well.

Don said it better than me.