Yesterday, I had to file a harrasment grievence against my ex with management at work, and file a police report with the federal police at work because of her continued erratic behavior.

She constantly calls me at work on my work phone and cell phone and starts an argument with me trying to justify her actions. She then threatens my job, and my chances at promotions because she has been here longer and knows people that are higher up. She also tells me that I am sick, deranged person for taking her to court to get more time with my daughter (last time I checked she took me to court, I only responded to her filing). Anyway yesterday was the last straw, it was very hard, because she does have friends in upper management, and also I don't want her to lose her job, but I am tired of the harrasment and abuse. My attorney is out of town this week so I can't go to her for help, but she said she would meet with me on Monday to discuss our options.

I am hopeful that I did the right thing, and that this will in no way comback to hurt Grace. But since I never know what she is going to do or how she will react, I just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Hope this isn't to much of a rant, just thought I would update you on how things are progressing (deteriorating).

Dali.

Good to see you Dali, sorry it is for a crummy reason.
You are not responsible for her actions or the consequences of them.
I think you did the proper thing. You can't function properly at your job with her constantly calling and picking a fight, nor can she.
Fingers crossed that it smooths out for you soon.

Dali, it sounds very much like you are doing what you need to do. It seems she's trying some dirty tactics to try to control you. Sorry that you are having to do all that, but to me it really does seem that you are doing the right thing. I hope your lawyer can step up with a way to also help out with this.

Dali,

I wish my X husband wanted to see his son the way you fight to see your child. I am having major issues with my son because of his dad. I try to involve him and ask him for advice. I can't stand the person he has turned into, but I was hoping to co-parent. We both brought him into the world. We made a decision to have a child. Why does he think he only has to be dad four days a month?

You are doing everything right. If upper management gets involved with this and gives you problems, you will have a major lawsuit to file. They should be trained to handle situations like this. They probably want to stay in their position and will not get involved.

So proud of you. Hang in there!!!!!!!

Dali keep standing tall the court is riddle with manipulative people like her trying to get her own way at the childs expence.Judges see this moer often than you think.It will work out stay strong and godspeed for this all to be over for you.take care Gail

EX called last night she got a bill from her attorney for $3500.00, and now she wants to settle and give me 50/50 if I'll pay for all the legal paper work.

Proving my point that none of this was ever about Grace, it was about money. I am so mad I can't even talk to her about it. If I had the money I would do it in a heart beat, but she makes 10K more than me a year. I am not going to agree to let her walk away with out paying for her share of the bills, and I sure as hell am not going to pay her attorneys bill when she is the one who took me to court.

Continuing to hope for the best for ya. I wouldn't pay that bill either lol.

Not only does she want me to pay the legal bills, she also wants me to absorb all the debt, that we accrued over the last 3 years (around 30K), that would be irresponsible to my kids. So we would have to struggle for the next 5 years while she got a clean start.
I think this is going to be a long, long divorce.

Dali - can I throw in my debt as well?
Nice wish list she has there.
You be strong.

Dali, I just read this post as I was searching around on my nothing-to-do morning and I am sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine going through what you are going through.

I hope it all works out in your best interest. I dont know your state's laws but if you ever have a legal question, ask away and I'll try to help.

I think I need to find a new strategy, the one I have been using of being nice and trying to work it out just gets me frustrated and gives me a headache. She won't work it, she will force me to take her to court to get what a judge would give me based on the law because she has no concept of the expense until people are demanding she pay the bill. So I need to dig deeper and give the attorney more money that could be spent on Grace so that a judge can tell her mom what I have been telling her for weeks.

No more talking on the phone, no more talking in person, no more emails that go no where. I will let my attorney handle everything. And we can go from there.

That is probably the best way to handle things Dali. She's just being a drama queen. You dont need to go through that kind of thing, especially when you have kids around.

Plus, I dont like crabbiness. You should be happy not worried and mad.

The ex has decided to settle and we worked out the last few details of visitation, custody, finances, and some personal things. I am taking a hit in the finacial part but if it keeps me from going to court and wasting money on an attorney I have to think that it is worth it. We will have joint physical custody and legal custody, she will pay child support, we will alternate taxes, if either of us moves out of the Iowa City are we would give up custody of Grace. Since I am assuming the debt from the marriage, about $20,000, she is going to return the wedding ring to me and a few other items that she has. There is a strong possibility that this whole thing could be done in a week, and definately by the end of the month.

It makes me sick that this is what becomes of a reltionship in which 2 people supposedly love each other, and a poor innocent baby is put in the middle. I am thankful that Grace is so young as to not really comprehend everything that has transpired over the last 11 months. I am ready to close the book on this chapter of my life and move on to a happy more fullfilling life with my kids, my family, my friends, and hopefully someday a partner.

I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone here who has been supportive to me thru all these ups and downs. All your advice, wisdom, comisiring, lecturing, and friendship, mean more to me than I could possible explain in a simple post. I hope that I have been able to be the friend to so many of you that you have been to me.

Thanks especially to Robin, for creating this site where we could all come together and support each other in our times of need. And to the moderators who help maintain the site and babysit us when we get out of hand.

Thank you, Dali.

Hey Dali, glad to hear that things are getting settled. I know what you mean about a relationship, so much ends up not about the feelings that were there but about dividing the kids, as well as the finances.
You've are an asset to this community here, you have shown that we can get through the ups and downs of these things and still come out smiling most days if we allow ourselves to. Good job.

Hey Dali, just wanted to say I am glad things are finally working out for you and lil Grace.