Hi All.

Being Christmas Eve's eve... I shouldn't be bugged by this, but I am. Very.

This summer I spent a few hundred dollars buying my kids a drum kit. Full size,cymbals, bass, drumsticks and all. set me back a little, but they, and esp. my 15yo son really wanted it.

So yesterday he and my godson were talking, as my godson is spending christmas with us.

Now, let me clarify something first. I know parents say this all the time, but, my kids are truly awesome. I am so proud of them and they make me proud over and again. So it was very disappointing to catch part of this conversation; they (my kids) were discussing, my son and a couple of other kids, forming a band.
My godson asked my son, about the drums and using them in the band. He responded that he didnt like that idea and was questioned as to why.
His response was emphatically:

"BECAUSE THEY SUKK!!"

I am very disappointed and hurt by that. He seemed to happy when I got them, and now this comment was just... I dont know.. and well, he didnt know I was there, but that doesnt make the comment any less hurtful and disappointing.

My response to that comment was: " They sukk? did I hear you right? they sukk? Well, those things that Sukk didnt cost YOU several hundred dollars!" And I walked out of the room. I had to calm down before I said anything I would regret.

Today the subject came up again. His comment to me was, "Dad, those are pretty good for practicing.. I ..I shouldnt have.." I cut him off "shouldn't have said something stupid?"

Son: "yeah...and I didnt mean to hurt your feelings."

Me: "Well, you did. I gotta go. "
I went back to work.

So how do I deal with this? Lost at this point.
I'll get over it..but for now.. this sucks.

Hey paulj, swallow ur pride....as a dad go talk to him. If u don't ur gonna feel bad everytime u think about it. He is a teenager....u know they dont think before they talk.

They don't understand the value of a dollare, but you may not understand the value of a really good drum set. It is the age old parent versus child debate.

I ask him to show you the one he wants. Offer to sell his and come up with the remaining money for the set he really wants. BUT !!!!! Make him earn half of the money to make up the difference. I would tell him that it was hurtful to hear what he said, but it would have been better if he had come to you. However, have you ever said something to a friend, significant other, or co-worker that you would die if the person you were talking about overheard? We all need to vent from time to time.

Hang in there. I am lucky to have a 5-year-old!!!!

I remember when I was 14 and all I wanted for chrismas that year was a weight bench and some weights for working out. I made it a point to let my parents know "Thats All I Wanted, Nothing Else". My father worked two jobs that year just to make ends meet and that whatever I recieved for christmas was from his sacrafices.

I got a used workout machine with handles that had an adjustable tensioner. I was disapointed but I did not show it openly. I used it once and never again. As I grew older, I realized that it hurt him, because after all he did to make sure I had something under the tree that christmas, I did'nt even use it.

If I had the workout machine today, I would use it everyday. I hope its under the tree this year!

I appreciate now what my father did then and still does! Don't forget what its like to be a teenager.

Have a great Christmas!