I have a problem. My exwife is in jail and I don't want my boys to know that is where she is. However, while she is there child support stops. This is making it really hard for me at this point in time. This on top of working second shift makes it hard for me to find a babysitter for them. Tonight is the first night that I had to call in because I didn't have anyone to watch them while I was at work. I really can't afford to have this happen again. I was wondering if anyone could point me in the right direction here. Thak you

Are there any colleges, junior colleges near by? Perhaps someone might need a little extra income and be available to stay with them at night/doing their classes during the day.
I hope things get better. I can relate to the mom in jail thing, only my daughter knew where she was....since that's when she came to stay with me fulltime. At least it made my custody battle not a battle at all.

Do your kids ask where mom is? If so, may I suggest that you tell them the truth....if not, and they find out, it is going to breach their trust in you. As far as sitting goes, contact a local Girl Scout troop, they are always needing to earn badges for babysitting. Do you go to church? If so, maybe a member may be able to help out.

Thanks for the help. I don't go to church because of the hours of my job. They don't ask about where she is. They know that she is in Indianapolis and that is as much as they know. There is a college near hear But I'm not sure that anyone would be willing to drive that far with the way the price of gas is anymore.

Someone mentioned colleges, and I second that idea. Post a note on a few colleges' billboards advertising for a live-in or live-out nanny. If they are live-in, you may be able to offer free room & board if they stay with your kids for free while you work. Of course, you will need to do interviews and get references to make sure they will be safe with your kids, and it may be very smart to draw up some kind of contract to insure the safety of your children. If they are live-out, you would have to pay them or find something you can offer in return that would be equal to what they'd get in payment.

As far as your ex-wife's situation, I would definitely tell them the truth if they ask about her. I don't know what their ages are, but if they're very young, then the questions just haven't come yet -- but they will! Be prepared with what you will say. If you want to preserve their good feelings toward their mom, and that's why you don't want them to know that she's in jail, may I suggest you say something like, "sometimes people make mistakes and do things that hurt other people. Mommy did something wrong, and now she has to pay the consequences. She is in a place that is kind of like time-out for adults, but the time-out lasts a long time. When her time-out is done, she will be able to see you again." Or something to that effect. Change it to suit the situation, but maybe putting it into a context that is not threatening and is on their level will help them to understand and still be able to love their mom as they always have.

Just my two cents on the subject. Best wishes!

Any of the kids' friends parents or any family that would be willing to help out with day care pro-bono? Good Luck, I know how hard it is to not have anyone to depend on.

Hi Clay...

I am not sure of your financial situation and what your employers pay you, but maybe one of the first things you might want to look at is the possibility of finding work that pays you enough money. This will help you avoid doing a second job, and will give you the time to perhaps start a small business from home instead of working two jobs. Just an idea. I know it is not an overnight cure for your current situation and is more long term as opposed to always worrying about a babysitter in the evenings.

I'd try to offer free room with the condition of staying home at night, get the ppl next door to keep an ye for weird.
AS fas as telling your kids about their moms situation ask her if she is planning to tell them first, If it was me I keep my mouth shut until they are older.

not all people that go to jail are bad people,sometimes one can get caught up in a moment..I liked someones advice to let her tell them or at least offer her the oppertunity..**** I spent a few says in jail when I was a younger man for kicking someones butt who seriously needed it...maybe she will get straightened out, hope so anyway....cool hand ray

Would your employer consider letting you change the shift you work? When I got custody of my daughter I explained my situation to my employer and they allowed me to switch to 1st shift. It wasn't an overnight change though so in the meantime I watched a friends 2 children in the mornings and she watched my daughter in the afternoons. It saved us both money.. On a side note, I would be honest and neutral when ever possible, it's difficult but worth it in the long run.. Good luck..

on the do i tell kids about jail issue i think maybe you should contact their mum and discuss how they are informed together, one day they will hve to know but i do second the 'Adult time-Out' approach but soften it to something like 'when adults are naughty sometimes they have to have a time-out for a very long time' but discuss it with their mum too so kids get same story from both.