quote:

Originally posted by LisaMarie221:
[qb] Hi-I am new here and I am desparate for anyones advice or simular experience. Ok- Sorry for this being so long. First some background: I am a single Mom to a 16 year old son with full custoty. His father and I broke up when he was three. His father left me for another woman, who he is now married to. Shortly after we broke up my parents moved across the country and my siblings all lived in another town. So it was just me and my son. My son seen his father every other weekend. His father made no attempt to see him more often, even though he was surpose to have him three weeks in the summer, he never took advantage of it.I put myself through college and I am a Dental Hygienist(although I am unhappy with my job and wish to change carreers). My son's father has alot of isuues (like his mom leaving him as a child) and is very angery. He blames me for everything, and I mean everything and is impossible to reason with. He also has paid the same amount of child surport (which was minimal)and never gave anything more-maybe a pack of socks or underwear here and there. He has called me names and bad mouths me to my son. His wife (who I have never met)will get into our phone conversations (when his Dad and I do talk) and basically adds fuel to the fire. She has also bad mouthed me very bad in the past to my son, (saying "she wished I would die in a car accident so she can **** on my grave") although I do not think recently she has been doing this. I can say my son is a great kid. He has never gave me one once of trouble. He is polite and caring. He tells me he loves me more than once every day. Gets good grades, never hung out with the bad crowd. Just a great kid. I have noticed lately though he has gotten some slight anger at times.
OK to the problem at hand:
We just got back from a 10 day visit to Arizona with my whole family for my Dad's birthday. My son was home for a week and then went to his Dad's for the weekend-july 10th. My son then called me on Sunday night to tell me that he was now going to live at his Dad's. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I always worried in the back of my mind about this because of a teenage boy needing to spend time with his Dad. However, this came out of the blue and has been a complete shock. My son has never mentioned anything to me before. I'm sure as to not upset me. He said he has been thinking about it for awhile( but of course I know his Dad had had some imput),I guess around May. His Dad has a house with a yard backing up to woods, with a Dog and they are able to do stuff like they have bomfires and cookouts. His Dad lives in a town about 25 minutes from me that has many lakes and his Dad has a boat and they go fishing. I live in a apartment in near a city. So I feel between that and the male bonding thing-what is more appealing to a 16 year old boy? Hang with Mom or doing all the fun guys stuff with Dad. I am moving to the same town and am starting the process of buying a house (scary thought)My son said it would be great if I lived in the same town and he would see me whenever I wanted. Although he has made it clear he wants to live with his Dad.
I have been crying for a week, not eating well and my emotions are all over the place. I am having problems with:

Coming home to a empty house just breaks my heart, not seeing my son. I am so lonely and depressed. I don't feel like it's home. Just some empty space(I feel I will be much better when I move to the same town)

Lack of surport- My mom and dad are trying to help, but they are 3,000 miles away. Also my siblings as well. But I still feel so alone. Some friends-but they all have thier own things going on

I'm not sleeping well and not eating well. Overall having a hard time even functioning. My mom says to start packing-even though I haven't found a place to move yet it will help.

Worried about my job, which is so stressful and my boss is not a nice person. I worry about functioning at work(I have been off for 2 weeks as the boss closed for vacation, of course no pay)

My ex and his wife are now thinking they have me at their mercy and are loving every minute of it. He said (surprisingly) said he felt bad for what I am going through, but other wise has been a total jerk and nasty

Trying to say the right thing to my son. He has been crying alot and saying how guilty he feels and he is trying to comfort me the best way a 16 year old can. I am trying to be strong and tell him I surport him (hardest thing ever) but there have been tears.

Stress from the thought of moving(I have wanted to move forever-but I am afraid of change). Whether I can afford a house or will qualify for a morgage.


Thank you and God bless to anyone who has read this as I know it is long. Please if anyone can give me advice or if they have been through a simular experience. I am trying the best I can, but my world had been changed in a blink of a eye. I am trying to look for the best since I have been wanting a change in my life. But the thought of my son not living with me has me brokenhearted and depressed and hurt. I have been crying for a week. I have been trying to read a book by Joel Osteen -"Your best life now",and it has helped some. I feel my body full of stress. I fell alone and helpless. Thanks, Lisa [/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by LisaMarie221:
Hi-I am new here and I am desparate for anyones advice or simular experience. Ok- Sorry for this being so long. First some background: I am a single Mom to a 16 year old son with full custoty. His father and I broke up when he was three. His father left me for another woman, who he is now married to. Shortly after we broke up my parents moved across the country and my siblings all lived in another town. So it was just me and my son. My son seen his father every other weekend. His father made no attempt to see him more often, even though he was surpose to have him three weeks in the summer, he never took advantage of it.I put myself through college and I am a Dental Hygienist(although I am unhappy with my job and wish to change carreers). My son's father has alot of isuues (like his mom leaving him as a child) and is very angery. He blames me for everything, and I mean everything and is impossible to reason with. He also has paid the same amount of child surport (which was minimal)and never gave anything more-maybe a pack of socks or underwear here and there. He has called me names and bad mouths me to my son. His wife (who I have never met)will get into our phone conversations (when his Dad and I do talk) and basically adds fuel to the fire. She has also bad mouthed me very bad in the past to my son, (saying "she wished I would die in a car accident so she can **** on my grave") although I do not think recently she has been doing this. I can say my son is a great kid. He has never gave me one once of trouble. He is polite and caring. He tells me he loves me more than once every day. Gets good grades, never hung out with the bad crowd. Just a great kid. I have noticed lately though he has gotten some slight anger at times. <br />OK to the problem at hand:<br />We just got back from a 10 day visit to Arizona with my whole family for my Dad's birthday. My son was home for a week and then went to his Dad's for the weekend-july 10th. My son then called me on Sunday night to tell me that he was now going to live at his Dad's. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I always worried in the back of my mind about this because of a teenage boy needing to spend time with his Dad. However, this came out of the blue and has been a complete shock. My son has never mentioned anything to me before. I'm sure as to not upset me. He said he has been thinking about it for awhile( but of course I know his Dad had had some imput),I guess around May. His Dad has a house with a yard backing up to woods, with a Dog and they are able to do stuff like they have bomfires and cookouts. His Dad lives in a town about 25 minutes from me that has many lakes and his Dad has a boat and they go fishing. I live in a apartment in near a city. So I feel between that and the male bonding thing-what is more appealing to a 16 year old boy? Hang with Mom or doing all the fun guys stuff with Dad. I am moving to the same town and am starting the process of buying a house (scary thought)My son said it would be great if I lived in the same town and he would see me whenever I wanted. Although he has made it clear he wants to live with his Dad.<br />I have been crying for a week, not eating well and my emotions are all over the place. I am having problems with:<br /><br />Coming home to a empty house just breaks my heart, not seeing my son. I am so lonely and depressed. I don't feel like it's home. Just some empty space(I feel I will be much better when I move to the same town)<br /><br />Lack of surport- My mom and dad are trying to help, but they are 3,000 miles away. Also my siblings as well. But I still feel so alone. Some friends-but they all have thier own things going on<br /><br />I'm not sleeping well and not eating well. Overall having a hard time even functioning. My mom says to start packing-even though I haven't found a place to move yet it will help.<br /><br />Worried about my job, which is so stressful and my boss is not a nice person. I worry about functioning at work(I have been off for 2 weeks as the boss closed for vacation, of course no pay)<br /><br />My ex and his wife are now thinking they have me at their mercy and are loving every minute of it. He said (surprisingly) said he felt bad for what I am going through, but other wise has been a total jerk and nasty<br /><br />Trying to say the right thing to my son. He has been crying alot and saying how guilty he feels and he is trying to comfort me the best way a 16 year old can. I am trying to be strong and tell him I surport him (hardest thing ever) but there have been tears. <br /><br />Stress from the thought of moving(I have wanted to move forever-but I am afraid of change). Whether I can afford a house or will qualify for a morgage.<br /><br /><br />Thank you and God bless to anyone who has read this as I know it is long. Please if anyone can give me advice or if they have been through a simular experience. I am trying the best I can, but my world had been changed in a blink of a eye. I am trying to look for the best since I have been wanting a change in my life. But the thought of my son not living with me has me brokenhearted and depressed and hurt. I have been crying for a week. I have been trying to read a book by Joel Osteen -"Your best life now",and it has helped some. I feel my body full of stress. I fell alone and helpless. Thanks, Lisa