Hello everyone,

Happy to have discovered this site and hope to make some online friends.

I am a 42 year old mother to an amazing 3 year old named Reilly.
My husband left us for s 19 year old belly dancer on December 26th of 2003. Yes...I know..how cliche. But what a nice guy he was...he waited until after Xmas I decided that I had had enough abuse (he had an affair with her for almost 2 years), shame and humilation. I sold the house, in a high BC market, and bought a nice big house in Ontario, My EX blames me for "taking his little girl away". He is so obtuse. In the 5 months we were in BC the man never made a move to try and keep Reilly and I close. I told him to contact a counsellor so we ccould work out a parenting plan, he never made the call. I asked him to see Reilly more often he was too busy with his 19 year old.
I moved into a wonderful small town to be closer to my family and my daughter has an ideal life here.
I could not stand the idea of raising Reilly with two parents that could not even be in the same room with each other.
This man choked and hit me while I was holding Reilly on my hip. There was no trust between us. He kept lying to me even after he left. Oh and his Coup de Grace, while the man was living in my house he would go and say to me "I am sleeping over at Laura's tonight", and he would come home at 9 the next morning acting like a king. Finally I figured out a way to get him out of the house...I sold it!
Anger is a huge motivator.

I am still very angry and bitter but I am working on forgiveness. I need to forgive for myself. Being angry takes to much negative emotion.
My daughter has her baptismal tomorrow and that is just one of many special events he will miss. He never wanted her to follow and religion so I am happy to make this move for her as I feel having a spirtual following is important.
I am off to watch a little TV before bed. Hope to hear from all.
Trish

I'm sooooo sorry Trish. Women (people) don't need to be treated like so. My EX tried to force a girlfriend into our marriage 10 years ago and I made him pick. Once he decided, I did not look back even when he lost his girlfriend. I did not prevent him from seeing his children, he chose to do that on his own accord. He wasn't involved or seemed interested when the children were born and has even told me he never wanted children when we split.

I'm working on forgiveness myself, even after 10 years (though, less angry). I didn't plan on becoming a single parent or want to bring up children without a father.

It is good now you have the opportunity to find true love and raise your daughter w/o living in house feeling betrayed everyday. I know I am glad not to be part of a facade and a lie when I left.