My boys dad has had ongoing mental problems, documented for the last 11 years, we have been together since 1999 and married since 2000. He adopted my oldest and we had 2 more. He was supposed to be the one to never hurt me and never leave me. He has used his "mental health" or lack of to get what he wants and doesn't want. After a 15 month abandonment...the 4th time he has abandoned the kids since 11/04, he has a new girlfriend and has taken me to court for visitation. We suffered through supervised visits, thought his behavior was going to play in our favor...he was granted unsupervised visits...every other Sat and every other Sun...which means he gets them EVERY weekend now. We go back to court on 8/27 and I know that the judge will give him entire weekend visits. This is killing me that no one will listen to anything the boys have to say and the judge completely ignores everything he is told and just because dad got a job 3 years ago with the same crazy person organization he went through and his wages are attached for child support everyone seems to think he is ok to have these kids for 6 hours at a time. 2 weeks ago 2 of the boys got stung by bees and my oldest had to tel hin how to treat it. Also when my oldest asked dad if he would let him help weedeating andmaybe give him a few dollars for it, my son was told "You should look into that Prositution Ring and start selling you *** on the street" MY oldest son is 14 years old and this is his father telling him this. Please if anyone else is dealing with anything similiar to this.......H E L P ! ! ! ! !

The only part we have in common is the craziness, and the courts not listening. I don't know what to tell you about what to do. I haven't found the answer to that myself. Therapists are aware of his behavior, but also seemed to be threatened by it.
I guess the best I can come up with is to find a really good therapist. (for your kids)Someone who is strong enough to see what's going on. Because that's who the court listens to.

Thanks for that...I definately feel like the only sane one.

I know what you are going through. I have no answers for you. What the sane one says about finding a good therapist is good advice because the courts never seem to listen to the parents or the kids themselves, unless a therapist backs it up. Good luck to you and your children.

Thaks for that, oldest started "counciling" 2 weeks ago, do not know how it will go as he is quite good at holding everything in. My hope is that he opens up to this person and will let it all out.

How old is your oldest? I understand what you are saying. How is a child going to disclose information that you know is true, to some stranger? I encouraged my daughter to tell her therapist to tell the things she told me. My daughters therapist, it turns out, is not a strong enough therapist to stand up to my daughters very charming and convincing father. The therapist see's what's going on, but is too fearful to actually address the problems or to give my daughter guidance as to how to handle it. Therefore my advice to find someone who is strong. It's not easy and now the therapist my daughter has, has decided to move away, which I am happy for because it gives me chance to find someone else that I can interview and decide on since now I have so much more insight than I did the firs time around. It's all a learning experience.

You're definately not alone. I suggest forming your own support group (or join one)and to never give up on your children. I think you should find out as much as you can about the laws and start gaining allies and get support from strong minded people (and people with political power or connections) who understand the family court system and what you are going through because some people just don't get it. But for now just get support, counseling, do things you enjoy. I am back together with my ex right now because when we were apart he had me in court constantly, would not support his child, and just gave me a hard time to put it VERY mildly. I ignored him for 2 months and he came back saying how sorry he was and I took him back only because I can supervise him around my child and he helps to support her now because I guess he feels he knows where the money is going. I should not have to do this but this is the only way I feel I can protect my daughter until she is older. If you rely soley on the courts they will let you and your children down everytime. The system is about money not families. Don't believe the hype about family court at all.